The Real World ... Blogger Style: 07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006

Saturday, July 29, 2006

My favorite fountain statue



It's in Koblenz, near my hometown Braubach in Germany.

The statue spits the water way far and at irregular intervals so that passers-by get wet.

My favorite fountain picture

Two for the price of one.



A statue of Dixieland jazz musician Pete Fountain standing in front of a fountain.

Half-Assed Participation Attempt

I am still an active contributer to the blog, we have just been busy busy busy lately.

So for lack of anything better to post, here is a photo of the Irvine Spectrum Center mall's lion fountain -

[ Click to view larger image. ]

RAAARR!!!

There are a lot of coins in that water too, if you're brave enough to go in after them.

They also have a fountain with a statue of a pomegranite in it, but I didn't think statues of vegetables were as exciting as lions with water coming out of their mouths.

So nobody can accuse me of non-participation.

My favorite Indiana mall statue was in Fort Wayne's Glenbrook mall. It depicted a naked kid riding on a huge fish; but JohnnyC says it has since been removed. I wonder if it is available on ebay. I should look through my old pics and see if I can find a photo of it.

And heck, if I post that, I might as well post a photo of the pomegranite fountain too.

What is your favorite mall fountain?
Please post a detailed narrative and photo.
Don't be a wallflower.

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The Force Is Up Yours...

If you love (or hate) Star Wars, or just Darth Vader, then you need to go here.
It's worth the download time. Damn funny.

You heard it from me.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Jonnie and Sandra's Wedding Present From Me ...

Is in the mail.
Please don't wait to open it till your wedding. If you do you will embarrass me, embarrass you, and embarrass your guests.
But ... do open it together, and naked, ok, you don't have to open it naked, it was just a thought.
As usual my gift(s)is kind of unique. I was going to send some Flamin' Hot Cheetos, but I imagine Sandra is probably burnt out on them by now, get it ... Flamin' Hot ... burnt out!!!
I sent it first class mail so you should get it either Saturday or Monday.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Juan Bodley, RW...BS Meterologist!

I heard last week that the recent hurricane was named "Beryl," so natch I heard in my head "Hurricane Boz." No offense, Boz, I just do that. So after that I came up with this...
Please welcome the Official 2006 Real World...Blogger Style Hurricane Forecast. In no particular order.

Hurricane Boz: slow moving, a real pain in the neck storm. Originating over Lake Michigan, it gets it's backlash from overseas currents and ideas from 70's miscast TV shows. Also driven by Internet scams and rage against Sam Walton's Evil Empire.
Hurricane Malone: in a tropical depression, he gathers force with deep thinking and Thai food. (I think; he's always off the radar...) Jedi, maybe(??!!??)
Hurricane AmyJo: lost in the weeds, a total rash on the Doppler Super 69 Mega-Master Storm Center. You never know where she's been or what she's packing (or scratching...) A giant vortex over the next available nunnery...
Hurricane RLB: how do you predict lightning in a bottle?? Jonnie back-builds in the nearest research facility, and with a Hulk-hands assisted punch, POW!! Right in the kisser, tacos and all...
Hurricane Sandra: say Guten tag to the dark force. In a lederhosen rage she sneaks up and slams the left coast (nearest landfall is usually near dead cars in the streets of the O.C., or the nearest wiener dog race.) Eager to get hitched to another storm, so watch out for this one!!
Typhoon Belle: Belle is your classic "stalking" type storm...late at night while Benson is on she cleans out your basement and takes Jon-Benet with her, leaving Kirk Cameron to empty the fridge and prophesize on your TV.
Hurricane Marci: We here in the RW...BS Forecast Center have only been able to isolate this storm over eastern Atlanta, maybe near Buckhead, in a staggering pattern. You would think she'd be wheeling away but it's usually staggering. Don't really have an explanation why...
Typhoon Rosa Posa: let's all learn something from this storm, shall we? A classy storm, she only makes landfall on the high-dollar neighborhoods, or wherever there's "shrimp on the barby"...or a midget on some chick named Barbie, and the Foster's got exported for the Yanks. AussieAussieAussie!!!
Hurricane DVL: unseen on the radar, this storm would be more of a "subversive" class disturbance...our spotters in the field have not located her...and radar is clean at the moment.
Hurricane Juan Bodley: keep an eye out for this one...he'll talk ya into submission and take your Pepsi, leaving the Coke behind. Ladies, better keep your pants on when this one lands nearby!! Always a screw (or two) loose in this chaotic mess of stormy clutter...he'll trash a Sears hardware department in seconds and then level Home Depot, Best Buy, and Kroger's meat section in that order. Fueled by Jaymz Hetfield's music and bloodlust...

There ya have it, ladies and grunts!! Best to update your storm insurance and batton down the hatches. Send your complaints to the general manager, c/o RW...BS, the weather dept., attention: crackpot weather.
(remember these are "forecasts" and not attacks against any person, except maybe Belle...she needs a man, I think...)

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Where's JohnnyC?

I've been a busy tool bitch.
I've worked on 2 new wells in the past weeek, some other shit the week before, and now I've got 2 yards to mow. In other words, I'm the family slave. Someday massa set me free...

Until yesterday I thought I'd never see Saturday night. And now it's heer and I just want to drink a 64 oz beer and puke in the neighbor's bushes (or her bush, ya never know...)

On a cool note (for Jonnie) that young lady that posted the "Which JohnnyC. Quote Are You?" quiz actually updated her livejournal page and came to my blog!!! Now I just have to find her email address and maybe my Sandra will be waiting for me in Wisconsin...

Ozzfest is tomorrow and I have free tickets...I may not go (Ozzy is NOT playing, but Disturbed and System Of A Down, as well as Black Label Society) so it remains to be seen.

Hot Water VS Monkey

I just wanted to post something so our blog's sidebar isn't longer than our recent content -


[ Click to view larger image. ]


Poor monkey.

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Thursday, July 20, 2006

Quiz

1. Have you ever done something stupid to your hair?
2. Have you ever broken a bone?
3. How old were you when you found out there was no Santa Claus?
4. What cartoon character would you most like to have sex with?
5. The first time you ever went online what was your first search query?
6. What color, or shade of color, do you find the most disgusting?
7. When you were a teenager who was your favorite band or singer?
8. What is the weirdest bookmark or favorite that you currently have, go ahead, scroll through them, I'll wait.
9. Have you ever dressed up as a member of the opposite sex for Halloween, or just for fun?
10. Could you go out in public they way you are currently dressed?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Space Filler In Response To Previous Post

I think I've just been too busy to post.
Between work and getting things together for August, I haven't been in the right headspace for posting lately. I would like to post about the humorous answering machine messages I've been leaving an old debt collector who keeps calling about some ancient debt which has had the statute of limitations run out on it years ago; but it wouldn't make for a great post. They really are a pretty hilareous set of messages though. Maybe I could recreate them on audioblog if that wouldn't be too self-indulgent.
Well, that would be way too self-indulgent.

But anyway, here are pics of me breaking into my own house after accidentally locking the keys inside.





Sandra gets points for noticing a handy ladder just as I was about to climb a tree in my swimming suit to get up on the roof.

Got to get to work! Driving to work saves at least three hours every day compared to taking the bus. Still no time to post though.

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Tuesday, July 18, 2006

What the hey...

How come no one is posting, or is the Boz Death Pool still on?

Friday, July 14, 2006

A Boz Family Photo


A Boz Family Photo
Originally uploaded by boz48730.


On Your Knees T-shirt courtesy of Dvl.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

this is an audio post - click to play

Monday, July 10, 2006

Is Any Explanation REALLY Necessary??



And of all places to do this, I did it at a fundraising bowlathon (after all the other teams left.) And I did it in front of my mother, and I made my sister take the picture.

But after all, it is me. And some days they really do feel like this. Espcially when it's ladies night at the bar...

Dr. Juan Bodley, Neck Pain Specialist

(Truthfully, I don't know a DAMN thing about neck surgery...I get my work done from the chin up.)

OK so when Boz gets back around to reading this, this is for him:

Save me some pain pills. Espcially Vicodin, or a generic alternative. It's wonderful stuff.
Codine is good too. Sort of like a cherry flavored whiskey. With a better aftertaste.

Whatever you've got, get me an extra refill.
Friends don't let friends waste good pain pills.
Excelcisor!!

Sunday, July 09, 2006

A candle light vigil would be nice

Heading down to Saginaw tomorrow night at about 6 and will spend the night in a hotel. I'll be checking into the hospital Monday morning at five thirty and surgery is scheduled for seven thirty. I'll be home either Tuesday or Wednesday.
I am putting Jonnie in charge and if I find out that any of you have acted up while I'm gone there will be hell to pay.
See you in a couple of days.
Wish me luck ... and no, despite the rumors, it is not a sex change operation, that's next year.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Another Suckass!!!


When I read this one, I thought of Boz as "our" Dad, and Belle is Dolly. As to who all the other characters are, well, does it really matter?

And then there's the matter of Boz bogarting the stash...share it, man, pass it over to me.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Sandra Soaker

My annual 4th of Juy in the pool was even more notable than usual this year with the availability of Super Soaker high pressure waterguns that were left laying around by the houseowner's children.

So Sandra spent about 2 hours learning all about the American pleasure of recreational gunplay.

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Monday, July 03, 2006

This One's For Boz...


This shot is proof that good things can come from a surgical ward. My dad did this CT (as a test on a new scanner) and this is the bones of my skull post surgery (done in 1990 by the renowned Dr. Ian Jackson of Providence Hospital, Southfield, MI.) This one surgery lasted 10 1/2 hours and I have had a few more since, and still more to come.

For once Boz when someone says "I feel your pain," I think I might know what you mean. While it's a DIFFERENT kind of pain, I'm there for ya brother.

AmyJo in da house!

Hi Kids,
I'm off the mountain to see a doctor for a mysterious infected pustule on my leg. Monking it has made me go literally out of my skin. So some medic saw the site of infection and freaked out and after he ascertained that it wasn't a flesh eating virus he rang the railroad bell and told them to get me the hell off the mountain and to a doctor for some white man's medicine that will kill the infection that is raging in my systerm. No idea what it is or how I got it, but it is grooossss. Really gross.

So I spent my birthday (yesterday) driving all over hell (and yes, civilization is hell) trying to find an open doctor, but they were all closed, so I came down again today for the same purpose, ready to be lanced and to have my wallet skinned once again. I rode down on the Tassajara errand truck (milk, laundry, food for the monks) and I am using the driver's (contraband) computer at a bagel shop somewhere in Pacific Grove.

It freaks me out to be off the mountain. A month of sensory deprivation and I have keen senses, much like Tarzan--so that every sight, smell, sound, and emotion I can whiff like a primitive and it is really overwhelming, but a baby just smiled at me so I feel better. But seriously, spending my time off naked climbing on rocks and catching flies with chopsticks has turned me into a wild jungle queen and being back here on the pavement is really a trip. Everything looks like I am on acid--people's faces, the signage on the highways, the trees, the strange buildings--I am freaking out.

I saw Superman Returns under duress yesterday (the driver wanted to have some fun and picked the movie) and it was horrible. I mean, what with my jungle senses every CGI explosion ricocheted through my chi-field and I left the damn place with a migraine. Plus what with this enlightenment and all, I could see through every damn plot hole and there were too many to fucking bear. Plus the acting just looked so fake. Interesting. So if you ever want to be a movie critic, just hang out in a place with no electricity for a month.

I have no idea what I am saying. Being on a computer is making me feel a little ill. I think I need to rip off my clothes and run back into the jungle now.

Too bad I need antibiotics. my skin hasn't caught up to the rest of me.
Swingin' on a vine
-AmyJo

ps Boz and Jonnie--I got the packages! Danke! Thank you notes via snail mail to follow. But believe me, I loved all of it. THANKS!!

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Boz's Bio & Young Girl

We need a Boz bio too.
I think it should be written by committee with no one person responsible for it.

So everybody please email me their impressions of boz, any trivia or biographical information; and I will cobble it together into a comprehensive boz bio.

Send ASAP to: jonnie's email address

In other news, Sandra and I were craving fried chicken and mashed potatoes today, so we visited the KFC/A&W combo place. Their dining room featured a free jukebox! I requested Young Girl by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap. I thought it would be queued to play later, but the jukebox immediately stopped in mid song and put on Young Girl, which was kind of embarrassing because there was a large family with kids sitting right there and they knew I was the one who requested the song.

Then about halfway through, Sandra exclaimed, "That is a total pedophilia song!" in a shocked tone.

I think we played Young Girl about 20 times while we ate our chicken dinner and I don't think anybody else was amused by it except for us.

I know, I can be immature sometimes -


This statue was originally supposed to be praying.

Send me your boz bios & boz information today!

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JOHNNYC

JohnnyC, aka Johnny Cyclops, aka Juan Corbon, aka Juan Bodley was also born and raised in a small town in Indiana. He attended and graduated from Tech School with some kind of degree in electronics. He has worked in radio both behind the scenes and as an on air talent. JohnnyC is currently working as a well digger's tool bitch, but his real passion is electronics and he is dying to get back into his chosen field.

JohnnyC worships Johnny Bench, drinks Johnny Walker, and knows how to use a Porta Johnny.

JohnnyC likes the Cincinnati Reds baseball team, the Chicago Black Hawks hockey team, Eddie Van Halen, the late Stevie Ray Vaughan, grilled meat, and internet stalking.

JohnnyC will occasionally pop his glass eye out because he knows it impresses the ladies.

If you were to harness JohnnyC's righteous anger you could illuminate a small town for a year.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

AMYJO

AmyJo is a vagabond in the truest sense of the word. Her parents divorced when she was young and after AmyJo's mother got a civil service job with the federal government in the foreign service AmyJo and her two sisters grew up all over the world. Some of the stops she has made along the way include Turkey, Australia, Okinawa, and Korea, I think. Somehow AmyJo ended up attending college at the University of Indiana where she earned some kind of degree in literature or fine arts, or both. After graduating from IU she earned a writing grant from the University of Texas in Austin Texas. According to AmyJo she partied the three years away, but she did manage to compile a book full of short stories, one of which has been published.

Here's the deal, I could tell you all the goofy and funny things that happen to AmyJo, but she might get pissed off at me, or I could tell you all the things about her that make her so special to me, but you'd all just roll your eyes and tell me to get a room, so I'll do neither.

AmyJo likes books, music, the natural look, using ten words when one word would do, and catching poison oak every other week.

Hopefully one day AmyJo will find the contentment and happiness that Hotei, one of her Buddhist inspirations, possesses.

SANDRA

Sandra was born in a small town in Germany, and raised in that same small town by a single parent who just happened to be Sandra's mother. Sandra was a strange teenager who even though she was kind of Gothy she was also the pitcher for her school softball team, and I bet she looked very cute but strange in her softball uniform, and I wonder if she wore fishnets when she pitched. Sandra went to university ... somewhere, and got a degree in ... something. Sandra eventually left her small town in Germany and moved to Hamburg, a much bigger town in Germany because there were more victims for her death cult better employment opportunities. While living in Hamburg Sandra's employment record could best be described as sporadic the low point being when she was turned down for employment by a local pickle company thus inciting the infamous RW ... BS Pickle Boycott of 2005.

Sometime late in 2004 or early 2005 she struck up an online acquaintance with a man who called himself Jonnie Big Balls. Jonnie Big Balls eventually became just plain Jonnie, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Sandra likes Flaming Hot Cheetos, handcuffs, documentaries about submarines, animal print panties, the pirate salute, and invading Poland.

Sandra is the mythical Brunhilde to Jonnie's Hasselhoff.