The Real World ... Blogger Style: 07/01/2007 - 08/01/2007

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

T-Shirt Exchange, Summer '07 - The Other Side

Contents included
1. 2 t-shirts, one that read Hecho en Mexico(Made in Mexico)while the other read FBI, Female Body Inspector. I am currently wearing the Hecho en Mexico t-shirt, and will wear the other one tomorrow.
2. Jonnie's Rebel Leady Helmet, which is tremendous, but I only wish he would have autographed it.
3. An auto heat travel mug for keeping your coffee hot while driving, but since I don't drink coffee I'll use it to make soup ... wait, I could keep soup warm in it!!!
4. A shell necklace. I'd call it a puka shell necklace, but I think it's more a generic shell necklace.
5. A Science Diet key chain.
6. An evidence tag.
7. A refrigerator magnet.
8. An invitation to a seminar that will teach you how to get on the Oprah Winfrey show.

Thanks a lot Jonnie and Sandra
To coin a phrase ...
This was the greatest T-Shirt Exchange ever.

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Sunday, July 29, 2007

Friday Night Bowling Video (Twitter for movies)

You will be amazed how short this video clip is -

This is the shortest video I ever took. I mistakenly thought I was clicking to take a photo of me and Sandra's bowling companions, but I unknowingly had the camera set to record a video, so this video is exactly the length of time (a fraction of a second) it took me to wonder why the flash didn't go off and then to click again as a second attempt to take the photo (which shut off the video recorder).

I have a similar mini-movie of Sandra after the same fashion, but I don't think I have her approval to post it.

This is like Twitter for movies.

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Friday, July 27, 2007

T-Shirt Exchange, Summer '07

Boz's latest shipment was a marvel of packing. In my nearly two years working in a shipping department, I never saw a $4.95 flat rate envelope stuffed half as full as this one was. It really makes you appreciate the value of tape.

The envelope contents covered nearly half of our new red leather couch -

Sandra received a fine Germany World Cup t-shirt and I received a fine Miller Genuiine Draft "Rock & Peace" festival t-shirt which is now what I always wear out to the pool.

But, while most people would think the flat-rate priority envelope was full after stuffing it with 2 t-shirts, Boz did not hesitate to double the contents by including a makeup bag, a deck of cards with $100 bills printed on the back, a small computer mouse, palm tree stickers, 2 toothbrushes which contain flashing red lights, 5 mexican drink mixes (which remind us of our dear Santa Ana), the East Tawas Business Directory, and a handful of Sour Power candy strips (which I am addicted to).

Danke Boz - this was a packing achievement that only somebody who has worked in a shipping department for nearly 2 years can appreciate.

The normally thin priority flat rate envelope would not even fit in our mailbox. It was waiting by the door when we came home. I can't believe it didn't burst.

This was the greatest T-Shirt Exchange ever.

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Wednesday, July 25, 2007


Twenty COOL, and FREE, downloads from PCWorld.

I haven't tried any of them, but a few of them look pretty good.

My First Evening of Cable

The best part of living in the shed in my friend Gina's backyard when I first came to California in 2000, was that I had cable.

Since then, I've had other things to worry about and watching TV has been way down at the bottom of my list of priorities.

However, now that Sandra and I have installed cable, I realize I forgot all about how great it is.

So I would like to record my first evening of cable viewing -

Monday July 23

I came home from work about 5:15pm and, even though cable was installed, jumping in the swimming pool easily took priority.

Soon after Sandra and I waded into the pool, we were joined by 3 ducks. I tried to befriend them, but they all ran away from me in single file. Sandra was able to interact with them a lot better than I was.

After our swim, we dined on a Trader Joes cuban chicken cha cha cha recipe which was delicious.

Then the cable viewing began:

1. The Soup on E!
I haven't seen Talk Soup in years and years. Since they had that skinny little guy on there. It's still a great show. The best of the best.

By watching The Soup, we learned about Poison front man Bret Michael's new reality show, so we watched that next.

2. Bret Michael's Reality Show.
I forget what this is called. Rock of Ages. Love on the Rocks. Something not very memorable. Bret Michaels is no Flava Flav in terms of charisma or entertainment value, but drunken skanks are always fine to watch and I enjoyed this show immensely, but not nearly as much as Flava of Love which we recently watched on DVD.

3. Daily Show and The Colbert Report.
I haven't seen the Daily Show since before Jon Stewart took it over, but of course I heard all about it because it's since become a cultural phenomenon. I thought it was ok. I have the sense that Daily Show's best years are behind it though. The Colbert Report, on the other hand, was out of this world. That guy cracks me up. Love it. I'd heard all about his talk to the White House Press Corps., so his reputation preceded him and I was not disappointed.

4. Hell's Kitchen.
Had to go back to network TV to catch the latest installment of this show. Chef Gordon Ramsay never fails to entertain and he called his cooks "donkeys" again. I love when he does that.

5. Most Embarrassing Moments 2 on VH1.
Again, great trash TV. An hour seemed like 10 minutes plus commercials.

On Tuesday, I worked an evening shift, so didn't get in much TV viewing, but Sandra and I did manage to check out Ice Roads on the History Channel. That was awesome. We love stuff like that.

In conclusion, I think the first night of cable viewing plus Ice Roads is worth the monthly cable cost already. The rest of the month's viewing will all be like a bonus.

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Tuesday, July 24, 2007

More Simpsons!

If you created an avatar at, they said you may find yourself in the site.
Look where the hell I showed up...

Sunday, July 22, 2007

I mangaged to cram it all in.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Death in Tahiti

With the next t-shirt exchange coming up, I thought I'd post a photo of the fantastic drink coasters which Boz sent in his last package.

Here they are with some juice [in the background is sushi and soybeans which go very well with sushi and which are a current favorite snack of ours] -

Flashy drink coasters courtesy of Boz.

Danke Boz - they're gonna be getting a lot of use at our new place.

Regarding the new apartment - it is now furnished. We are seeking additional decoration ideas which fit into what can only be called a "Death in Tahiti" motif (meaning skulls, palm trees, beach scenes, tools of violence, tiki stuff etc.) I was going to buy a hula girl lamp to adorn one of our stark black end tables last weekend, but it didn't look as cool as I remembered it.

Anyway, if you notice any cool artwork (preferable paint on canvas) which would fit in with a "Death in Tahiti" theme, please bring it to our attention. That is what we are into as we begin our decorating phase.

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Wednesday, July 18, 2007

a juan bodley quiz...

(Since boz did his I thought I'd test you all to see if you know ANYTHING about me...)

1. Which eye is real?
2. What year did I graduate from technical school, and where was it?
3. Did I ever own a car other than a GM brand?
4. Who is my favorite Cincinnati Red?
5. When I am working on a well, I have a different name than Juan Bodley. What is it?
6. Did RLB and myself graduate in the same year?
7. RLB and I used to go to this 18 and over nudie bar in Fort Wayne. What was it called?
8. Which racing series do I follow more closely: NASCAR or IndyCar?
9. How many artificial eyes have I had since 1971?
10. If I were a Metallica song what one would I be?

Bonus question: Have I ever broken a TV, AM, or FM transmitter on purpose, and where was it?

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

One Sentence

We haven't had a house assignment in awhile, so why doesn't everybody post a sentence over at One Sentence?


The Gilli0ms Simpsons

Rebel Leady Simpson -

Maybe some more gut would be appropriate.

Sandra Simpson -

They didn't have a Betty Page hair-do, so I went with the classic Marge.

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The things we do

Kaiser, my pet cauliflower.

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Monday, July 16, 2007

Chef Juan Bodley Cooks For Youse...

Last night I made a new sensation that may appear soon at IHOP/Applebee's. (Yes IHOP is trying to buy Applebee's, I shit you not.)
It's called "Detweiler Chicken." Here's how it's done.
1. Get any kind of chicken breast. (remember I'm a guy, and I chuckle handling almost ANY kind of breast.) Then while you're at the store get some Worchestershire sauce.
2. Go home.
3. Put a skillet on the stove, heat that bitch up, put some extra virgin olive oil in there (yes I laugh lustily handling something virgin,) and then you throw that chicken breast in there, and slather on the Worchestershire till you puke.
4. Here's the Detweiler part: every time you flip the chick, holler "WORCHESTERSHIRE" as loud as you fucking can!!
(Oh yeah, you say it "WAR-Chester-shire!!" because Jonnie likes to say it that way.)

Serve with your favorite potato and a fine Schlitz, and that's a dinner to remember.

JuanBodley's Simpsons Avatar

I didn't look at Boz's before I began...

Boz are you my real dad??

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Ten things I did on Friday the 13th.

1. I bought a new toilet seat.
2. I limped all day after a four mile walk, and I'm still limping a little, and it's not a muscle or anything like that, it's the heel in my left foot, so maybe I should change my nickname from Boz to Achilles.
3. I ate a chocolate dipped ice cream cone from McDonalds, and felt shame because it wasn't the BK, but the BK doesn't serve ice cream, so screw them.
4. I slept a lot, no wait, it was today that I slept a lot, or is it alot?
5. I bought two cans of asparagus even though Babe Ruth said it made his urine smell.
6. I got funny looks from people I passed during my walk because I was singing along with Suzanne Vega while listening to My Name is Luca on my Zune in a high falsetto voice.
7. I sacrificed the neighbor's cat to appease the Lord of Darkness
8. I smelled that funny smell in my clothes closet that I get every year at about this time which is probably coming from a dead animal in the crawl space under the house and not directly from my closet, at least I hope it's not directly from my closet.
9. I bought more disposable razors than I will ever be able to use in this lifetime.
10. I watched The Wicker Man on cable and it is probably one of the worst movies that I have ever seen that wasn't intentionally trying to be one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and yeah, it was one of those it's so bad it's good, well maybe not good but at least entertaining movies I have ever seen, and I'm sure if the funniest part was when Nicholas Cage pulled out his gun and ordered the school teacher to step away from the bicycle or when Nicholas Cage was running through the woods in a bear costume and he stopped to sucker punch a woman who was just sort of standing there doing her job.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Overheard on a re-run of M*A*S*H*

Hawkeye: Frank, what's your hometown?
Frank Burns: Fort Wayne Indiana
Hawkeye: I've heard Fort Wayne is the Brussels of the midwest.
Frank Burns: Oh, shut up!

Monday, July 09, 2007

Simpson avatar

Arnold Palmer

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Sunday, July 08, 2007

A boz quiz

1. Within two years, how many years ago did I quit smoking?
2. Who was president when I was born?
3. Who was president when I enlisted in the air force?
4. Who did I vote for in my first presidential election?
5. How many computers have I owned?
6. What city was I born in?
7. What was the name of the band I formed in high school?
8. If I were a Bob Dylan song which song would I be?
9. Have I ever worn a blanket over my head in public?
10. Who was my favorite group of super heroes?

Friday, July 06, 2007

Shriner Yearbook Sample

A few months ago, when I received my golden elf shoes and three fully adorned Shriner fezes (with travel cases!) from eBay, the package also included two yearbooks which belonged to that particular regional enclave of Shriners. The yearbooks are pretty fascinating as they contain page after page of local Shriners pictured with their wives (when applicable). Additionally, the books contain a lot of information about the group's public works and events including photos of Shriner parade floats.

At any rate, I thought it was high time to share a page of one of the Shriner yearbooks:

[ Click to view larger image. ]

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Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Even Better (For The Men, That Is...)

I'll take the one on the left, Boz, you get the one on the right.
Then AmyJo, dvl, Sandra, and belle, you need to find friends and recreate this pic just for the entertainment value. (And I'll bet you can get these bikinis cheap now that the 4th is past.) Juan Bodley, your bargain shopper and resident perv...

Got Pyro??

(Yeah this is from Memorial Day '83, but dammit it works!!)
Raise 'em up there let's see who salutes, bitches!!!!
Kill em all, let Juan Bodley sort em out!!!!!!

Sunday, July 01, 2007


Either or Or
1. Vista or XP
2. Standing up or sitting down
3. Over 200 or under 200
4. Foreign or Domestic
5. Blood or water
6. Cable or dish
7. Black or white
8. Lennon or McCartney
9. Lenin or Trotsky
10. Linen or satin
11. Lyndon or Milhouse
12. Lydon or Vicious
13. Lemon or lime

RW...Chocolate Style!