The Real World ... Blogger Style: 06/01/2007 - 07/01/2007

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

My Day With A Power Washer...

Let me tell you my can have some serious fun with a power washer.
We rented one to clean the siding and brick on a house one of my aunt's is going to sell. JohnnyC. gets the call to run it but Juan Bodley shows up. That's where he decides that he needs to think of things to do with a power washer...
(which can run at 2000+ PSI, which is a FUCKING LOAD!!)

1. Take it to a McDonald's and scrub the face off of Ronald's head.
2. Show up at a Girl Scout charity carwash and take the paint off a Volvo, and then still ask for a donation.
3. Use it to give Dick Cheney a facial.
5. (Sorry #4 got washed away...) Take it to a truckstop and offer to hose down all the "lot lizards."
6. Show up at a sleepaway camp (like Camp Whitley, Jonnie,) and hose down the cabins so they have to close the camp.
7. Take it to the impound lot at the nearest cop shop and write "O.J. Did It You Fucknuts" on the back of an Oldsmobile. (That's the only car it would fit on!!)

Now kids, what kinds of summer cleaning projects can you think of???

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Calling the Detweiler Brothers!!

Hey Boz Detweiler!!
Hey Jonnie Detweiler!!
This is Dick the Bruiser and I'm coming to kick your ass!!
No more of this candy ass blogging!!
I want the blood of the Detweiler Brothers on the World Wide Web!!!!
Where's Juan Bodley???


The Reality:

The Promise:

[ Photos by Sandra ]

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Sunday, June 17, 2007

Not funny

Saturday, June 16, 2007

A picture that didn't make the cut for Van Log '94

After a night of revelry our group of happy travelers made a wrong turn somewhere in the Yukon Territory and ended up in Kuzbekistan part of the former Soviet Union.

From left to right
Mel, Brother Todd, and Jonnie.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Van Log '94: An Audio Review

Boz Reviews Van Log '94.

Right Click and open in new window.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Van Log '94

After 13 years, Van Log '94 has surfaced as a paperback and is available for the low price of $8.95. I am also offering it as a free electronic download, if you don't mind reading stuff on a computer screen.

Van Long '94
Order your copy today.

Van Log ’94 is an edited transcription of a series of audio tapes recorded during a road trip from Indiana to Alaska in May, 1994. The Van Log was a good companion in 1994 - a battery-operated one-speaker cassette recorder/player, a confidant, and a witness to a cross-country trek of four Hoosier youths in search of adventure and fortune in the Alaskan fish processing industry. Adventure is easily had for such an optimistic and desperate troupe as we were. The notion of finding fortune (the other goal of our journey) in fish processing is, of course, absurd. Van Log ’94 is a collective narrative - instead of identifying individual speakers, I just blended everybody's comments into one running commentary. The same paragraph may incorporate statements made by any or all four of us. Van Log ’94 is a travelogue rather than a fictional account, so character development is unnecessary; though I occasionally place conversational dialog in quotation marks to indicate a dialog is taking place between two people.

Product Details:
Printed: 96 pages, 6" x 9", perfect binding, black and white interior ink

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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

SNL Revisited

What's even cooler than Sofa King?

Natalie Portman!

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Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Birthday present from Jonnie and Sandra

I swear to god, Van Log '94 is one laugh after another.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

I am death, drink my blood and die!!!

Your Score: Megadeth

You scored 155Variable #1!

Your words twists perverse. In the after life you are a slave to the gods of metal.

Link: The If you were an 80's metal band Test written by Kidfromthe80z on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Yes only I would find this test and then get this result...

Your Score: Metallica

You scored 105Variable #1!

Link: The If you were an 80's metal band Test written by Kidfromthe80z on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

It just shows that I AM THE METAL MASTER!!! Ah hahahahahahaha!!!!!

Ozzy bows to me at a shrine built in the jon...get it bitches???

Mmmmm, gourmet tuna fish

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Friday, June 08, 2007

Once again I am a bike riding fool.

When I got my bike out of the shed this morning I noticed that someone had stolen my gas can.

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Why couldn't they have stolen my bike, or my lawn mower, or something else that I could have filed an insurance claim for and not felt like an idiot for filing it like I would have felt like if I had filed a claim for the gas can.

When people see me riding my bike I hope they assume that I am riding it for fun and exercise and not because of a previous DUI conviction.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

As seen on TV

Let's all get these and start trimming our unsightly back hair.

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Monday, June 04, 2007

Sex in the Library Quiz

Your Score: Hell yeah.

You scored 72 bookishness and 60 kinkiness!

You love books, you're down with the'd almost definitely have sex in the library. Find a partner, find a good spot...and go for it.

Link: The Sex In The Library Test written by missthang8 on OkCupid, home of the The Dating Persona Test

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Something Notable which Occurred at Panda Express

Sandra and I watched a guy throw his wallet in the garbage can and then wander around trying to figure out where he left it.

About a month ago, we stopped by Panda Express while driving home from work. While we were enjoying our Orange Chicken, a couple of OC teenagers were sitting behind us (facing Sandra, but to my back). It was a guy and a girl, probably in their later high school years, possibly on a date. As they finished their meal and got up to leave, the male carried their tray over to the garbage can and dumped it in.

Sandra's observational capacity is better than gold and this incident is just one example of many. As soon as the couple walked out the door, Sandra remarked, "That guy just threw his wallet in the trash. It was sitting on his tray".

A few minutes later, hilarity ensued as the couple returned and the guy announced, "Where's my wallet"? They looked all over the place for it. At one point, he even asked the girl, "Did I throw it away?", but then he just glanced into the trash can without really checking.

Of course, we didn't say anything. It's never funny for a guy to lose his wallet, but in this case, it was pretty amusing. Even before losing the wallet, when they were just sitting there eating, they came off like typical OC teenagers - spoiled and arrogant. I really doubt that guy ever worked a day in his life. If he was too embarrassed to dig through the trash for it, he didn't really need it that much.

Next he commented that somebody must have stolen it, but didn't seem to believe that himself. He knew he had it when he came it.

That was good for a hearty chuckle.

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Sunday, June 03, 2007

Purging my hard drive of songs about guys named Jonnie

This might be my favorite.
The Ballad of Hippie Jonnie