The Real World ... Blogger Style: 12/01/2006 - 01/01/2007

Saturday, December 30, 2006

A New Year's Offering...

2006, we hardly knew ye
But we killed Saddam so we say screw ya
Jerry Ford is dead and gone
Edsel Ford still carries on
If ya drive a Chevy do you even care
If you're Chevy Chase are you still out there?
Bozzie and Jonnie and Sandra and Stanley Wood
belle chases the monkeys from the neighborhood
(And Fred Rogers cries here...)
And DVL is out there, and Malone is too
And AmyJo is chanting until 2
And Juan Bodley, well, let's forget about him...
(Wonder if Boz regrets letting him in??)
Greet 2-0-0-7 with a Faygo in hand
(Or Grapette if they don't have Redpop where you stand)
And salute the world with the middle finger
Then go out to the driveway and let your finger linger
For we all need to kick this world in the ass
Now excuse me chums I've got to nail this fine lass...


Faithfully submitted by Juan Bodley...
adieu to you 2006...what a bitch she was!!!

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Li'l Abner, starring Jonnie Gilliom as Li'l Abner

I found this at the Dollar Tree today.







The resemblance is frightening.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Cookie and Stanley Wood sitting in a tree ...

Did my last xmas gift arrive today?

Is this stuff any good?



Maybe Jonnie and I can have the first annual ...
"Trade The Crappiest Xmas Gift I Got For Xmas For The Crappiest Xmas Gift You Got For Xmas Gift Exchange"

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Cookie, my niece's diluted torti

Or is that ...
Cookie, my niece's deluded torti.











Right click for larger pic.

Hey, do the Boz, yeah

It's the dance sensation that's sweeping the nation.



Monday, December 25, 2006

A Xmas Tribute To The Late Great Hardest Working Man In Show Business

Ladies and gentlemen the Real World ... Blogger Style proudly presents Mr. James Brown !!!



Funky Christmas
Santa Claus Go Straight To The Ghetto
(Right click and open in new window)

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Merry Christmas from ...

The Velcro Monkey of Doom



The Kinks

And me.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Rupert y Lupita

It's about this time of year when I like to break out my copy of the lost Christmas classic, The Great Rupert; which Boz mailed to me on DVD last year. Read all about The Great Rupert in my DVD synopsis located right here. Relive the magic.

Not as magical is the Mexican
Santa Claus movie, which Boz sent me as well.

Least magical of all is The Doors: The Soft Parade, A Retrospective.

Merry Christmas from Little Lupita -


Little Lupita.

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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Cool Baby

Proudly wearing my Xmas Clearance T-shirt Exchange t-shirt.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

A little anecdotal information concerning the t-shirt exchange package I received today

The Xmas Clearance T-shirt Exchange ... Boz gets his stuff!

Boz opens his package in full stereo.
Click to listen.


The T-shirt



The Penis Plaque



The Supplemental Material

Monday, December 18, 2006

Ikkyu: Zen master, whore master



Ikkyu was a 13th century Zen monk. He was renowned for his licentiousness, his libidinousness, his propensity for bibbling sake, and for flouting monastic conventions. He was enlightened at the age of 27 when he heard a crow caw as he rode in a boat on lake Biwa (I think). His nicknames were "Crazy Cloud" and "Crow with No Mouth". At 60 he fell in love with Blind Mori, a courtesan. He wandered around carrying a human skull which he flourished at every opportunity, reminding people of the evanescence of human existence.

Here are a few of his poems:

don't hesitate
get laid
that's wisdom.
Sitting around chanting--what crap!

and:
sick of it, whatever it's called
sick of names
I dedicate every pore to what's here.

and:
all the bad things I do will go up in smoke
and so will I.

(also, please note, the brown bib thing he is wearing around his neck is a rakasu--a miniature buddha robe. I am sewing one at the moment.)

If it's Monday it must be Pizza Day

Hungry Howie's, the home of the large one item pizza for $4.99, but it's only $4.99 on Monday's, and that's why if it's Monday it must be Pizza Day.



You also get your choice of flavored crust. Today I selected butter crust, not to be confused with butter cheese crust, which the employee's of Hungry Howie's frequently do confuse with butter crust.
It was very good, but if you choose either of the butter crusts be sure to grab plenty of napkins.
The $4.99 special is good for both the dining room and take out, and there is no limit to the number of $4.99 pizzas you may purchase.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Boz's New Favorite T-Shirt

Ho, ho, ho

Show me your Xmas spirit.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

My new favorite Dvl picture

Dvl Scissorhands

Things to do when you haven't got anything else to do

Friday, December 15, 2006

My new favorite xmas song

Merry Christmas From The Family
Robert Earl Keen


Listen and sing along

Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk
At our Christmas party
We were drinkin' champagne punch
And homemade eggnog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn't know what to think of him
'Til he sang Feliz Navidad
Feliz Navidad

Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins
>From his second wife MaryNell
Of course he brought his new wife Kaye
Who talks all about AA
Chain smokin' while the stero plays
Noel, Noel, The first Noel

Carve the turkey turn the ball game on
Mix Margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
We need some ice and an extention cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Fran and Rita drove from Harlingen
I can't remember how I'm kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motorhome in
They blew our christmas lights
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we all waited on our front lawn
He threw the breaker and the lights came on
And we sang Silent Night
Oh Silent Night

Carve the turkey turn the ballgame on
Make Bloody Marys cause we all want one
Send somebody to the Stop 'n Go
We need some celery and a can of fake snow
A bag of lemons and some Dite Sprite
A box of tampons and some Salem Lights
Hallelujah everybody say cheese
Merry Christmas from the family

Feliz Navidad.

Boz buys his own Xmas Clearance T-Shirt just to make Jonnie jealous

Of course, this doesn't relieve Jonnie of his Xmas Clearance T-shirt Exchange commitment.



OCC RULZ!!!
Yeah, I know that it's Orange County, New York, not Orange County California, but I don't think Jonnie knows it.
Since Jonnie and Sandra don't have cable television they also probably don't know that Orange County Choppers is a reality show on Discovery, or A&E, or one of those other cable channels.

My conversation with Jonnie

Thursday, December 14, 2006

My homepage word of the day

DUDGEON
Definition:
angry indignation
Example:
No one could blame Jenn for her DUDGEON, as she had truly been mistreated ...
or
No one could blame Boz for his DUDGEON, as he had truly been screwed in the Xmas Clearance T-shirt Gift Exchange.
Synonyms:
umbrage, pique

RW...BS - A Real Olla Podrida

While browsing through a selection of library reference tools yesterday, I found Dictionary.com's "word of the day" email list, which I joined for the novelty value.

Today I received my first Dictionary.com word-of-the-day, which is:

olla podrida \ol-uh-puh-DREE-duh; oy-uh-\, noun;
plural olla podridas /-DREE-duhz/ or ollas podridas:

1. A stew of highly seasoned meat and vegetables.
2. A mixture; a hodgepodge.

This complex, Byzantine, at times long-winded work, which spent more than 60 weeks on Spain's best sellers list, throws together mystery, romance, and crime into one big mix like an olla podrida.
-- Lawrence Olszewski, review of The Shadow of the Wind, by Carlos Ruiz Zafon, Library Journal, February 1, 2004


I propose that all RW...BS blog members subscribe to Dictionary.com's Word-of-the-Day email list and whenever they are posting something, try to include the word of the day in some capacity.

I think that might make us seem clever.

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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Juan Bodley On Dirt!!


(I've made a correction...The Motorplex is in LaOtto, NOT Avilla...what made me think of Avilla???)

Last Friday my nephew Alex celebrated his 12th b-day with some of his best buds (and me) at the Motoplex in LaOtto IN. It's a motocross center with an indoor track and an outdoor one as well. The boys all brought their BMX bikes and really laid down the 20" knobby thunder. Then the owner (a neighbor to Alex and his parents) brought out a 90cc quad for the boys (and the adults too) to take some laps.

I represented the one-eyed racers damn fine!!!

Saddle up bitches!!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Long Live Evil Skull

While this is not the most flattering photograph of me, I think we can all agree that the t-shirt is outstanding -


Evil Skull.

The first annual Christmas Clearance T-Shirt Exchange is certainly a success on this end - Danke Boz!

I really wasn't expecting such a high quality shirt. I can't believe anybody would stick that on a clearance rack. I bet it was a mistake. The shirt is appropriate for both me and Sandra as well as Stanley Wood.

In my right hand are assorted Halloween bendies (1 large and small Dracula + 1 large and small Frankenstein monster wearing a purple suit) which were included along with gummie worms (which Boz actually ate before mailing).

In my left hand is a fine selection of contemporary popular music for Sandra since she is MTV deprived. The Electric Six CD is great for driving and has replaced my James Brown CD. Track 12, Germans in Mexico, and track 2, I Buy the Drugs are particularly notable.

I consider the first annual Christmas Clearance T-Shirt Exchange an absolute success, even though Boz has yet to receive his package.

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Monday, December 11, 2006

Yonder at the Gulch

The practice period ends tomorrow.

Here are some photos.

The zendo decorated with the fruits of our labors, Thanksgiving.



Gisli (Icelandic buddy) on his birthday at the beach. The braids are fake.



Apples from the apple tree I climbed to pick. Note the little cottage on top of the mountain.


Cloud Hall dormitory and torture chamber.

Santa RLB!!


Santa Jonnie offers you an Xmas surprise!!!

Now go stuff your stocking!!!

Friday, December 08, 2006

Only Jonnie Will Find This Funny...

First you need to read this and then you'll see why Jonnie and I can see this as funny.

BTW: send all old magazines to RLB and he'll put a meaningful quote on it and send it back to you postage due. Or he'll drop it at the nearest drive-thru...

A cat, a mouse, and a rabbi walk into a bar

This is either the funniest, saddest, or most manipulative Xmas song ever recorded.
The Cat Carol

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

10 8 Things About Boz's T-Shirt Exchange Package from Jonnie

1. Since the T-Shirt cost less than the agreed upon $5 amount, a supplemental gift was added.

2. The supplemental gift was purchased at a 50% off sale from a local adult establishment and cost $1.50, bringing the total gift value almost exactly to the agreed upon $5 value.

3. Boz's gift t-shirt was purchased on a "3 for $10" rack. The other two shirts we bought were a badass black Santa Ana t-shirt for Jonnie and a lovely black Los Angeles t-shirt for Sandra to wear to Kwando class.

4. Boz's gift package is nearly bursting, not with flavor, but with supplemental materials collected in the community of Santa Ana.

5. Among the supplemental materials is a copy of a free Mexican newspaper called "The Voz", which is pronounced "The Boz" by Mexicans.

6. "Boz" in Spanish is "Voz".

7. "Thyme" in Spanish is "Tomillo".

8. Oh crap, I have to go to work.

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Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The Incredible Jonnie & Boz Clearance Xmas T-Shirt Exchange

Ten things about the T-shirt that Boz sent Jonnie.
1. It isn't black.
2. It isn't a Justin Timberlake, Gwen Stefani, or Fergie concert t-shirt.
3. No kittens were harmed in the making of this t-shirt.
4. Jonnie could wear it to work with his head held high.
5. He could also wear it to a punk rock wedding.
6. When cool people pass Jonnie on the street they will secretly admire his new t-shirt.
7. It would probably look better on Sandra.
8. It would probably look better on Stanley Wood.
9. Jonnie will be tempted to wear it with his camouflage boxer shorts but he shouldn't.
10. It will flatter Jonnie's man boobs.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Revised Sunset on Tawas Bay

Featuring JohnnyC and James "The Hardest Working Man in Show Business" Brown:

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Surprise Milestone

I was looking through my two year calendar this morning and I noticed that one year ago today was when I posted the "Which JohnnyC Quote Are You?" quiz.

I retook the quiz and I think I got the same result I did a year ago:


"The scorched earth,blackened by flames of tortured souls,
screams in agony for retribution
against the demons and vandals
who lit the match
with their blood stained fingers"


11 other people got this result!
This quiz has been taken 227 times.
5% of people had this result.

I think the JohnnyC quiz should be an annual Christmas tradition.
Please retake the Which JohnnyC Quote Are You? quiz today.

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Sunset on Tawas Bay



by Boz

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Final UPS Motivational Slogan of 2006

Well, it seemed like it would never end, but we made it to the final page of the free UPS motivational calendar which was given to me for free by our UPS man.

What a long strange trip it's been.

December's UPS Motivational Slogan:

Let's Tip Our Hats to Our Favorite Icons of Grace Under Pressure.

I guess this is the end of the series, unless I'm given a new calendar this year.

Who is your favorite icon of grace under pressure?

Mine is my UPS man.

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Friday, December 01, 2006

"American Legend" Solution

The American Legend is:

It Ain't No Drag
Papa's Got A Brand New Bag


Mr. James Brown!

The "Godfather of Soul" and the "Hardest Working Man in Show Business".

Get on the Good Foot.

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"American Legend" Contest

I've been driving around with the same CD playing in the car for at least 3 weeks. The CD is from an American Legends series. I greatly admire this artist, while Sandra is extremely annoyed by them and opts for the radio when she is riding with me.

Who is the artist?


Who is this American legend?

It is not Tom T. Hall, Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, or Roy Orbison.

The person who can identify this American Legend in 3 guesses or less will win a t-shirt from Ross Dress for Less.

I am going to work, please enter your guesses in the comments.
I will review your answers early this evening.
First person to guess correctly in 3 or fewer guesses wins.

If nobody guesses correctly, I will answer 3 questions about the American Legend and then all contestants will have 3 more guesses.

After my workout at the gym tonight, I will stop by Ross Dress for Less and choose a t-shirt.

Good luck and no cheating.

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Something to ponder

I am the only one who has noticed that AmyJo, despite her situation, is still the 4th biggest contributor to the RW ... BS?