SANDRA

Sandra was born in a small town in Germany, and raised in that same small town by a single parent who just happened to be Sandra's mother. Sandra was a strange teenager who even though she was kind of Gothy she was also the pitcher for her school softball team, and I bet she looked very cute but strange in her softball uniform, and I wonder if she wore fishnets when she pitched. Sandra went to university ... somewhere, and got a degree in ... something. Sandra eventually left her small town in Germany and moved to Hamburg, a much bigger town in Germany because there were more victims for her death cult better employment opportunities. While living in Hamburg Sandra's employment record could best be described as sporadic the low point being when she was turned down for employment by a local pickle company thus inciting the infamous RW ... BS Pickle Boycott of 2005.

Sometime late in 2004 or early 2005 she struck up an online acquaintance with a man who called himself Jonnie Big Balls. Jonnie Big Balls eventually became just plain Jonnie, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Sandra likes Flaming Hot Cheetos, handcuffs, documentaries about submarines, animal print panties, the pirate salute, and invading Poland.

Sandra is the mythical Brunhilde to Jonnie's Hasselhoff.