The Real World ... Blogger Style: 06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

Tomorrow will go down as a day of infamy

at least for the RWBS.
Dvl, MadMathias, and Nancy will be meeting for drinks and debauchery at an undisclosed location somewhere in the wilds of Southern California. This will be the first face to face meeting of any house members. Paramedics and CHIPS have been alerted.

Also, Monique, a trusted friend of the RWBS will be in attendance.

Sorry belle, but your out of body experiences do not qualify as actual meetings.

Who is ...

The Phantom MILF and why won't she identify herself?

Public Service Project

I think it is important for us, as blogmates, to perform regular public service. And I have found an appropriate project.

According to a news article, in the Houston Chronicle, textbooks recently approved for use in the state of Texas "are being criticized for being so focused on abstinence that they fail to include state-mandated information on contraception....For example, Holt, Rinehart and Winston's 'Lifetime Health' lists 10 steps for students to protect themselves from sexually transmitted diseases. The use of latex condoms is not one of them. Students are advised, however, to get plenty of rest."

Now, as adults (Jonnie excluded, of course), we are ALL aware of the importance of getting plenty of rest when it comes to preventing STDs. But we know it is so much more than just that. So, as our public service project, I propose that we add to this list of ways to prevent STDs.

I shall start.

1. Get plenty of rest (thanks, Holt, Rinehart and Winston)
2. Avoid using the same knife to cut both poultry and fresh vegetables.
3. Remember to turn your car wheels toward the curb when parking on a hill.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Tell me about last nights dream.

Last night I dreamt that I was staying at dvl's condo and her husband Tim and I went bowling. He bowled 738 for three games but I don't remember what I bowled. Dvl was not in the dream, but her daughter was, and she was acting up.

Monday, June 28, 2004

The sequel to Naked On Rollerskates

Available at Amazon.Com and all finer bookstores.


Ive been quiet. Im working. Drawing and haiku soon to come. Out of my way. I'm an artist! I have a sharp pain in my hand. I think im dying.

Here is a poem

Blah di da di da
Blah blah blah blah
Beep beep beep

More wine.

Did you feel it?

Hey, you upper midwesterners....did you feel this earthquake?

Magnitude 4.1
Date-Time Monday, June 28, 2004 at 1:10:51 AM (local time)
Distances 12 km (7 miles) NNE (31°) from North Utica, IL
13 km (8 miles) NW (321°) from Ottawa, IL
64 km (40 miles) SW (236°) from Aurora, IL
114 km (71 miles) WSW (247°) from Chicago, IL

Mom, when I grow up.....

And as quickly as you can text "The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the most ferocious freshwater fish in the world. In reality they seldom attack a human," it was over.

Sunday, June 27, 2004

So long, farewell--

and i don't know how to spell the next one, so that's all you get...
However, it is time for me to bid you all adieu.
I have been a reclusive, non-participating member of this house for far too long.
I have not posted in more weeks than i can count (hey, i'm not good with math, okay?)
Nor have I taken quizzes or photos which would have included me in the house happenings somewhat...
AND I couldn't even manage to get Jonnie's present in the mail before Christmas Eve--and we all know mail doesn't get delivered on X-mas, so he probably doesn't even have it yet...
In short: I suck (and while, granted, i DO swallow, that just doesn't count for what it used to).

Anyway, it's been fun, and i love you all (possibly in that creepy, obsessive way that is prominent in stalkers and death row inmantes...).

I will continue to lurk, so watch out...
I am blowing kisses toward all of you at this moment--

Life is just a barrel of mustard

Or words to that effect.

Saturday, June 26, 2004

I don't know Jonnie

but these two rate very high on my list.

What's Your Favorite Book?

This is definitely mine, no contest -
(Even though I haven't read it yet)

I am searching desperately for a copy.
I'm positive it must be the greatest book ever!

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Hello world!

This is me...

or is it?


All I got for xmas in june

an audio retrospective.

this is an audio post - click to play

Friday, June 25, 2004

As promised here is the loot

that I received from belle in my xmas in june package.
The toys.
The candy.
Am I lucky, or what?

The often talked about but rarely seen

Belle's monkey mask of doom pic.

Merry Xmas in June

Here's how Jonnie is celebrating -

But then, the mail hasn't come yet.

I am the Oliver Twist of the Internet.

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xmas in june and Kevynn Malone's birthday are on the same day.
Quick, get the nails and the crucifix and let's head on over to Fat Free Milk and REALLY celebrate!!!

spreading the x-mas cheer.

it's been awhile my fellow roommates, so let me start by saying happy x-mas in june to all. thanks to my secret santa for the bronchitis, and wonderfully dangerous ACME burn down your apartment kit!

i propose to continue with the faux holiday spirit, that we all exchange numbers and call each other at midnight next wednesday, to celebrate the turning of halfwaythere new years eve. or to begin the celebration of canada day.

time to freshen up on my auld lang sine.

My secret shame.


I'll let you in on it... Laydies and gentlefellows more than half the time i havnt got the faintest idea what youre all talking about, i mean i think youre all great but... face it a bigger bunch of crazies im yet to (not) meet, dont take it the wrong way i mean if HAD to be stuck in a virtual house with anyone it would be you... to be sure! I've been google-ing all day and am yet to find some sort of translating device, its a sad fact but apparently babelfish doesnt speak crayzee.

Happy Christmas in July (or something)
Youre the best
(phew i think ive covered myself there)

A bozzie xmas in june

audio greeting

this is an audio post - click to play

Happy xmas in june everybody.

It is now officially xmas in june on the east coast!!!!
I'm so excited.

Thursday, June 24, 2004

merry xmas in june... cover your ears!!

(to appease jonnie and boz, and apologies to the rest of my awesome blog mates) :P
this is an audio post - click to play

Until My Gift Arrives

I'll be moping down in the bombshelter.

Let me know when the mail comes.


Two people have yet to receive their xmas in june packages.

I wouldn't be mentioning it, but one of them is me.
Oh yeah, the other one is Jonnie.
Does anyone remember that Shirley Jackson short story called The Lottery?
Jonnie, let's you and me start looking for some stones.

Real World Googlism, the highlights ...

real world is a joke
real world is overated
real world is around the corner
real world is infinitely complex
real world is the real real world
real world is available free online
real world is taking on sin city
real world is competitive
real world is scary
real world is competitive
real world is scary
real world is the solution
real world is just the place to do it
real world is messy
real world is faker than wrestling
real world is hazardous to your health
real world is way trashy
real world is not unlike speaking of a deceased person
real world is cruel
real world is attractive and colourful
real world is your favorite? why? you must be a member to post your comments
real world is chock full of rock
real world is an earth destroyed by massive wars and pollution
real world is very murky and ambiguous
real world is noisy
real world is not like this
real world is unstable
real world is vague and assigning rigid values to linguistic variables means that some of the meaning and semantic value is invariably lost


Ok so i folded under pressure and I opened my gift, but in my defense it was not my fault since the Jonnie included some device that talked to me every time I walked by. It siad "Hey Marci I need to be opened right now" so it is Jonnie's fault. I will hold off putting pictures of me playing with all my goodies, but I just want to say that he did a good job. He even has my back on certain pregnancy concearns, or maybe he is just smart enough to know that it would be very bad if I was to ever have a kid, either way I love Christmas in June.

Maybe we should do Kwanza in August. That might be fun.

Also, I want to expand on the name of car question. I have a friend that named her genitalia and I found that nuts, is this normal practice?

Corpse flower

I know everyone is busy with Christmas in June, but shouldn't we plan some sort of festivity to mark the blooming of the corpse flower? Shouldn't we dance around nekkid or something? It is a momentous occasion, after all....

I thought it was time to put up the xmas in june tree

Lovely, isn't it.

I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it

Hohoho everybody! Is it X-Mas in June already? I mean, X-Mas eve? Damn, I'm not too sure about american X-Mas traditions... is it that you celebrate on the 24th and open the gifts on the 25th?

Well, the german tradition is to open the boxes on the 24th, so it's perfectly legitimate if I open mine today, right, right, RIGHT?!?!
Damn, I'm so curious!

I mean, dvl got my name, so the gifts just have to be purrrfect.

And awww, Jonnie's singing got me in such a festive mood, I had to decorate my computer:

I'm excited.
Somebody pass the eggnog please?

I just stumbled upon another new group blog.

It's called Dear Susan - The Universal Scapegoat of Blogs and two of it's members are a couple of my favorites The Dynamite Diva and Nedra Zeall.
It is very funny.

Wednesday, June 23, 2004

ever wonder....

... just what thoughts are going through someone's head when they're engaging in naughty business in chat and there's a lull in the conversation?

"crap, i cant find the 'oh my god, i need to fuck her right now' smiley!!"

Re/ Honey Car and PK

So I says to myself, I says, "Self? I wonder if it is common for people to give their cars a name. You know what, self? I'll ask the good folks at RW...BS."
The question is: does your car have a name? If so, what? If not, why not?

xmas in june week updates

Dvl is organizing a video chat to celebrate xmas in june, you need not have a webcam to participate.

Everyone is encouraged to do an audiopost of their favorite xmas in june carol, though I doubt anyone could top Jonnie in sheer chutzpah

So far belle, dvl, marci and lisa have received their presents, and as expected both belle and lisa have already opened theirs. Leave a comment if you have received yours.

Also, Nancy has suggested to rosa that being the two newest house members that they might exchange xmas in early july presents. I don't know how that is progressing.

That's all I've got.

Thought du jour

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." - The Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

le sigh!

Am feeling down today, definately in need of a little pampering, anyone up for giving me a manicure? Would love some of those massive square acrylic ones that the hoochie mammas have, in bright red or gold or something. Tried getting false nails once, they fell of a few days later, it would seem that i have nails that are too narrow to support the falsie blah blah.. i can tell youre all enthralled! Mebbe i could get a massage, or body wrap? lets make a real world spa.. ooh! ooh! (patent pending!) If youre interested in seeing more of me, visit my blog to get a nice picture of my pus... kitty!

Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Purloined redux

purloined from jonnie, who pinched it from goose, who stole it from....



this is an audio post - click to play


Attention: SANDRA!

Before Jonnie kills me (re/ the earthquakes in Cali) need to know that all those little boxes on the map mean not a whole lot except to seismographs. You can't FEEL them. Trust me on this. I lived here for three years before I felt one. I think you can survive a visit without much trouble. But I am sure that Jonnie will make the earth move for you....:-)

Monday, June 21, 2004

Hey, there's a new group blog in town.

Does anybody look familiar?

Good luck!!!

Attention JONNIE!!!!

After I read your post I walked my happy a** to the office and without explaining my case looking all around the office and i said:
"Who in here goes by the name of Matthews!!!!"
Well,the one lonely woman in there, looked a bit scared since I was talking to empty closets and couches. She had the look that I am so used to getting, you know the one that screams "HOLY SH*T THIS GIRL IS CRAZY, I better not make any sudden movements".

She said her name was Matthews, but she generally goes by Latrice. So I said "Suuuuurrrrrre you do, and I bet now you are going to tell me you don't steal Christmas gifts, right LATRICE MATTHEWS". I even threw in the best roll of crazy eyes I could do but it turned out a bit more Zoolander than I would have liked. She was confused since, you know, it is June, and pointed to a pile of gifts on the floor. Turns out that Mattews/Latrice was stealing gifts from EVERYONE in my apartment complex. I snatched up my gift and looked at her with "warning eyes", the kind that put the fear of god in her. I think this is definitely the last time she will try to steal my presents.

So moral of the story, I got my gift... I will wait for Christmas to open it though. If i can, self control has never been my strong suit.

Now excuse me... I have to write a letter to put on all 100 apartments about the evil that is happening in the front office.


Main Entry: hai·ku
Pronunciation: 'hI-(")kü
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural haiku
Etymology: Japanese
: an unrhymed verse form of Japanese origin having three lines containing usually 5, 7, and 5 syllables respectively; also : a poem in this form usually having a seasonal reference -- compare TANKA

Outwardly, summer
inside, winter's chilly blast
a war of seasons

Hell YEAH! Take THAT!

I Have Arrived

Greetings, all! Where shall I unpack? Do I have to room with Boz???

Attention Marci !!!

I called UPS and your Xmas in June package was delivered on June 11 at 3:08pm.

It was left at the front desk and signed for by somebody named "Mathews".

Follow up on those leads!

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Belle is evil

While I was away from keyboard belle hypnotised Jonnie into letting her open her xmas in june present.

Sunday, June 20, 2004

macaroni and tease

Well.. ive got to say, these digs are none too shabby! Im sorry i missed out on the hot tub last night, its just that i had forgotten my swimsuit! But its ok.. crisis over, Ive managed to rumage around my "teacher bag" and found some material out of which ive made myself a swimsuit. Thats right kids.. the macaroni bikini! So stick around tonight and its all go! I just hope the water doesnt get too hot.

Big happenings in the real world ... blogger style yesterday

We have two new members.
Rosa Posa who has already arrived and Nancy who just needs to reply to her invitation.

Belle has already received her xmas in june package and claims that she hasn't opened it yet. Of course she works in a hospital so she has probably x-rayed it, c-scanned it, mri-d it and ultra sounded it.

Marci has yet to receive her present that was sent by UPS two weeks ago. Hopefully that will be straightened out, but just in case I have submitted marci's name to Toys For Tots, because no grad student should wake up to an empty xmas in june tree on xmas in june morning.

Big doings in the Hot Tub last night.
Jonnie, Belle, Marci and her friend Melanie, dvl, and our special guess hot tubber MadMands all showed up, and NO we didn't talk about you, well ok, yeah we probably did, but what happens in the tub, stays in the tub. So suck it.
Oh yeah, Jonnie wanted me to apologize for him and to tell Mands that he is sorry about that one incident last night and he fully intends to replace the panties that he chewed on.

That's it.

Saturday, June 19, 2004


so... *silence*

who's in for pyjama pillow fights and braiding each others hair?

ive brought beer and a video!

Where am I?

Is that Leonard Nimoy?

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Damn, I hope today is her birthday, cause I don't want to feel like a jerk.


this is an audio post - click to play

Friday, June 18, 2004

I may be crazy, well yeah, that's pretty much a given

but I'm pretty sure a certain house member has a birthday tomorrow, with tomorrow being Saturday the 19th.
Any guesses on whom it might be???
I'll give you a little hint ...
She lives in Utah.

through the craftiness of Boz.....

this is an audio post - click to play

A few of you have suggested that

we accept a couple of new members after the xmas in june gift exchange.
It sounds like a good idea to me.

Jonnie made a good point. No, really he did. (see comments)
So if you want to make a post on your blog asking if anyone is interested in becoming a member they should get in touch with one of us.

Thursday, June 17, 2004

Xmas in June, just a gentle reminder.

I am confident that everyone has taken care of their obligations for the xmas in june gift exchange. This is just a reminder that you should be getting the package in the mail in the next day or two. I would hate for anyone to wake up xmas in june morning to find nothing under their xmas in june tree.
If you have run into any unforeseen problems please get in touch with me.
this is an audio post - click to play

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

It Wasn't Me, It Was The Dead Frog Toying With Your Emotions

Contrary to popular belief, I do have a conscience and it wouldn't let me go to sleep tonight with out first admitting it was me who put the jello in Mad's bed while he was gone and apologizing to Jonnie for being a criminal mastermind and an evil, evil person who talks about dead frogs, guns, priests, and non-existent uncles he reminds me of.
Please forgive me.

Tuesday, June 15, 2004


You're getting sleeeeeepyyyy....
Jonnie is HOT....
You want to give him pie and burritos and beer...
And blowjobs....
You won't remember reading this post...

(Did it work?)

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Even though I am really sick, no, I mean it, really really sick

I am driving down to Standish, which is 40 miles from here, to search for the elusive monkey mask of doom.
Ok, it isn't a mask of doom per se, unless of course I die!!!



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Monday, June 14, 2004

Who is this

fifth dentist we have all heard so much about?


School has started and I will be back in full force here. Because I have 3 hour breaks between classes and can't move my car without having to pay again I have missed you all. Anything I need to be filled in on from my lack of attention on the zonk board?

Other news... In class today we watch a thrilling video called "The Secret Life of the Brain" but that is not the point. The point is that PBS used the words...."the mothers sweet milk", and i almost vomited. THE END

Jonnie, you bastard

you gave me your cold!!!

Sunday, June 13, 2004

Cake and ice cream for all of you.

Of course it's left over from earlier today, but I didn't think you'd mind.
It's Reese's Peanut Butter Cup and, yeah, the ice cream is store brand, but so what.

Saturday, June 12, 2004

Happy Birthday, Boz!

Dear housemates, let's pretend for today admit that our big boz is one of the funniest and most creative persons alive and we are lucky to know him... .

And boz, you know what they say: men get better with age! Or wait, that was wine. Hmmm. Anyway, alles Liebe und Gute zum Geburtstag, Boz!

Thursday, June 10, 2004

Answer Me These Questions Three:

(aka. Thursday 3)

1. What was your favorite movie-going experience?

2. Which language do you wish you were fluent in that you are not already, and why?

3. Have you ever had a one-night stand?

(update: Andrew at NineMileDetour has summer-itis... all irregularly scheduled programming from his site has been suspended until further notice. feh!)

Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Jonnie & Belle's Urban Words of the Week, part 2

I would just like to preface this week's post by saying Thank You, Urban Dictionary! Without the intelligent, articulate definitions provided on your wonderful web page I might wander around saying inappropriate things, innocently asking people to go skiing with me or to come over for a tupperware party while unbeknownst to me I am asking them to, uhh, go skiing or have a tupperware party. Ok, I'd probably never ask anyone to come over for a tupperware party under any definition, but you get my point. Fine, pretend you get my point.

This week I have not one, but two words.

My first choice, The Telepathic Kid, I expected to be about Haley Joel Osment and dead people, and what do you know, it is, only you have to read between the lines to get the Haley Joel Osment part. Well, maybe it requires more making of lines than reading between lines, but it's there! Yeah, I don't know what I'm talking about anymore either!

My second choice is one for which I contributed a definition! See if you can guess which one I wrote. I'll give you a hint, it's the sixth (sense...aaarrggghhhh, there's Haley Joel again!!) one. The word is YaYa.

This weeks caption a pic

Caption this pic ... or else!!!




south dakota?

seriously. south dakota? anyhow, that's where i'll be for the next week or so. maybe if i'm lucky, i'll come back with some new terms for the urban dictionary. like buffalo stampede. or teepee talk. gimmie a break, it's south dakota for crying out loud.


this is an audio post - click to play


Jonnie & Belle's Urban Words of the Week, part 1

My Urban Dictionary term isn't fancy at all this week.
And it is not subtle, like "skiing" was.

It is blunt.
It is Molotav Crap Bomb

It sounds like lots of fun!

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this is an audio post - click to play

Dog owners beware.

This dude means business ... dude.

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

Oh yeah,

I posted nine new pictures from my afternoon bike ride in my buzznet photo album.
You can check them out ... HERE!!!

A perfectly innocent

picture of DVL relaxing by working a crossword puzzle.

Innocent until ...

Just another instance of DVL's subliminal mind control.

Monday, June 07, 2004

His & Her Lawn Mowers

Look what I found (circa mid-1960s) -

They used to manufacture male and female lawn mower models!
I didn't think wives mowed the lawn in those days.

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Sunday, June 06, 2004

Move Over Sofia Coppola...

May I present to you my very first feature film,

Boz and YaYa.

I've submitted it to The Sundance Film Festival and I'm pretty sure it's only a matter of time before Martin Sheen hears about my innate talent and whisks me away to a remote island to make "private" movies with him.

Saturday, June 05, 2004

The continuing saga of ...

The Return of YaYa.
Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
And as always ...
Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter in our continuing saga of
The Return of YaYa!!!

Back from the Midwest

I'm back, is there anything to eat, like cake?

Did some plowing for old times sake.

OH, here's something interesting -
At the Indiana State Park, my Aunt pointed out this sign -

She told me it's where the Amish go to meet.

Thanks to Boz and Belle, it had a whole different connotation though, like it was the Amish make-out spot. So I made her stop so I could take a picture. I didn't actually venture down the trail though, 'cause I imagined all sorts of goings on that I'm sure had no basis in reality whatsoever.

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Friday, June 04, 2004

I Spy - Topic: CURVES

This week I challenge you to take pics of things with curves or that are curved.

As always, the only requirement is to have fun... including yourself in the pic is encouraged but not required.

Post your photo to the Buzznet photoblog by Monday, June 7, 2004.

I don't believe it.

They are selling Gmail accounts on eBay, and people are bidding on them!
If anyone in the house wants an account let me know I have a couple of invites.

Thursday, June 03, 2004

Answer Me These Questions Three:

(aka. Thursday 3)

1. Elvis or The Beatles?

2. Vampires or Werewolves?

3. Playboy or Penthouse?

(i guess i am back in good graces, so thanks goes to Andrew at NineMileDetour for doing my homework today... feel free to go to his site and nag at him to update)

Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Write a caption for this pic

This weeks pic ...

Tuesday, June 01, 2004

Check this out

Make an icon in your own image, ok, close to your own image.

Portrait Illustration Maker.


The 30 seconds, re-enacted by bunnies.

Back from the frozen tundra of alaska!

Answer Me These Questions Three:

(aka. Thursday 3)

1. When is the best time to do things?

2. Who is the most important one?

3. What is the right thing to do?

hint: first go as your friends the heron, the monkey, and the dog before seeking out the assistance of the wise old turtle to show you what's right in front of your face...
"Remember then that there is only one important time, and that time is now. The most important one is always the one you are with. And the most important thing is to do good for the one who is standing by your side....This is why we are here."
(these questions were purloined from the children’s book “The Three Questions” by Leo Tolstoy)

It's Tuesday

somebody needs to make a post.