Sex Ed

Boz latest post (on his blog) reminded me of my sex ed class... it was in 6th grade and I was 11 years old. We had to write a lengthy paper on a sex-related topic and every pupil was assigned to a different topic. Mine was STD's (hooray).

All the other kids copied or cut out pictures from biology books and... ummm... porn... heck, I don't know where they got the pics from, but they just copied them and glued them onto the paper.

I, being quite a good painter, thought I might get some extra points if I don't just cut out pics, but draw some myself. And so I did. I drew realistic and quite explicit illustrations of reproduction systems, illnesses of reproduction systems and the like.

So, when our teacher (a former nun!) returned the papers a week later I found that mine was the only one without a grade written on it. I asked her why and she said she wants to talk to me about the paper before she grades it.

Teacher: You're quite a good painter.
Me: Thank you!
Teacher: Do you enjoy painting?
Me: Yes!
Teacher: Did you enjoy painting THESE pictures?
Me: Ummm, well, yeah, well, yes.
Teacher: Where you alone when you painted these pictures?
Me: Ummm, yes.
Teacher: Did you have any, well, how should I say this... unusual feelings while painting these pictures?
Me: Ummm, no.
Teacher: I just don't understand why you painted them and not just copied illustrations from the biology book. It must have aroused you in some way to paint them.
Me: ?????
Teacher: Did you paint them at night?
Me: ?????

So we had a 10 minute conversation (with classmates watching) about why she thinks that I (11 years old!) was aroused by painting penises and balls and vaginas and yeah, there was even a picture of 2 naked men kissing and oh, a pic of a dead guy! a dead guy! and yeah, now I remember, I wanted to make a point on the last page of the paper ("Use condoms!") and so I made a little German flag made out of black, red and yellow condoms and glued that on the last page and wait, where was I getting?, oh yes, I wanted to tell you that the teacher was the weird one and no, not me... and oh well, there was something very wrong with our sex ed class, I just can't point my finger at it.