The Real World ... Blogger Style: 01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Minute Rice...a pipe dream??

As a lover of Chinese food (both "storebought"- meaning restaurant, fast food and LaChoy - and homemade, as I do own a stir fry pan,) I am a frequent user of a brand of instant rice called, ya yabetcha, Minute Rice. Now, not too long ago I go to reading the label and I found a discrepency in the wording of the cooking instructions versus the front of the box. If you make a 2 serving size bowl in the microwave you are instructed to nuke that mother for 6 minutes. However, according to the front of the box, it cooks in 5 minutes!! Is General Foods in cahoots with national power companies for higher usage?? What's the freaking deal?????

This quiz is bunk!!

Malice
You are the Eye of Malice. You are a wicked person. You have no friends, because you caused them pain until they decided to kill themselves. How rude. You are alone in this world, strictly because of your evil brewing inside you.
Color:Red
Object:Hate
View of Life: Insignificant humans

What a load of malarkey. Had I wished to kill, I would have done it by now, not waited for a quiz to tell me to do it. Bullshit. I'm happy. Now I must badmouth the establishment.
Let's be happy, dammit!!!

Monday, January 30, 2006

Photo Copy

Eye of Loneliness!

HASH(0x8dcea10)
Loneliness


You are the Eye of Loneliness. You shed poetic stars as you stare into the void and realize your inherent separation from all other beings. We are born into suffering,and no one else can take on our pain. Everyone dies alone.
Color:Light Blue

Object: raver necklace, hit of ecstasy to combat the feeling of disconnection

View on Life: Blurred by starry tears. Misty and full of craving. Except when you're rolling,and then everyone is beautiful, an extension of your bliss-suffused psyche.

What Eyes Of Pain Are You?+Pics And Detailed Results+
brought to you by Quizilla

I may have changed the text a little.

Eyes of pain again

HASH(0x8e15164)
Anger


You are the Eye of Anger. You are negativley pissed

off. Things always get to you, bug you, and

set you off. Your friends have taken

advantage of this negativity, leaving you

feeling more pissed

Color: White

Object: Axe

View of Life: Loathsome place


What Eyes Of Pain Are You?+Pics And Detailed Results+
brought to you by Quizilla

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Eyes of Pain Quiz

I don't know what an "Eye of Pain" is, but I thought this quiz was hilareous:

HASH(0x8c1bf3c)
Depression

Eye of Depression. You are depressed. You feel as though you cannot carry on in this world. You have lost all hope. Your friends try to help, but cannot.

Color:Black

Object: Thorn

View of Life: Hate it


What Eyes Of Pain Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

hahaha
"Eyes of Pain" Quiz rocks!

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quiz result

You're...Kinetix!
You're Zoe Saugin, Kinetix!


Which Legionnaire are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Very accurate except...she's not naked. I chose every naked answer... I wanted to be a naked crime fighter!


Oh and I am not enthralled with status. Or clothed superheroes.

Legion of Superheroes Quiz II

She's a chick, isn't she?

You're...Spark!
You're Ayla Ranzz, Spark!


Which Legionnaire are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

56 other people got this result!
This quiz has been taken 1376 times.
4% of people had this result.

Damn, my feminine side is taking over again!

Legion of Superheroes Quiz

Damn, I wanted to be someone hardcore, like Mon-el or Ultra Boy.

Oh! Or Colossal Boy!!
Maybe I'll retake it in the morning.

You're...Invisible Kid!
You're Lyle Norg, Invisible Kid!

Which Legionnaire are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

I am so not suave. Though I am a fan of their cheap shampoo.

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No! no no no no no no no no no no ....... Noooooooooooo!

First day back at school today :(

Couldnt i just have one more week at home??

im refusing to get dressed and hanging on to the bed post.

Im not going and you cant make me!!

PUSSPEWINGBLOODGUTINHELL

Onemightymyth is down for at least a couple more days, because the queer folks at Bravenet are dumb, stupid, stupidfaced stupidheads and I hate them and hope they all die.

Please open a support ticket and express your frustration in my honor.

Now...more Big O.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

A tribute to Stompin' Tom Conners

My dilemma

Last week JohnnyC asked me if I would burn and send him copies of the CD's The Poonannie of Jonnie, and Boz's Brickbats Volumes 1 and 2.
Of course I agreed, and being the good guy that I am I decided to include at no extra charge a copy of The Beast of Boz, Caffeine Connection.
I mailed them out on Tuesday, so JohnnyC should have them by now, but here's the problem ...
I was in such a hurry to get them in the mail that I forgot to include Boz's Brickbats Volume 2.
So, should I stiff him, or should I make another trip to the post office?
Voting enabled.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Truck balls



AmyJo can't wait until they come out with a charm bracelet.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

My favorite calendar - January

Nothing says January more than a heart warming Norman Rockwell print of a boy and his dog.



If you click it,
It will grow!

I got this calendar from the Sav-Mor Drugstore in Tawas City, and it is hanging on the fridge out in the utility room.
That's the Old Man and MB to the left circa 1957.

January's Motivational UPS Slogan

I got a free UPS calendar at work today.

Their theme for 2006 is "Let's Go Places", including the RW blog!

Each month features a different motivational slogan and image of UPS workers in action.

I will scan and post them every month and you can all apply each inspirational slogan to your own lives.


"Let's turn 'It can't be done' into 'When do you want it'" - Discuss in the comments.

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Monday, January 23, 2006

Boz thru the centuries

I was about two in this pic and the pants were literally pulled all the way up to my armpits.



I guess I was about 28 in this pic and it looks like I am in the exercise yard of some minimum security prison. Check out the Chuck Taylors, the kids today have nothing on me.

Public decency in denial


Ah yes. Just what you all wanted to see. Jonnie looks so damn happy to see me pissin'. (That's how us farmboys say it: pissin'.) I just wanted to freak ya all out just cause I can. Sorry Jonnie.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Another Highlight From the Archives of the RW ... BS

Real World ... Audio Style

Boz and Donovan, 21th Century Troubadours.

this is an audio post - click to play

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Keep an eye out for the postman Sandra!


I may just have sent you one of these.

Friday, January 20, 2006

Thrilling Days of Yesteryear

I had to watch Sopranos Season 4, disc #2 tonight because it's due back at the video store tomorrow, so part 2 of my audiopost will probably wait until tomorrow.

Until then, here's some authentic RW...BS ephemera:

Ephemera = miscellaneous disposable items that were not intended to persist into the future and were not supposed to hold any historic value.
When ephemera is retained into the future, it can occasionally offer a more complete picture of events for researchers interested in that particular subject.

Here's my quiz result from Boz's early "Which Real World...Blogger Style Member Are You?" quiz, circa Jan./Feb., 2004 -


The aquarium theme in the background matched the original RW...BS website layout.

Some months later, Boz updated the page to include this header:


[ Click to view larger image ]

The fish were animated .gif files, so you could actually watch them wag their tails. It was the most action-packed template we ever had (and also the most controversial - 2 members actually left the blog over that template).

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Thursday, January 19, 2006

RW Recollections, Part 1

Jonnie tries to get it together enough to recollect the RW...BS's origins.

this is an audio post - click to play

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Testing, Mayday, Testing, Mayday

this is an audio post - click to play

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Wednesday, January 18, 2006

An audio history of the RW ... BS sort of

Part One

this is an audio post - click to play


Part two

this is an audio post - click to play

It's a beautiful day in the Bloggerhood

Since I don't have a webcam or mic for this computer (it's not mine anyway) I will scribe my notes to the screen about the event of celebrating 2 years of RW...BS.

I thank Rebel Leady Boy (I knew him as Bocephus in the day) for arousing my interest in this portal to creative insanity. I thank Boz (I knew him as Ted Kennedy Jr.) for letting me join the party. I thank Sandra (I knew her in another plane of spiritual existance...what a place) for her encouragement, and for keeping my technical mind working. (Even if it really didn't help her...)
For everyone here (I knew you before we existed) I thank you for your enlightment (AmyJo and Belle espcially...someday we need to party) and for allowing a twisted Cyclops to rage in the realm of Cyberspaze.

Shalom and shazbot!!

I second that e-video-post.






Happy Anniversary

It's been two years for the rw ... bs.
I think we should sacrifice a virgin.
Any nominations?
Any volunteers?

Monday, January 16, 2006

Train/Zippo Results

Immediately after de-boarding the bus at approximately 4:50pm, I ran straight to the tracks and secured the zippo to the rail with packing tape:


Then I purchased a refreshing lemonade and hoped the train would come before my bus did.

The train came roaring by a good 5 minutes before the bus arrival time, so I was thrilled that everything went so perfectly.

But when I went back to retrieve the deformed zippo, it was gone -


Only the tape remained.

Motherfucker!

I looked up and down the tracks for the zippo for a couple of minutes until my bus arrived and I had to leave (at approximately 5:10pm).

I'll look for it again tomorrow.

That kind of takes the fun out of deforming shit if you can't find it afterwards.

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In honor of our 2nd Anniversary

A Group Video Post!!!

A Service to the Housemates

I have a bus transfer point on my way home from work where I'm standing right next to some train tracks for about 20 minutes.

Every day, the short commuter train to LA goes down those tracks while I'm waiting for my bus and I was thinking I'd like to start putting stuff on the track and taking pictures of it after the train runs over it.

I have a zippo cigarette lighter that was given to me by my ex which I have no attachment to at all anymore but I hate to just throw it away. So today I'll put it on the track and if everything goes well, I will take requests for other items you would like to see run over by a train.

Maybe I'll put that bag of glue on there too.

So in the comments, let me know what you'd like to see run over by a train.

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If we ever have another XIJIF

This is what I am getting for Jonnie.



Poor Little Jon Benet on black velvet.

Juan Bodley ???
Jon Benet ???
Juan Benet ???
Jon Bodley ???
Coincidence, I think not.

Sunday, January 15, 2006

And now for something completely different ...

The Lumberjack song ...
The Lumberjack song ...
The Lumberjack song ...
The Lumberjack song ...
The Lumberjack song ...
The Lumberjack song ...
The Lumberjack song ...
In German.
As performed by Monty Python's Flying Cir .....................cus.

Courtesy of WFMU's Beware of the Blog.

Juan Bodley goes against the establishment...

Are there any hockey fans out there in the RW...BS??? I am so bear with me.
Yesterday (Saturday) was the start of NBC's live NHL hockey coverage nationwide, and since I don't have cable I looked forward to it. However, here in Indiana, and certainly Fort Wayne, we have a lot more basketball fans, so I forgot that, and the NBC station here ran their ESPN Plus coverage of Big Ten basketball, and never once mentioned the hockey or if they were tape delaying it. (the game I would have seen was Detroit vs. the NY Rangers...a good game apparently had I seen it.) As an upset hockey fan I will be "e-bombing" the stations' GM about the situation....(or go to my blog and read on...)

BTW I'm a Chicago Blackhawks fan, and here in the Fort we have the Komets, who are in the United Hockey League. They play teams from the Eastern US, espcially a few teams in the lower part of Michigan...where they breed thugs for their teams. Any live near you Boz?? I could see you on the Port Huron team as the goalie..............

Saturday, January 14, 2006

They Usually Stay Out Of Our Way...

Did anyone else have an exceptionally shitty day yesterday and get home at 3 this morning and realize for the first time that it was Friday the 13th?

Thursday, January 12, 2006

A blatant plug from AnonymousJo

This is a plug for my friend Ben Perez, who wrote a PORNOLEXICOLOGY/novel called "The Evil Queen". His pseudonym is Dr.Vostu, and he is worth your time.

He read at my sister's wedding, and he is a wonderful writer--deviant, funny, and smart. He loves sex and the written word. What could be better?

Buy his book!
http://www.spuytenduyvil.net/fiction/evilqueen.htm

http://www.eternalnight.co.uk/books/p/perezbenjamin.html


AmyJo

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Atomic Dog

Doing next to nothing...

Have you ever wondered what nothing is REALLY like?? I mean, we almost always say that's what we're doing when someone says, "what ya doin'?" I'm kinda tired of NOTHING. I want to be tired of something...other than what Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie is doing...that's ABSOLUTELY Nothing. I want to be tired of too much sex with a Playboy Playmate. Or maybe winning the Indy 500 for the 7th time. Or just too much free beer. If there was too much free beer in the universe, we wouldn't be sending our kids to the Iraqi Summer Camp. Yep, nothing. Nothing at all.

So, what ya doing?? (Boz get your hands out of your shorts!!)
Hand check!!

Another post from AnonymousJo

I commute 40 miles each way to work, and there are traffic jams. I spend a lot of time looking up the asses of SUVs. I have noticed that many of them have names that are virile yet nonsensical--you get the idea that the sound of the name appealed more to the marketers than the sense. So I have invented a game to make the time pass: coming up with brand names for giant vehicles.

My best so far: The Buick Turgid
The Ford Bushwhacker

Then there is the faux-elegance school of car naming. Here are some I came up with:

The Chrysler Frottage
The Chevy Voyeur

Anyone else?

AmyJo

Monday, January 09, 2006

Google Blog Search

Deutschland Uber Alles

Sandra & Jonnie retire to Germany:

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An email post from AmyJo who has spent all day at work doing nothing but eating M&Ms

AmyJo's 2006 in review.

The highlight of 2006 so far has been scaring little sister ShellyJo with
the Jonnie Christmas Ball hanging from my doorknob. I am not sure if it is
RLB's manic grin or the fact that the ornament talks that causes her
particular unease, or maybe it is the combination, but I had to turn it to
the wall just so she could get some peace of mind. Way to go, Jonnie!

And that hasn't really been the highlight. Big sister KathyJo got married on
Saturday. It was such a momentous occasion that I even shaved my pits. I
also learned that shaving my legs with a razor in each hand does not in fact
produce an efficient, time-reducing shave because I spend too much time
stanching arterial spurts and mopping up the trail of blood I leave as I
walk around cursing with pain.

More once pictures come in.

Amyjo

Saturday, January 07, 2006

I believe in raptor Jesus.

I think I'm going to start playing Warhammer 40K again.
But I'm not sure.

I need votes.

Yes.

No.

Maybe.

Make it a Butt Light



Butt plug and flashlight in one, light available in different colors and with strobe effect.

What a world we live in.

Re-enactment Part Deux

Reinactment

Friday, January 06, 2006

Caption This Pic

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Sex Ed

Boz latest post (on his blog) reminded me of my sex ed class... it was in 6th grade and I was 11 years old. We had to write a lengthy paper on a sex-related topic and every pupil was assigned to a different topic. Mine was STD's (hooray).

All the other kids copied or cut out pictures from biology books and... ummm... porn... heck, I don't know where they got the pics from, but they just copied them and glued them onto the paper.

I, being quite a good painter, thought I might get some extra points if I don't just cut out pics, but draw some myself. And so I did. I drew realistic and quite explicit illustrations of reproduction systems, illnesses of reproduction systems and the like.

So, when our teacher (a former nun!) returned the papers a week later I found that mine was the only one without a grade written on it. I asked her why and she said she wants to talk to me about the paper before she grades it.

Teacher: You're quite a good painter.
Me: Thank you!
Teacher: Do you enjoy painting?
Me: Yes!
Teacher: Did you enjoy painting THESE pictures?
Me: Ummm, well, yeah, well, yes.
Teacher: Where you alone when you painted these pictures?
Me: Ummm, yes.
Teacher: Did you have any, well, how should I say this... unusual feelings while painting these pictures?
Me: Ummm, no.
Teacher: I just don't understand why you painted them and not just copied illustrations from the biology book. It must have aroused you in some way to paint them.
Me: ?????
Teacher: Did you paint them at night?
Me: ?????

So we had a 10 minute conversation (with classmates watching) about why she thinks that I (11 years old!) was aroused by painting penises and balls and vaginas and yeah, there was even a picture of 2 naked men kissing and oh, a pic of a dead guy! a dead guy! and yeah, now I remember, I wanted to make a point on the last page of the paper ("Use condoms!") and so I made a little German flag made out of black, red and yellow condoms and glued that on the last page and wait, where was I getting?, oh yes, I wanted to tell you that the teacher was the weird one and no, not me... and oh well, there was something very wrong with our sex ed class, I just can't point my finger at it.

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Monkey VS Bees

I hesitated to post this on the grounds that it may upset Belle, but then on the other hand, it is just a fictional representation.


[ Click to view larger image ]


Look at those huge hives in the background!
Do monkeys eat honey?
Do they eat bees??

Tragic monkey!

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Another Juan Bodley place to visit

There's another place to find me at now...it's called Juan Bodley's Hell. (www.juanbodley.blogspot.com)

I don't know how it will measure up to you guys (and ladies too) but it's my space and I intend to waste it as I see fit. I'm learning how to put my links in and other stuff so bear with me but let's have some fun with it OK?

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Rollergirls: A Review

Rollergirls is a show about girls who roller skate. As far as I can tell the concept and rules of the game can only be explained using salt shakers, but I did learn that there are "blockers" and there are "jammers." Apparently the "jammers" skate around and break through the "blockers" who are, get this, blocking their way. Once they break through and skate around the track one time, the pushing and beating and kicking and doing whatever it takes to get in the lead begins. I think it is some sort of a race, but don't quote me on that.
Tonight's episode featured rookie "Venis Envy," Image hosted by Photobucket.com
who started crying at her first scrimmage after she inverted this "Lux" girl's nipples,
Image hosted by Photobucket.com
and "Cha Cha," Image hosted by Photobucket.com
who pees in alleys and just might actually be a man, even though she drops her daughter JON BENET RAMSEY off at strangers' houses so she can go do the aforementioned peeing in alleys.
Needless to say, Lux got her nipples un-inverted and won the game.
And the moral of the story is never invite your mother to a Rollergirls game, especially if your mother is Hilary Clinton's twin sister and you are going to have your ass hanging out all night.

The Great Rupert

My review of The Great Rupert DVD that Boz sent me is posted on Rebel Leady Boy.


I went with a blow-by-blow narrative style, so it's pretty lengthy.

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Monday, January 02, 2006

If it's almost Tuesday

It's almost Belle's birthday

this is an audio post - click to play


Happy Birthday Belle!!!

About me


I am a male, in my early 20s from Malaysia. Currently, I am studying Automotive Engineering (Yr2) in UK. This is a portrait I created using a website because I seldom take pictures and I do not have a digital camera. Actually, my drawing is not good. Roughly describing, I have a dark complexion and used to have long hair (now cut).
Nearly forgotten, I am a Chinese and my mother tongue is not English. Life here in UK is quite OK for me but I feel panic when I have to speak. Back in Malaysia, I seldom speak English and even watch English movies. Imagine...how my spoken English is...

This just in ...

Jonnie and I have started a 99 Cent Blog where we will rate and review our 99 Cent/Dollar Store purchases and in general give you an overview of the 99 Cent Store shopping experience.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Now that it is over

What was the highlight of your holiday season?
I think mine was Jonnie's review of the Mexican cinema classic Santa Claus.
And is it just me but doesn't Poor Little Lupita look a little bit like Little E?

Poooooor Little Lupita!!!