Amy what you wanna do?

A song for Amy.

Pimp Juice

My PIMP NAME is Bizzle Da' Nizzle, what's yours?

Get a PIMP NAME

Exposure

If we want to get more exposure for RW..BS, I suggest we consider advertising here.

I think we have a love connection

I found this on rosa's tagboard over at Whoa That Was So Deep.

William: iam elven in australia wonderne if youll go ote with me

Ok, is he eleven and a crappy speller, or is he a hobbit ... and a crappy speller?
Either way he meets rosa's criteria.

The Sheen - Laborteaux Connection

It is all starting to make sense.
Belle, Nancy, Cori are you paying attention?
Shattered Spirits (1986) (Made for TV)
The cast
Martin Sheen .... Lyle Mollencamp
Melinda Dillon .... Joyce Mollencamp
Matthew Laborteaux .... Ken Mollencamp
Lukas Haas .... Brian Mollencamp
Roxana Zal .... Lesley Mollencamp
John Cougar Mellencamp .... John Cougar Mollencamp
Plot summary
A dedicated middle-class family man (Martin Sheen) has his life shattered by his uncontrolled drinking. First, he loses his job. Then, after a violent outburst at home, his wife (Melinda Dillon) files a court order to keep him away from her and their three children. To regain his family he joins Alcoholics Anonymous and his family decides to for counseling sessions. There they learn how much his drinking has controlled their lives.

Wobbleboard Classics Volume #1

Posted by: boz48730

Wobbleboard Classics Volume #1



Aww, isn't rosa sweet. She burnt this CD for me of Aussie hits back in 2003. Of course I had to burn her TWO Beachboy CDs in exchange, and did I tell you she cut off one of the songs before it finished but she couldn't be arsed* to redo it.
*Aussie for couldn't be bothered.

Exclusive to the RW ... BS

Almost live, from the zonkboard.
Sanrda, how is your ass?

Back to school post 1

aaaaaaaagh! so tired.. already and its only after day 1!
Full details of what happened are posted on Whoa
But let me tell you.. Boz (yes our very own little bozarama) is all around my school. It started at around midday when the IT guy set me up with a username and password for the schools (eeeeeeeeeeeeextensive) computer net work (apparently the largest in a state school in the country )When he was done, he looked at me and smiled and said "now you can log on and read Boz whenever and wherever you like!" Instantly i thought that my internet (superstar) fame had preceeded me and that my famous friends(you) and i were the talk of the school!(It could happen!) But no... he was referring to the schools intranet! The in-school mail service is called Bozmail (Boz being an abreviation of the schools name) I just sat there glassy eyed trying not to crack up! All the online features had something to do with Boz. The daily notices are called The Boz bits ( And which laydee hasnt wanted to get her hands on those!) and the parent newsletter the Boz biz. Ahhh it had me giggling all day long. But then again.. i am an idiot.

AJI, part 2

AmyJong-Il, eternal bosom of hot love.

I feel like joining the Axis of Evil now.

AmyJong-Il

I have a sick identification with North Korean dictator and narcissist Kim Jong Il, thanks to seeing Trey Parker and Matt Stone's brilliant interpretation of him in puppet form in their movie "Team America--World Police". I was deeply moved by the movie because, unwittingly, I think, it captured (while ridiculing) the nasty inner puppet that holds my psyche in thrall, the little demon-with-strings who tyrannizes my life--the demon soul, the sicko lost in a hall of mirrors, the ego who can only see its own image multiplied everywhere, sickeningly lonely and violent and proud and completely demented. I was humbled by a puppet. I don't think I can watch that movie again, the revelation was so horrifying. Somehow Kim Jong Il (as interpreted in marionnette form) revealed my own inner dictator to me. Since then I often meditate on the image of the fat-faced puppet singing "so ronery" in a vast red room, surrounded by images of himself that are dozens of feet high.

Oh, did I mention I was stoned when I saw it?
But still.
So anyway, today I read in Harper's a list of honorifics Kim Jong Il has bestowed upon himself. Feel free to apply any and all of them to me:

World's Greatest Writer
Power Incarnate with Endless Creativity
Perfect Picture of Wisdom and Boldness
Lodestar of the 21st century
Present-Day God
Guardian Deity of the Planet
Supreme Commander at the Forefront of the Struggle Against Imperialism and the United States
Greatest Saint Who Rules with Extensive Magnanimity
Leader with Extraordinary Personality
Eternal Bosom of Hot Love

When did I become so pathetic?

And Seymour An Introduction.

Ode to AmyJo...

she was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens
'til her boyfriend kicked her out in one of those crushing scenes
what was she to do? where was she to go? she was out on her Fanny...

(doesn't "fanny" in Australia actually mean 'vagina'?? rosa? anyone?)

*ahem*

it's time to put the Nanny to bed, but before we do, go take


(log in and play as a guest if you don't want to register)

More tongue, please

You're not a man till you've had sheep tongue.



I was going to say that Cori has opened a can of worms ... but ahhh
I haven't looked at page two yet.

Potted meat Product Pot-Luck?

What would you bring?

What I do while zonking

Posted by: boz48730

Everyone knows it's Slinky!

Jack Daniels, Terrance Trent D'arby, and the Wizard of Id

what do these things have in common?

other than the letter A, NOTHING.

which is what i've been doing around here lately.

here being the rwbs abode. this is an abode, right?

boz, i never ever thought i would read the words "i wish mad was here" by your hand. i cried.

my desperate attempts at world animation and reuniting Wham have failed miserably. George Michael still looks sexy with stubble though. meow.

so, here i am, back in the saddle again. wearing nothing but chaps of course.

sorry i have to miss out on the whatever that was i read gift exchange, but my belated ass is there in spirit. or ethanol. whatever.

everyone knows billy idol has a new album coming out right?

RW... BS Tron movie

While the movie hasn't been shot yet, the promotional poster is ready.


Jon

Driver, move that bus!

We didn't have bus drivers like this when I was in school!

A Candle in the Wind

I present for you Amyjo's artistic rendering, sketched on the back of a Del Monte's Sweet Peas can label, of the events leading up to, and the subsequent dedication and singing of A Candle in the Wind to me, Boz.

1. A picto-graphic timeline.
2. A tasteful, yet revealing close-up.

The Boz Mail Project

The Boz Mail Project
Posted by: boz48730.

A vid cap from a video I made called the Boz Mail Project.
With an aging special effect. The video was aged, not me.

Santa Baby

Here are some things I like:
flavored lip gloss (bubblegum watermelon or mint--but I don't think they make mint anymore)
fake eyelashes
bath stuff
pirate romance novels or native american romance novels
lynda barry comics
any and all stationery except notebooks with plastic covers and ballpoint pens
miniature or travel size anything
anchovies

What do you think would be a crappy XIJIF present?

I would put candles at the top of my Crappy Gift List, along with tins of potted meat, cheese, a toilet seat cover, a Nanny: the first 3 seasons DVD, a biography of Gummo Marx or his brother Karl, or a puppy dog paint by numbers set.

What about you?

If guilt doesn't work, bribery will

Here are the stickers I had to promise to send Isabella to get her to send me her mailing address.

All I got for Xmas in June last year.

Just to show you how much fun XIJIF can be, my haul for XIJ last year.

Belle was my secret santa and here are two pics of what I got.
The toys.
The candy.

And here is an audiopost describing what I got.

Guidelines for XIJIF gift exchange

Ok, I'm half asleep so bare with me here.

I have drawn the names for everyone and will be sending emails out tonight informing you of who you will be secret santa for, and I will also be requesting your mailing address, which could be your home address, your work address, or a post office box, anything so we can make sure your gift is delivered.

The names will remain secret, which means that you will not know who drew your name until you receive your package.

XIJIF will be celebrated on February 25, 2005, so make sure you allow enough cushion for the package to arrive on time.

The price limit on your present should be ten american dollars give or take a few. I'm not sure what that is in Aussie dollars, or Euros. Rosa and Sandra can figure that out for themselves.

It would be nice if when you open your package on Xmas day if you made an audio, or video post of it, or at least take some pics of what you received.

Some suggestions on gift buying.
You could buy one gift for ten dollars.
Or a couple of gifts for five a piece.
Or you could do what a few of did last year for Xmas in June, you could go crazy at the dollar store. Of course, I don't think dvl has ever been within 500 feet of a Dollar Store, but that is neither here nor there, it's just a dig.

The main purpose is to have fun, and not sweat the small stuff.

It is also acceptable to leave hints for what you would like, as Nancy and Marci have already done, but wanting it and wishing for it doesn't make it so.

One last thing, the only person who will be getting your mailing address besides me is your secret santa, and I will not be sending out the mailing addresses until I have received all ten of your mailing addresses, this is to discourage slackers. ::cough cough belle cough cough::
I already have dvl's, Jonnies, Sandra's and Rosa's mailing addresses, so they do not have to include them when they respond to my original email.

Blah, blah, blah.

I guess that is it. If I have left anything out, or you have further questions, you can leave a comment or drop me an email, or mention it on the zonk.

Tada!!!

Writing Cover Letters is Hard

Any suggestions?

"Dear Sirs:

Please accept this letter and the following resume as my application for the position of Part Time Legal Assistant you posted on CraigsList.

For the past several years, I have worked as the Administrative Secretary to the Director of Patient Care Services at Gateways Hospital, a position that was non-existent until I took it. Originally, the Director brought me on to assist with revisions on the hospital’s policies and procedures. As I proved myself by tackling that project, the Director increased my responsibilities to include payroll, scheduling, hiring, communicating with vendors and registry, collecting and analyzing data for quarterly reports, and many more administrative duties. With each new responsibility, I adapted to incorporate the task into work routine.

Now as I come to a point where I might move up in position, I realize that I do not want to make my career in heath care, and instead I am searching for a position in the field of law, specifically criminal law.

I believe that my strong office/administration skills along with my desire to learn and grow in the field of criminal law would make me an excellent Part Time Legal Assistant. Thank you for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you and setting up a meeting with you at a mutually convenient time to further discuss my qualifications.

Sincerely,


Andrew H-----"

As suggested by AmyJo

Yeah, I guess so.


You are 'Deck the Halls'! Let's be honest, it
isn't Christmas you are celebrating, is it? In
fact, you know full well that there were no
shepherds in the fields in December, and that
the date of Christmas was put at midwinter
specifically to coincide with the older
celebrations of Yule and the birth of Mithras.
An unashamed Pagan, you take great glee in the
number of carols referring to holly, evergreens
and Winter's end, and will sing them with
gusto. You know where they really came from.
And you do enjoy the seasonal celebrations,
regardless of their name... A merry Yule to
you!


What Christmas Carol are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hulk By Night

The Incredible Hulk nightlight, evening action -


I'll never sleep again.

DECENT!!!

In addition to bootleg Sharpies, Boz's giftpack included a Hulk nightlight which is perfect for my bathroom -


Also, there is a great rollerblade kit, discussed in more detail over at Nacho Steppinstone -

The skates fit onto a person's fingers perfectly, making an extremely lifelike rollerblading experience -


I call this trick, "Hulk Bukkake" -

The Loot

It seems like XIJIF already, especially since I bought "Holiday Spice Pepsi" at the 99cent store today.

Boz certainly knows how to put together a gift package, here's the evidence -


There is too much here for one post, so I will feature a different item in various posts both here & on the Nacho blog. Until I've covered everything.

First off, there was an open package of counterfit Sharpies -

They're extremely lifelike & I think it would be difficult to prove they aren't the real McCoy. 4 colors, one for each mood.

Kicking Off the XIJIF Season

Live audio footage of Jonnie opening a gift package from Boz, just moments after it arrived in the mailbox.

Stay away from the brown acid.

Posted by: boz48730

I love hospital no skid, mini socks, he says
sarcastically.

But I was so wiped out today I didn't even bother taking them off.
I sleep now, and dream the dreams of the medicated.

Gonna Wash that Man

Right outta my hair and send him on his way.

So the hotsprings: it was like a miracle at Lourdes.

The divine confluence of menses and the healing waters of Calistoga wrought a change in me:
I am no longer in love with Boz.

Ring out the bells! Wring out the towels!

I looked at the picture of his knee and felt...nothing.

I have been healed.

In case anyone needs to know (hint)

I collect paperweights. And birdhouses.

See, I'm making this easy.

You are welcome.

Oh My God, they've killed Kenny

Posted by: boz48730

Oh My God, they've killed Kenny
You bastards!!!

I Can't Believe I Gave My Panties To A Geek

Who is Duckie??

Man, I so wanted to be Bender.

Liquid Generation

XIJIF ... The Names Have Been Drawn

Since I am house bound by the blizzard I went ahead and drew the names for the gift exchange. There are eleven of us taking part. I wish Mad was around, cause I'd like him to be involved to, but I guess it isn't to be.

Anyway, do you think we should make who got who public, or should we keep it a surprise like last time? I think either way would be cool, so I'll leave it up to you.

I'll work on the guidelines and try to post them tomorrow night, or monday, but probably not monday because I go to the hospital for my last shot on monday, and last time I was pretty loopy for the rest of the day, so it could be monday, but probably not, or tuesday, yeah, tuesday by the latest.

The Official List

What Age Do You Act?

Quiz courtesy of Paul over at Noxturne -

You Are 23 Years Old

23 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

high maintainance

FREEDOM!!!

If you squint just right you can see the word FREEDOM in the stigmata belle visited upon my knee.



Update:
Computer Enhancement of the "FREEDOM" stigmata visited upon my knee by belle.

XIJIF Weekend Update

We got a go from Drew, so it all comes down to belle.
Let me tell you a little bit about belle.
She is hesitant to participate in XIJIF because she knows thinks everybody hates her.
Well, yeah, that might be true, but I bet you didn't know that belle has some incurable disease, that changes every time I chat with her, and she is not likely to make it through till spring.
So come on everybody, pretend that you really do like belle, let's make XIJIF belle's personal Candle In The Wind dedication.
Belle???
Belle???
This is for you ...

Goodbye ummm, belle
Though I never knew you at all
You had the grace to hold yourself
While those around you crawled
They crawled out of the woodwork
And they whispered into your brain
They set you on the treadmill
And they made you change your name

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a candle in the wind
Never knowing who to cling to
When the rain set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was just a kid
Your candle burned out long before
Your legend ever did

Loneliness was tough
The toughest role you ever played
Hollywood created a superstar
And pain was the price you paid
Even when you died
Oh the press still hounded you
All the papers had to say
Was that errr, belle was found in the nude

Goodbye ummm, belle
From the young man in the 22nd row
Who sees you as something as more than sexual
More than just our errr, belle.

Belle, you must take part in XIJIF because it may be the last thing you will ever do without tubes running out of all parts of your body.

Rocks, Paper, Scissors anyone?

Genuine Smile Test

Once again Sandralein and I got exactly the same score on a test.
This one comes from The Glob & Wail and it tests how well you can judge a real smile VS a fake smile, judged from actual video clips of people smiling.

The test is located at http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/mind/surveys/smiles/index.shtml

Sandra and I both got 15 out of 20 correct.
Warning: contains some pretty ugly British people.

How cold is it???

It's so cold that ...

The Diet

Last night I had another conversation with DVL and Mannaz on why I no longer drink soda. I said that I quit to help lose weight, though it has done little to change my girth. I told them that I have been drinking a lot of ice tea instead, specifically Snapple.

"Diet Snapple?" Mannaz asked.

"No," I answered.

"How many calories are in that?" DVL replied.

So today when I stopped into the 7-11 to get my morning Snapple I checked.

Snapple has 100 calories per serving, and there are 4 servings in the 32 oz bottle I buy.
Coke has 100 calories per serving, and there are 2.5 servings in the 20 oz bottle.

I had just woken up, so I couldn't do the math in my head, but when I got to work, I loaded up my calculator and checked it out.

Snapple: 100 calories x 4 servings = 400 calories / 32 oz = 12.5 calories per oz.
Coke: 100 calories x 2.5 servings = 250 calories / 20 oz = 12.5 calories per oz.

So as I start my new diet Monday, I can take the option of bringing soda back into my consumption or removing both. I think I'm going to do a combo. Snapple will be replaced by Coke (or C2 depending if I take to the taste), but I'll be drinking a lot less of it.

Drinking with the Fishes

I know my posts would go over a lot better with visual aids, but sorry, use your imaginations.

So every 3rd Thursday the Academy of Science hosts a happy hour in the musuem. It is really fun, because you can wander around with a glass of booze staring into the trippy exhibits, like the metal casts of ants nests--which look like M.C. Escher pathways descending in spirals, stopping at platforms and running down deep into the ground, or you can press your nose against the glass and watch the giant alligator gar swim in its terrible slow sad circles.

Someone with a grim sense of humor designed the fish tanks in a style I can only describe as "industrial chic"--that is, instead of giving the fishies naturalistic environments--you know, plants, sand, little caves, etc, they gave them urban hidey holes, I guess to mimic the encroaching human shit on their habitats.

You have not lived until you have seen a giant moray eel poking out of a pvc pipe. It was sad and disturbing and since eels look like giant turds anyway, a little gross. They had all these giant primeval fishes--fishes the color of dust, fishes that are so ancient and alien it makes your skin creep--partly because they are so other, and partly because they are penned up in all that glass instead of cruising the Amazon and eating pygmies, or something.

So all these drunk yuppies San Franciscans were peering groggily at the fish, and rattling the ice in their drinks, and my companion found it all rather too much, so we wound up by the kiddie pool on some plastic naptime mats, but nothing interesting happened. I watched a pop-eyed goldfish eat its own poo while my companion talked about the evil republican regime.

Two lost souls swimmin' in a fish bowl, how right you were, Mr. Floyd, how right you were.

XIJIF Update

Sandra and Jonnie after much cyber sexing deliberation have decided to take part in XIJIF. That leaves only Belle and Drew who have yet to commit, or is it committ?
Hahaha, Belle and Drew and the Morning Crew, 99.8 FM, weekdays 7-10 AM, and don't forget Getting Really Stupid People to Do Really Stupid Things For a Chance to Win Really Stupid Prizes Fridays on ... Belle and Drew and the Morning Crew.

Ok, I left out Mad, maybe we could pitch in and buy a wreath or something.

Xmas in June in February Update

So far Amyjo, Cori, Dvl, Marci, Nancy, Rosa and Boz have signed up for XIJIF.
You've got till the end of the month to sign on, give or take a day or two.
We need a few more. Don't make me beg, because my "On Your Knees" t-shirt is in the dirty clothes.

im still alive

Have been absent.. busy prepping for the holy day, prepping for work next week and the shit just hit the fan (please read my blog)

But christmas sounds fun.

R-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r

r-r-r-r-r-r-r-i-i-i-i-i-i-p-p-p-p-p-p
I always keep my word, mostly.
Caution: Man Boobs, may not be safe for work.

Today's discussion

Perhaps it is just me, but it seems to me that we spend entirely too much money on this coronation inauguration stuff. Agree? Disagree? Discuss.

Excuse me, but...

I bared my soul (and my body!) on that audio post.
The least you people could do is comment.

Or are you averting your eyes from the horrible trainwreck of my humiliation?

Sheesh. Even Jonnie's weird boring graph thingy got comments.
I feel so neglected.

In other news, the gallery is planning a huge gala show with our big celebrity painter: Clicky click http://www.leroyneiman.com/about.ihtml?about=photos2
http://www.leroyneiman.com/about.ihtml?about=photos4

He is the creator of the famous clicky click http://www.toonopedia.com/femlins.htm,
a cross between a girl and a gremlin.

They might make us wear bunny costumes with little bow ties.
I can't wait.

Did AmyJo mention she was going to be late for work?

The things I do to appease my minions.

AmyJo's Zonkboard Humiliation

What will a person do to become old school?
It appears that AmyJo will do just about anything!

It's Important

We Need Your Help.

Workin' fer tha May-yan!

AmyJo's revenge...

It's Official!

Happy One Year Anniversay To The Real World ... Blogger Style.

Jonnie's mystery gift

What can it be ???

Xmas in June in February (((BUMP))) and update

February is such a god awful sucking month how about if we liven it up a bit by having Xmas in June in February?
Let me know if you are interested.
Full house participation would be nice but not necessary.

For the newbies who don't know any better, Xmas in June in February is an actual holiday where the members of the house actually for real draw names and exchange gifts with other house members. The spending limit is $10.00, give or take a buck or two and Xmas would be on February 25th, give or take a day or two.

Again for the newbies, perhaps some of the old timers can relate their fond memories from last years Xmas in June.

Oh man, I am getting excited already.

AmyJo's diet revolution

In my neverending quest to come up with get-rich-qwik (tm) schemes, I have decided to cash in on the diet craze. Here are some of my ideas that should make Atkins followers look like bloated, irrepressible gluttons.

1) The Poor Woodcutter's Diet and exercise plan

Saw wood in the black forest for 12 hours a day. Big trees=more resistance
Little trees=more reps
Have more children than you can afford to feed.
Give all your food to them.
Eat boiled sawdust mixed with meal in lieu of bread, etc.
Marry a terrible shrew after your first wife dies who insists on turning the children out in the forest to die.
Give them your last piece of bread.
By NO MEANS should you FOLLOW THE TRAIL OF BREADCRUMBS into the forest.

2) The Mr. Woodhouse Diet (for Jane Austen fans)
Popular variant: The Oliver Twist Diet

Eat gruel and only gruel. Freak out if anyone suggests you try a piece of cake, or if anyone offers you MORE. Let the splendors of the English language feed you.

3) The dying bohemian diet
Live in an unheated attic.
Fall madly in love with a poet/seamstress/musician/philosopher who torments you.
Drink as much alcohol as you can hold, but forget to eat.
Get TB. Remember, coughing is great for the abs!

4) The Gross Little Kid's All-Protein diet
Three words to live by:
Boogers and paste.