What do I know?

Dvl - Her boss is now legal counsel for Girls Gone Wild, so that makes Dvl paralegal counsel for Girls Gone Wild, and I hope I get Dvl as my Secret Santa for the next XIJIFIW.
Belle - Has the bubonic plague which will hopefully either kill her or make her stronger for the Benson 48 hour marathon on TVLand in two weeks.
Jonnie - Is on the lookout for used tires with tread so that he will not slip slide his way to the John Wayne Airport when he picks up the hauntingly beautiful Sandra from the airport on the 10th of June, which by the way is only two days before my birthday on the 12th of June.
Sandra - Is eagerly awaiting her flight to the states where she can once again enjoy her two favorite treats, Jonnie and Red Hot Cheetos, ok, they aren't called Red Hot Cheetos, but they are Cheetos, and they are red hot, but since I don't eat Cheetos I was just taking a stab.
Rosa - Is too busy to scratch her arse, and I really do prefer arse to ass, it sounds so vulgar but in a quaint sort of way. Oh, and she did go to a wine and cheese party which is Australian for she went out and got drunk and picked up a sailor.
AmyJo - She can taste the heavenlyness of Tassajara as we speak, and she told me this time she is going to be head cheerleader or some arses are going to be kicked. They don't really have cheerleaders but, it would be funny if they did, and even funnier to see AmyJo kick some arse.
JohhnyC - Has already hunkered down for the Indy 500 which is happening sometime around the Memorial Day weekend and is grilling meat in anticipation.
Malone - Our baby jesus has been abducted by aliens and is probably being anally probed as I type, or maybe he is just channeling Charles Bukowski and Jack Kirby.