The Real World ... Blogger Style: 05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Land Shark...


(Since AmyJo "left" me for some zen punks I felt I should reach out to the old guard/"new" member of the RW...BS by introducing myself and acquainting her with my wit and charm.)

I may be JohnnyC but in my own little world I'm Juan Bodley...I'm the king of the Cyclops realm...I drive a purple car but I'm hetero...I'm known in my town by the ladies as a total idiot.

Now you may be wondering why the Weinermobile pic is there; well, I'm using it as a reference for something...because I'm hung like that.

Glad to meet ya.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Guess who's back?

Whatnot...

The Indy 500 was EXCELLENT!! (I probably was the only one on this blog watching...that's OK, I'll carry the load for the rest of you.) Defiance OH was burning Sunday night...the winner is from there, and it's only about 25-30 minutes from Fort Wayne.

So today what is there to do? I'll tell ya: fix a leaning deck. (My sister Denise's house deck. It's only 7 years old; it shouldn't need this...I blame the Amish...) This thing was whopper-jawed, and we got it done!! We jacked it up, dug out the old pillar footings, poured new Quikcrete, got rained on twice, and now the holes are full of rainwater. Go figure. But that won't hurt a thing. Tomorrow we redo the steps, fill the holes back in, and away we go!!

On a personal note, let me say I'm upset with AmyJo for choosing the monks over me. I'm a man-whore but I would be willing to screw on her schedule. Monks??? What, do I smell bad?? Chanting over Master Of Puppets?? Where did this child get steered toward the holy??? Boz I blame you...

I must sleep now...after a shot and 3 bottles of Advil.
Adieu, my children. Peace to all and a piece for all.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

One BAD ASS turtle

On my patio this afternoon.

More from my RW ... BS Sunday hike

The rest of the pics.



Click on pic to go to the buzznet album.

My RW ... BS Sunday Hike

One of the rest stops on the hike down to Iargo Springs.



Iron Maiden Rulz!!!

June 10th - June 12th: Three Day RW ... BS Holiday Weekend

Saturday June 10th - Sandra leaves Germany and arrives in the states. Celebrate by eating German Chocolate Cake and eating Flamin' Hot Cheetos.
Sunday June 11th - The first anniversary of belle not posting on her blog. Celebrate by visiting her blog and leaving a comment.
Monday June 12th - My birthday. Celebrate by eating ham and ham by-products.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Aliens Love My Arse...

What Would Kerouac Do?

(besides marry somebody that looked like his mother)

Friday, May 26, 2006

Advance Preview

Just got home from work and found my advance copy of Content: Selected Blog Posts from Jonnie 7-11, my commemorative blog book, was waiting for me in the mail.



Looks pretty good, the photos all printed ok.
I'm gonna skim through it, then release it to the public soon if everything looks acceptable.

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this phenomenal world


Bye bloggers!

Have a great summer! Get laid in the arcade! And remember, leaves of three, do not pee! Just drop me a line if you want pine cones or rocks from Tassajara creek or for your name to be chanted during the full moon.

Just write to AmyJo
c/o Tassajara ZMC
39171 Tassajara Road
Carmel Valley, CA 93947

Thursday, May 25, 2006

A VH S-A-L-U-T-E!!!!


For the weekend that is coming, and for what it means....

For those who served, those who died, and those who society has forgotten.



"Raise 'em up there, let's see who salutes baby!!"

He's lost his mind and doesn't care...

As I post this (at 4:15 PM EDT) the Fort Wayne area is under some weather watches. When it gets bad we head to the local cable weather station that is run by the TV station I used to work for, WANE-TV, NewsChannel 15. What they have is the "Live 15 Doppler Radar Fury" (or as the engineering department used to call it: Lightning Rod On A Stick.)

While the radar image is displayed they air the NOAA Weather Radio audio from the National Weather Service office in North Webster, IN. They have a computer generated voice system so that an overnight warning or updates can be sent from a bigger office and it automatically gets broadcast. They call this voice "Perfect Paul."

What I want to see happen is this: The government has all of our money anyway, why can't they have the weather service voice be Keith Jackson's?? You know, the sports commentator who says "whoa Nellie!!" Can't you see a tornado warning being heeded if Ol' Keith says "that twister's comin' down on you like a big ol' Texas steer" or "look out for that line of hail droppin' like flies in the Oklahoma summertime?" It would change the way we look at weather.

I say get 'er done!!!!
Juan Bodley, off the pundit's soapbox and heading for the Jack Daniels now...

Back Home Again!!!


(For the uninformed, these cars are IRL cars (IRL: Indy Racing League.)) The top car is the polesitter, Sam Hornish, Jr., from nearby Defiance, OH. The bottom car is the man on the outside of the front row, Dan Wheldon, last year's race winner.

IRL cars are similiar to Champ Cars, but these are not turbo-charged, and nowhere near the same to a Formula One car (F1 cars are hand built by each team and most engines top out at 19,000RPM; IRL cars top out at just under 10,000RPM.)

And as for the rest of the world...I have not been "hunkered down" as Boz reported...except don't call me Sunday. There's the Indy 500, F1 is on (at the same time) from Monte Carlo, and then NASCAR runs that night from Charlotte for the Coke 600. I've been out working on yards and water lines, and trying to get rid of a bad cold. It's not gone yet but it's close. And, no, Jonnie, I didn't give up on Purple Viper, I've just been looking for a reason to go to Radio Shack. Ask her what that means.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

AmyJo Update

I guess most of you knew that AmyJo was leaving this weekend to spend the summer at a zen buddhist retreat called Tassajara in northern California.
I hadn't heard from her for a couple days and I figured she was just busy getting things set for the move.
Anyway, I got an email from her today and to quote her:

"I have poison oak so bad it hurts to sit down. My entire body is one weeping rash. I can't be away from the shower for more than an hour."

On top of that when she stopped for coffee on her way into work this morning her transmission gave out on her, it just completely died.

So, as it stands now, she has no car, no job, and the prospects are looking kind of dim on her even making it up to Tassajara, but what she is most worried about at the moment is her poison oak.


You all know how AmyJo is, so you know this has got to be driving her insane.

So, ah, good thoughts, good karma, good whatever, and I'll keep you updated.

The evil that is rosa posa posa posa

Ten things I hate about rosa posa's last post.

1. He looks like a junior high school gym teacher from the 80s.
2. He stole my name.
3. It screams my name is rosa posa and this is a pity post.
4. I'm pretty sure this is Chris Burke's estranged father.
5. It's obvious this guy is an American and it's rosa posa's way of spreading anti-Americanism throughout the free world.
6. The whole hair ensemble, including sideburns and mustache.
7. Leisure suit.
8. I bet this guy volunteered at the Christian Youth Camp and always had his Polaroid ready when his "guys" had swimming practice.
9. It's scaring people away from the zonkboard.
10. Look at his eyes, his eyes, he has no soul!

my request... TAKE IT OFF!

Quizzerly

I found this quiz on the hauntingly beautiful Chez Pink aka La Peaches My Space account.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (middle name and current street name)
Vance Tawas Lake

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: (grandfather/grandmother on your dad's side, your favorite candy)
Hiram Rolo

3. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME: (first initial of first name, first two or three letters of your last name)
K Col

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite animal, favorite color)
Dog Black

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
Vance Detroit

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)
Col Ell Che

7. JEDI NAME: (middle name spelled backwards, your mom's maiden name spelled backward)
Ecnav Llewdrac

8. PORN STAR NAME: (first pet, street you grew up on)
Lassie Quinkert

9. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The", your favorite color, the automobile you drive:
The Black Cobalt

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

What do I know?

Dvl - Her boss is now legal counsel for Girls Gone Wild, so that makes Dvl paralegal counsel for Girls Gone Wild, and I hope I get Dvl as my Secret Santa for the next XIJIFIW.
Belle - Has the bubonic plague which will hopefully either kill her or make her stronger for the Benson 48 hour marathon on TVLand in two weeks.
Jonnie - Is on the lookout for used tires with tread so that he will not slip slide his way to the John Wayne Airport when he picks up the hauntingly beautiful Sandra from the airport on the 10th of June, which by the way is only two days before my birthday on the 12th of June.
Sandra - Is eagerly awaiting her flight to the states where she can once again enjoy her two favorite treats, Jonnie and Red Hot Cheetos, ok, they aren't called Red Hot Cheetos, but they are Cheetos, and they are red hot, but since I don't eat Cheetos I was just taking a stab.
Rosa - Is too busy to scratch her arse, and I really do prefer arse to ass, it sounds so vulgar but in a quaint sort of way. Oh, and she did go to a wine and cheese party which is Australian for she went out and got drunk and picked up a sailor.
AmyJo - She can taste the heavenlyness of Tassajara as we speak, and she told me this time she is going to be head cheerleader or some arses are going to be kicked. They don't really have cheerleaders but, it would be funny if they did, and even funnier to see AmyJo kick some arse.
JohhnyC - Has already hunkered down for the Indy 500 which is happening sometime around the Memorial Day weekend and is grilling meat in anticipation.
Malone - Our baby jesus has been abducted by aliens and is probably being anally probed as I type, or maybe he is just channeling Charles Bukowski and Jack Kirby.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Alice Donut

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Are you a boy or are you a girl?

By Boz and the Barbarians

this is an audio post - click to play

Moulty

RLB covers the Barbarians' classic -

this is an audio post - click to play

[Caution - may contain references to JohnnyC and whores]

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Saturday, May 20, 2006

RW...Wall Drug Style

I was looking at my pics from Wall Drug in South Dakota and this one caught my eye -


[ Click to view larger image. ]


It's exactly how I picture a RW...BS physical reunion.

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Friday, May 19, 2006

I don't wanna be a pinhead no more!




Gabba Gabba we accept you!
Gooble gobble, one of us!

My favorite Ramone's song in tribute to my favorite movie!

Tod Browning's Freaks!

Joey Ramone Tribute Day

Today is Joey Ramone's birthday, he would have been 55.



Pay tribute any way you see fit.

Caption this pic

Thursday, May 18, 2006

If they were played in the movies

Last week I was thinking about who would play me if I was going to have my life story played out on the silver screen. (I thought Judd Nelson should play Jonnie...don't really know why.) So I put brain cell #'s 31 and 63 to work and this is my casting call for the RW...BS.

DVL - Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Boz - Denver Pyle (he was Uncle Jesse on the Dukes Of Hazzard)
AmyJo - Mary Lynn Rasjkub (she plays Chloe on 24; she's the actress I'd be most likely to stalk)
Jonnie - Wilmer Valderrama (Fez on That 70's Show)
Sandra - Catherine Zeta-Jones (yowsa!!)
Belle - JonBenet Ramsey's mother
RosaPosa - Jennifer Garner, drinking Fosters
Kev - Tommy Chong after rehab...(or maybe George Carlin...)

Me - well, I'll let youse folks decide.
(Personally, I want it to be David Letterman...)

This is mine...


Boz wanted us to post our most prized possession, and here's mine.

I don't think there's any doubt about it. I was in one piece, you could say, before the world and peer pressure and all the other shit got ahold of me.


Enjoy friends.
(Do I bear a resemblance to the Baby Judas??)

The Baby Judas!

Juan Bodley...back in action

First I must say hello to all, and no, I didn't go off the deep end...I was in a rut in my life there and just had to walk away from the routine for a while. (I did consider stopping my own blog and just leaving things alone, but things changed so I will continue the madness.)

Jonnie, I got the box o' goodies!!! The inflatable guitar will probably be hung on the wall soon; there will be a pic set to be posted today (as soon as I find where Alex hid the camera...)

So I'm back and maybe things will change. Or maybe not. I will say going out yesterday and assuming my role as the tool bitch helped...I threw some tools for the hell of it.

As Ozzy used to say "Let The Madness Begin!!!"

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

It's Post a Pic of Your Most Prized Possession Wednesday and Thursday

My Poker Playing Dogs on Welvet Tapestry.



Welvet is ten times better than Velvet.

It's 3 foot by 5 foot in dimension.

Click the pick for full sized goodness.

Hail Storm

Happy Birthday Sandra!!!

I didn't have time to make you a new birthday card, so here is the card I made you from two years ago with just a little bit of an edit.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Alles Gut Zum Geburtstag!

It's Sandra's birthday in Germany and in 5 hours it will be her birthday in California.

this is an audio post - click to play

Happy Birthday, Liebling!
Ich Liebe Dich Uber Alles!!

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Caption this pic

Of the hauntingly beautiful dvl.

Sunday, May 14, 2006

Mean Mr. Mustard

this is an audio post - click to play

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Forgotten Fast Food Franchises Sunday

The Red Barn



I think the last time I ate at one of these places was in 1973.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

I Love the Night Light, Baby

An Audio post for Sandra's friend Hanni, who Sandra will be visiting tonight

this is an audio post - click to play

Saturday Quiz

1. Who was president, or prime minister, or chancellor on your 18th birthday?
2. Name three secondary characters from the Simpsons TV show you identify with?
3. If you were to lie to someone and tell them you saw a certain group or singer in concert which group or singer would you pick?
4. Would you drink a gallon of spoiled milk for a thousand dollars?
5. If there was a cause that you really believed in would you join a public nude protest rally in support of that cause?
6. Would you be a sperm or egg donor for a same sex couple who wanted to have a baby?
7. What's the worst gift you ever got for xmas?
8. If you could invite any 5 people to have dinner with you, past or present, famous or non famous, who would you invite?
9. How do you feel about Custer's Last Stand and the Battle of the Little Big Horn.
10. If Germany and Australia were to have a fist fight who would your root for?

Friday, May 12, 2006

Put this thing on hold...

I'm not enjoying things like I should, like good food, a good joke, a good putdown, ect...
And I think I know why.
I'm too wrapped up in the drivel of non-existance.
Nothing to do all day and it's getting to me.
So I've made some decisions and one is to lay off the blogs for a while. (This one and my own blog.)
I may make an occasional post when the spirit moves me, but I need to walk away.

Do not take this as my giving up this blog, (Boz,) just know that I need to right the house of Juan Bodley from inside before I start into anything else.

You guys are the only friends I have and I think you're all great people. Remember that. But I have to get my life back in order before I can laugh and be a smart ass again. Otherwise I'm just being an asshole, and too many people think that of me in the first place.

Peace.

A Mother's Day Greeting For The Only Mother In The House


Happy Mother's Day Des
xoxoxo

Thursday, May 11, 2006

For Jonnie and Sandra

Back in the late 50s Hank Snow recorded the country classic Fraulein. As was the case back then there were often follow up songs, or answer songs recorded by female artists in response to the original. Kitty Wells recorded an answer song to Fraulein called I'll Always Be Your Fraulein.
Now, I don't know about you, but I think Jonnie and Sandra should sing these songs to each other during their impending nuptials.

Fraulein by Hank Snow
I'll Always Be Your Fraulein by Kitty Wells

Of course they can change and update the lyrics to suit their situation.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Celebratory Poetry...

As the self-proclaimed "poet laureate" of the RW...BS (emphasis on "BS") I have taken on the task of setting the grand occasion of Sandra's Visa approval to poem. (BTW Jonnie: did she get the gold card, and does she get the frequent flyer miles too???)

Haiku

Jonnie gets Sandra
Visa approved just this week
Celebrate bitches!

Limericks

Sandra's coming to the US of A
Jonnie thinks that's A - OK
Boz says "let's celebrate"
Belle chooses to procrastinate
And AmyJo insists that Picard is gay!!

Juan Bodley offers congratulations
A union to combine two nations
Jonnie and Sandra are happy
Send presents, make it snappy
So they can go start their relations!!


Top that you low rate Carl Sandbergs...

Ten places I'd rather be than here

1. Just across the border with a one eyed rooster named Gallo Del Cielo hidden under my shirt.
2. Hanging out with Good Time Charlie in the rain.
3. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
4. The overhang at Tiger Stadium.
5. The undertow at Atlantic City.
6. Burger King.
7. Dancing on the head of a pin.
8. In somebody else's shoes.
9. June Carter and Johnny Cash's Jackson.
10. In a metal firecracker with Lucinda Williams.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Juan Bodley scribes a masterpiece (of shit!!)

I wrote this almost 10 years ago for my lil' sis Jennifer, the cat-freak librarian with a penchant for Patrick Stewart. If you don't know the name you'll probably recognize the name Jean-Luc Picard. (Personally, behind Deanna Troi, which is where I wish I was every night I go to sleep, I'd rate my fave Trek:TNG character to be Q. Figures two siblings would pick the nemesis of each other's favorite character...)

So read and upchuck at your earliest convenience...

The Song of Picard
An epic saga of bald authority and testosterone in the Final Frontier

Ahoy Jean-Luc
You lusty man
Through the Gamma Quadrant and beyond
Your legacy spans
To explore new worlds is the mission
The prime directive always stands
Looking for beings and races new
Probing the far corners of strange unfamiliar lands

Mr. Spock said “fascinating”
Scotty offered “I’m givin’ her all I can”
Bones McCoy was merely a doctor
But “Damnit Jim,” Picard is the real man
Stargazer was the first command
Ship and crew ready under Jean-Luc’s hand
Far Point was the first for the Enterprise that you manned
And with each trek on coming, you made your legendary stand

The struggles with Q have embattled him
Menace to Picard, deity to himself
Tales of Robin Hood, trials of humanity
Never knowing his presence, traveling in stellar stealth
Q, the bastard, the conniving dog
Starship Enterprise is his toy
To enrage Jean-Luc, to test his will
Making Picard his whipping boy

A crew of many origins
Their allegiance will never change
With each mission they encounter
Starting with a firm “engage”
Mr. Data, searching for lifeforms
Crunching numbers gives him a digital rise
Geordi Laforge strokes his warp core
Seeing wavelengths with technical eyes

From the House of Mogh, mighty Worf
With his weapons in his hands
Be it phasor, photons, or trusty Bat'leth
Like Kahless his name is revered across universal lands
The first officer’s chair capably filled
William T. Riker is his name
“Make it so, Number One” is Jean-Luc’s command
Will’s anger and drive make Picard look tame

Deanna Troi knows your every thought
From her your fear has no place to hide
Lust for the kill, confront the enemy
She senses your feelings, buried deep inside
Beverly Crusher, doctor in the stars
Your lust for her is long
A mechanical heart cannot feel
The secret pleasure of her on your schlong

Screaming through the Nexus
On the tail of Soran
His merciless quest for eternal pleasure
The El-Aurian is an evil man
With Guinan as guide
You fought off the sight
Of an imagined family
On a perfect Christmas night

Within the Nexus you sought James T. Kirk
Legendary captain, to stand by your side
“Never let them take you from that chair,” to you he said
Together, you began the triumphant ride
Beside Jim Kirk
You heard “Oh my”
Your sweaty head gleaming
As you watched him die

No forcefield could hold
No walls would stand
Soran’s reign of destruction
Would fall at Jean-Luc’s hand
Enterprise came down to its end
The mission complete, the task all done
Picard and his allies contemplate the future of the name
1701-D was toast, all gone

Another ship flies, warp to the galaxies
1701-E rises to the demand
Jean-Luc on the bridge
“Set a course” the immortal command
Becoming Borg, body of man, killing machine
Mechanical menace, technically obscene
Glaring unfeeling, looking lean and mean
Picard’s bare cranium, loaded outside and in, with no connection to his Starfleet team

Menace that Borg, death its objective
Jean-Luc’s family dead by destruction and fear
Many Stardates later, with rage feeding the confrontation
Picard lays the gauntlet down - “The line must be drawn here!!”
What now for the ship Enterprise
The bridge awaits the command
The Captain’s Log will register
Whatever encounters are at hand

Lead on, Jean-Luc
Forge ahead to whatever may be near
Race through the stars at maximum warp
Starfleet’s best will be the first in the Final Frontier

Juan Bodley welcomes Sandra to the US...


This is what you have to look forward to here in the mighty US of A, Sandra...lots of hijinks at the local mall, mannequins being defiled, and AmyJo left jealous in the dust.

Let the party begin!!

Monday, May 08, 2006

Belle's love of vacuuming goes back a long way.

posa does geisha

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Hell's Belles II



Yeah, welcome back.

Hell's Belles


Welcome back, Belle!

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For all you Indianians and Indianian wannabes ...

Before there was John Cougar Mellencamp there were the Hoosier Hot-Shots.

Juan Bodley, off the beat poet...

This is what happens when, while watching one of only five TV stations you get over the air, you get inspired by the show "COPS"...

"Flat broke and busted
My brain is dusted
The boys in blue come lookin' for you
Bad, bad, bad ass what ya gonna do?
Packin' heat out in the street
Cross paths with the flatfoot crusin' the beat
Put the chrome bracelets on
The heat's on you
Get a free ride from the city's finest
To the Gray Bar Motel downtown
Become a prison bitch
Your bunghole gets a twitch
Some prison whore named Tiny
Wears you like a hat
You're wishin' you'd left that smack
In the club where you found it at
John Walsh posts your face
All around the place
Playa, you're goin' down!!"

Word.

Rob's Poem Generator

Over at Shamus' Glob & Wail, I found a great link - Rob's Poem Generator!

Enter a URL and it will generate a poem.
The first one isn't usually great, but keep hitting the submit button and eventually, you'll get a great one.

Here are a couple RW...BS poems (with html text removed):

you believe
me, freak
out. JohnnyC.
Weekend Happy
right? to view larger image.
new magazine covers
too.Jaymz Hetfield and
my cousin Casey,
way to go into round 2 of
the interview, went
so I moved out her new video camera
posted by Rebel Leady
Boy Sandra Rosa
Amy Jo Johnny C Malone
Jonnie & Summer Home Jonnie & 99 Cent
Blog mates...


and -


I be monitoring all times, so
I talked with
Juan Bodley got me
freak out.of the Confessional
postCount ; may! already?
again!!! In the AxeMasters magazine
cover some time
just
it and my cousin Casey,
way posted
by JohnnyC. offers his Apache
wife, Joshie...and it
off her.We should really do it!
apparently , then the rich bohemian
bourgeoisie and you hosers from different
backgrounds
decide to
be Proud of selectivebreeding that
pugs havetrouble breathing because Tassajara is true
that lovable dork from different backgrounds decide to get a paragraph
of his own limerick Here try
this job you
have a great Saturday
May already? again!!!
In the urge to Evansville for But
becuase i do it!
and a great Saturday in the Real World ...


I highly recommend visiting Rob's Poem Generator today.

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Saturday, May 06, 2006

King Boz

I found a non-Dickensian literary reference to Boz.

From Jim Thompson's "dud" western, King Blood (which I love) -

...A mean bastard, that Boz. Senselessly mean. Always twisting your arms or bending back your fingers or jabbing you with a stick. Any damned thing to hear you holler.

And -

...Boz grabbed the firm round breast of his Apache wife, Joshie...and twisted it cruelly. Twisting it harder and harder, gritting threats to rip it off her.

We should really do something about Boz's negative portrayal in literature.

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RW ... BS Pride Weekend

It's Be Proud of the RW ... BS Weekend

Friday, May 05, 2006

Happy Cinco de Mayo





Thursday, May 04, 2006

Juan Bodley updates the masses!!

Boz axed on the zonk how my interview went so I'll tell ya:

The guy I talked with liked my broadcast knowledge and my installer's brain. This company is part of Cinergy Communications (the logo is exactly like the Cinergy that was the namesake of the old Cinergy Field in Cincinnati, former home of my FIRST PLACE REDS!!!) This company is based in Evansville, IN, and they have their headend (where they ingest all the channels for the cable system) in Evansville. They offer their service (cable TV, telephone, and Internet) on a fiber optic service right to the house...the fastest service in town!!

I would be based in Indianapolis, IN, and my shop/office would be on the northwest side...about 3-5 miles due north of the Indy Motor Speedway. (Can ya tell that's got me psyched?? The shops for Tony Stewart Racing...his sprint car team, is in the same complex as the Cinergy office!! Andretti-Green and Chip Ganassi have shops right there as well.)

What will I be doing if I get this job you ask?? Well, basically, I would be monitoring all off air channels from Indy TV stations and their quality of signal on the cable system, as well as being in charge of the headends on their systems in Seymour IN and Greenfield, IN, which means I'll be driving a lot. But I would get a laptop for system service, with me at all times, so I can slam you hosers from any office!!! And I would have a downtown Indy headend to maintain so I could chase the bitches...

I will know tomorrow if I'm into round 2 of interviews, but if I am I have to drive all the fucking way to Evansville for the interview, and if I get the job I'd have to go back for HR shit. (That's 4+ hours in one direction, kids!!) But I could audioblog with the intro of "Cable Guy!!!"

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

this cracked me up

From: http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2006/4/27michel.html

Q: Dear Critter Corner,

My dog Snort, a pug, always seems to be snorting and wheezing. Is it
true that pugs have breathing problems because of their short snouts?

—Chester, age 9

A: Chester, while it is true that scientists used to believe the
respiratory problems of pugs were a result of generations of selective
breeding that led to abnormally short snouts, we now know pugs have
trouble breathing because God doesn't want them to live.



hahahaha!



Tuesday, May 02, 2006

It's May already?

May's UPS Motivational Slogan
Courtesy of the 2006 UPS Going Places calendar which was given to me by the UPS man for free -


Let's be the ones to rise to all occasions.

Wow - a fucking UPS plane.

These are getting worse and worse as the year goes on.

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They're rockin' again!!!


In the pic to your left you see myself (on the left) and my cousin Casey, way back in 1990-something. (Would have been before 1992...I moved out of the house then.) Casey, aka Pedro, and myself, aka Juan Bodley, spent a crazy Saturday this last weekend having a good ol' time just a pickin' and a grinnin'. (Casey wields a mean axe...And I'm not just sayin' it - he can play!!)
((regular viewers here will recognize this pic as the basis for the "AxeMasters" magazine cover some time back...))

Pictures were taken and recordings were made...in the near future some of the recordings hopefully will be posted here (probably me TRYING to play the guitar and failing miserably) and of course there will be new magazine covers too.

Jaymz Hetfield and KRK Hammett better look out now, though, Juan Bodley got some metal for you!!!!!
Keep looking in to see the results of a great Saturday in the rock, as it were...

My apologies to Casey's wife Sharon for destroying any hopes of having a peaceful Saturday, by the way...

It's Indy in the month of May!!!!

The dulcet tones of Juan Bodley offer a tribute to that lovable dork from Mayberry, Mr. Jim Neighbors!!! Sing along with Juan Bodley!!!

this is an audio post - click to play

Say Cool Things About Boz Tuesday

It's Say Cool Things About Boz Tuesday.
So do it!

Monday, May 01, 2006

JohnnyC. offers his own limerick

Here try this one out:

JohnnyC. went lusting for wenches
He thrusted his junk in the trenches
Then he found AmyJo
And his ballsack swung low
And he gave up on those sleazy bitches

Made up in 2 minutes...damn I'm good.

it's may! it's may!





Does anyone else have the urge to sing songs from "Camelot"? I thought not.
It's May. Which means I have exactly 28 days before I leave the corporate world and go into the mountains to sit cross legged and serve gourmet meals to the rich bohemian bourgeoisie and bathe in hot springs and study the nature of conditioned existence and hopefully tame the ego and maybe lose a few pounds because Tassajara is hardcore and you have to wash your clothes by hand, using washboards and a wringer and that's quite a workout.

It's May. It's May. Which also means that today is the day the winner of the grant I applied for hears that they won the grant I applied for. I haven't heard anything. So I probably didn't win the grant I applied for. But I am sure whoever did win the grant I applied for totally deserves it and it will be just the ticket for them. Even though the grant I applied for seemed tailor-made for me, if this is not the case as it apparently isn't, then the grant I applied for and probably didn't win will make someone somewhere very happy and that should make me happy, right? Right. Riiiiiggght.

Anytime anyone mentions the word "moving" to me, I freak out. I think I am more freaked out about this than I am letting myself let on to myself.

But I am looking forward to not spending 50 bucks a week on gas.
And I am looking forward to -- no, I am not. Looking forward to things makes me freak out.

tra la fucking la la la.