M-alone goes skydiving

Check out Malone's Flickr account and see him go skydiving with Tom Petty.

This may be my biggest score of all time

Mankind by Mick Foley purchased for ten cents at the St Vincent De Paul Thrift Store.



After reading just four chapters I am convinced that our own Rebel Leady Boy is the Mick Foley of the blogging world, because they are both Hard Core to the max.

Gamma Gamma Hey!

Look what I found on the top shelf of my closet -

Hulk Hands, 2006!


[ Click to view larger image. ]

I should've cut a hole in one of them for a St. Patricks Day beer-holder/beer-cozy thing.

Nice shirt Boz

Why thank you, it was a present from my German fan club.



It's the same kind that Elvis Pummel wears.

What The Hell's That Depressed Things Name From Winnie The Pooh?

You Are 40% Happy

You're not miserable, but you could stand to be a lot happier. Focus on what's right in the world, and you'll be happier than you ever thought possible.

How Happy Are You?

Another one for AmyJo

Since my baby pics have become tired with all the changes we've added to them, I decided to pull this one out and let you cats have some fun here.

Before you ask yes this is a real image, a CT of my head post 1990 surgery. The hole above my eyes is still there and you can feel it. This operation took 10 and a half hours and I needed it in more ways than you can realize. (Had I been in a hard enough wreck before this surgery I'd probably be dead.)

I don't see this as dramatic (some may remember Jonnie posting this at one of his old blogs, calling me "Juan Bodley, Amish Porn Star".) Paint this one up and make me laugh. The x-ray scan of the screws (and maybe a "guess how many there are" contest will follow...)

The proof is in the shit you steal...

<--- This is all the stuff I "gathered" at the '06 MGWA convention, held yesterday at Grand Rapids, MI. (Yes Boz and I were in the same state yesterday and it didn't fall into Lake Michigan.) You can see the door prize shirt at the bottom, the lanyards to the left, all the pens and pencils, and of course the HATS!! (It looks like only 4 hats, but the Franklin Electric hats and the Red Jacket Pump hats are stacked up.)









<---What this pic represents are all the hats I've gotten over the past 3 years while being a well driller's Tool Bitch. In front are the "06 haul (so far...one of our suppliers has a beer and beef bash this summer, and there's reps there, as well as more hats to come.) In the back are the previous years hauls; the black hat with the circular logo (Goulds Pumps) started the whole "JohnnyC Steals Hats At The Convention" craze. Of them all I'd say the Well-X-Trol hat at the back left (the camoflauge hat) is the one I wear most of the time.

Now go get yourselves some hats.

Under where? Under there.

What Your Underwear Says About You

You like to think of yourself as innocent, even though you're not! You are childlike (or childish), and prone to run around in your underwear.

The Underwear Oracle

Happy Birthday

Your Birthdate: June 12

You're a dynamic, charismatic person who's possibly headed for fame. You tend to charm strangers easily. And you usually can get what you want from them. Verbally talented, you tend to persuade people with your speaking and writing. You are affectionate and loving, but it's hard for you to commit to any one relationship. Your strength: Your charm Your weakness: Your extreme manipulation tactics Your power color: Indigo Your power symbol: Four leaf clover Your power month: December

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Hot town, summer in the city

You Are Austin

A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll. You're totally weird and very proud of it. Artistic and freaky, you still seem to fit in... in your own strange way. Famous Austin residents: Lance Armstrong, Sandra Bullock, Andy Roddick

What American City Are You?

Here's the story of a lovely lady ...

You Are Jan Brady

Brainy and a little introverted, you tend to think life is a lot worse than it actually is. And while you may think you're a little goofy looking, most people consider you to be a major babe.

What Brady Are You?

Thursday is now quiz day

You Are Homer Simpson

You're just an ordinary, all-American working Joe... With a special fondness for pork rinds and donuts. You will be remembered for: your little "isms" and philosophies on life Your life philosophy: "Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel."

The Simpsons Personality Test

For the fantastic AmyJo...

Because I stalk her with wit and finesse, I offer this pic to AmyJo, to show that I've had it in for her since I was but a wee lad, still all put together, and fantastic from head to toe (and in certain places inbetween...)

So print this one off and use it when you file for the restraining order, AmyJo...and then the world will regret that we never got our freak on together.

Arrivaderci to that pipe dream...

The well driller's bounty...

OK so today was the Michigan Ground Water Association's convention at Grand Rapids, and I was there. (In case you were wondering we go to Michigan's show it's because the Indiana convention is pathetic, according to the boss of the Tool Bitch, Steve.) And of course I was on a mission for new hats. Always new hats. Not that I need hats mind you, it's just that the exhibitors know, like I said earlier, well drillers (and their tool bitches) like hats.

Today I got 6.
One from Preferred Pump, two from Franklin Electric, two from Red Jacket Pumps, and one from Goulds Pumps. Along with a t-shirt I won as a door prize from Johnson Screens (no they're not a condom company!!;) I got a ruler, 4 notepads, 3 notebooks, a cheap pocketknife, 3 keyrings, 5 lanyards, 8 pens, and 13 pencils. And some damn good well information. So if you want to know about constant pressure pumps, I'm the tool bitch with the down low.
And I'll say this: these companies hand out the candy like it's Halloween there. All sorts of candy for Johnny...mmmm, candy!!

It's a great day for hats!!

Pics of this excess of five-fingering at the convo. may come later, or maybe not. We shall see.

Elvis Pummel demands your comments

Gott in himmel, I'm Elvis Pummel.

2006 Years Of Culture...

Mommy
Daddy
Gum
Shoes
Nails
Sex
Pot
Weed
Flowers
Stamen
Ramen
Noodles
Brains
Zombies
Hungry
Want
Need
Thirsty
Milk
Breast
Mommy
Daddy
Gum
Shoes
Nails
Sex
Pot
Weed
Flowers
Stamen
Ramen
Noodles
Brains
Zombies
Hungry
Want
Need
Thirsty
Milk
Breast
Mommy
Daddy
Gum
Shoes
Nails
Sex
Pot
Weed
Flowers
Stamen
Ramen
Noodles
Brains
Zombies
Hungry
Want
Need
Thirsty
Milk
Breast
Mommy
Daddy
Gum
Shoes
Nails
Sex
Pot
Weed
Flowers
Stamen
Ramen
Noodles
Brains
Zombies
Hungry
Want
Need
Thirsty
Milk
Breast

Mmmmm...chicken.

Too Much Caffeine

Rock On!!!

Say no to Michigan

This post originally said that I wasn't going to the well driller's convention tomorrow (Wednesday...) but now I've found out (at 9:30 PM) that I'll be going.

So now I'm somewhat happier.

But on Friday I see the general surgeon about my GALLBLADDER. And how much surgery will cost. So in reality I'm in a state of flux.

AmyJo, Boz, Jonnie, Sandra, Rosa, All of Blogdom, I apologize for taking it out on you.
Sister Jennifer of the Convent of the Hello Kitty, you will still take my grief.

Fun in Michigan!

Tomorrow is a fabulous day for Midwestern well drillers...I'll be attending the Michigan Ground Water Association's convention at Grand Rapids. Rigs, bits, pipe, valves, tanks, all the goodies that well drillers use every day (at least when they're working!!) But I only go for one reason: free hats. Several companies give out hats to drillers (and their tool bitches - that would be me) because we never turn down a free toque. So hopefully tomorrow night (or Thursday) I'll have some pics of my bounty-haul from the 2006 MGWA show. And we'll all go deep in the hole.

Juan Bodley, Bootlegger...

I'm trying to stretch my technical boundaries today...I've got 3 DVDs I'm going to try and burn just the audio off of them for my own in-car, in-ear rock and roll experience. The discs are:

Metallica's Cunning Stunts
Van Halen's Live Without A Net (featuring a blistering solo on "5150"-Eddie at his best echoplex)
Stevie Ray Vaughn's Live At Austin Texas (the 2 times he was on the PBS show Austin City Limits...his takes on his own "Texas Flood" and Jimi's "Voodoo Chile" still make me shiver)

If I'm successful I'll be smiling for a week. If not I've wasted CDs on useless endeavors. Updates will follow. Bootlegs may also appear at your local Goodwill...keep an eye out for them.

Look out Hasselhoff

There is a new king of German pop music.
Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce ...
Elvis Pummel!!!



Sandra, why have you been keeping him to yourself?
(Right click on link and open in new window.)

Regional slang

Jonnie's Linguistic Quiz reminded me of an unusual slang word, and it's meaning, that was common to only certain parts of the south that I first encountered back in 1969 when I enlisted in the air force.
If you said you needed some cock it actually meant that you needed some pussy.
Is anyone else familiar with that term?
Do you know any other regional slang terms?

Sunday Quiz Day

Your Linguistic Profile:

80% General American English

15% Yankee

5% Upper Midwestern

0% Dixie

0% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

I can't help it

This is a masterpiece.





Not Ready For Real World ... Blogger Style

NRFRW ... BS

Blog Update

Uh Oh.

I think im on heat.

I had a date yesterday with an American boy, it was fun.

But the thing is i still want the one that i cant have. its not that i cant have him its just that..

I dont think he wants me.

The American is sweet and handsome, shy and very very cute..

the other one is an offensive brute.

Bloody hell..

Im going to go sit on the washing machine.

A request denied

A request fulfilled...

Jonnie, you said this pic would be better if I had an eyepatch; so here ya go!!

666

So, if everything goes as well as it has been so far, then I'm going to move in at Jonnie's place on june 6th.

06/06/06.

And yes, we chose that date because it's so easy to remember.

And yes, I'm going to take the same airline that offered free Playboy magazines and calendars and I'm going to take it for that very reason.

And no, I didn't say "you can stop crossing your fingers for our visa process" because I can still fuck it up (on april 10 (medical) and on may 9 (final interview)).

Thank you for your attention.

Y' Know...

I'm not in the mood to be clever.

Each letter that I type is like a silent fart.

JohnnyC. Calls the RW...BS Radio Show!!

OK so there's no radio show here...just thought you'd all like to hear my dulcet tones eminating from yer computer speakerz again. Enjoy!

JohnnyC.-the early yearz

Found this in the computer the other day...it was there for a DVD that my sister made for my grandparents' 60th anniversary party. This is one of a FEW pics of me that exist with both eyes. This I think was at (maybe) 6 months. There's just not that many of me like this because, well, who knew??

I like that even way back then (1971 for you who don't know my age) I had the stoner look and I've never done any drugs, except for Vicodin within the past 5 years. Love that stuff!!

So there he is. Now you know why I don't reproduce.

sexual tension is GO

Welcome Kevvyn.

I'm hoping that this is just what is needed to FINALLY get us together..


p.s... You complete me.

It was only a matter of time

Rip-off is the sincerest form of flattery ... or is it?
Click click click

As I was motivating over the hill ...

If someone else doesn't post soon I'm going to have to change the name of the blog to
The Grand Ennui Annex.

Al's last babble on

So anyway ...

Ten things I know about Malone

1. He chews with his mouth open.
2. He spent five years in a Menudo tribute band.
3. He is a hit man for the Vietnamese Mafia.
4. He is Stewie's stand-in on the Family Guy.
5. He caused the rift between Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie.
6. He is the baby jesus.
7. His real name is Melvin Kalzone.
8. He is working on a scientific thesis that states that girls really do have cooties.
9. If given the chance he would drink Natalie Portman's old bath water and then brag about it.
10. He is morbidly obese and hasn't left his bedroom for five years and he spends his days watching his bootlegged tape collection of The Price is Right that date back over 30 years.

Geez, I look like the little asian kid from THE GOLDEN CHILD...

Hi.

My name is Kevynn Malone.
I will be here forever.
I am a big, fat piggie.

Please give me beer and small, individually wrapped candies.

NOW.

A new house member

Who is the mysterious new house member???

Teriyaki Jerky, Take One

My first jerky

After being chided by both Sandra and Jonnie about never having tried beef jerky I went to Klenow's Market today and bought some home smoked jerky. They had about 15 different varieties including many types of beef, and they also had turkey, elk, and a few other kinds of strange beastie jerky. I couldn't believe how expensive it is. All varieties are $16.99 but the butcher told me that this time of year they have a different variety on sale for half price every week. This week's special was teriyaki flavored beef jerky. I was a little leary but the butcher gave me a sample and it was pretty good, so I bought a quarter of a pound. It's hard to tell from just a little sample but the teriyaki does seem kind of hot or spicy, or both. The butcher seemed very proud of his jerky. He told me that their best seller was regular beef jerky, followed by turkey jerky, and I think he said the number three seller was mild beef jerky, and then after that I quit paying attention to what he was saying.
Bon Appetit!!!

Pics of the loot from Jonnie

The cassettes in my Doc Marten shoe box.



Jonnie's cover art I.



Jonnie's cover art II.



Chinese fortune cookie fortunes in English, and Jonnie's 30 regular ass sticker.



The other side of the Chinese fortune cookie fortunes in Spanish.



The shirt, you can tell I like it because my nipple is hard.

Do you have Prince Albert in the can?

Phone messages for Jonnie.
About five minutes of random telephone messages left for Jonnie when he was in Alaska in 1998.

Package from Jonnie

Listen as Boz describes the contents of his package from Jonnie.

Actually, I prefer Joan

Which John Cusack Are You?

Noooooooooooooooo

Which "Saved By The Bell" Character Are You?

Sunday Quiz Night

Which singer who had his greatest success in the 70s and 80s recorded this Dylanesque song in 1967?

Sunday Quiz Day

I'm Posh - Go, Me!

Which Spice Girls Personality Do You Resemble?



You're Victoria Beckham.

Take this quiz!

In honor of Jonnie and Sandra's 2nd anniversary I had a dream about them

And this was before I even realized that it was their anniversary.

I wasn't in the dream, I was just sort of watching it like one would watch tv, so maybe Jonnie and Sandra had their own reality based tv show, and how cool would that be.

Anyway, in the dream Jonnie and Sandra were having a conversation when Sandra looks down at her watch and excitedly says:
Oh my god, I have to go run laps.

Jonnie thinks this is incredibly funny and he starts mimicking what Sandra had just said in a very broad and fake German accent.

This really pisses Sandra off, and as she is leaving she starts yelling at Jonnie, and the more she yells the faster she yells, and the faster she yells the more pronounced her accent is, and as her accent becomes more pronounced her yelling becomes a mixture of both English and German ...

Jonnie is practically rolling on the floor by now convulsed in laughter.

And I'm sitting there watching the Jonnie and Sandra Reality Show and saying to myself:
Wow, this is really good.

Two Years - Two Redpops

The two Redpops that Boz sent have been chilling for days and I think today is the day to break them open -


Today is also my & Sandra's 2nd anniversary, so I have one Redpop for each year.

I think next year, boz should send 3 Redpops on our anniversary.

The label is different, but I hope they haven't tampered with the recipe.

Ice Ice Baby

satellite pic of Central and Northern Europe from a few days ago; click to enlarge

No, not nuclear fall-out. Snow. Ice. Snow and Ice. Lots of each. All is white. Plus a couple of yellow spots. Better steer clear of those, I tell you.

Shoes

So yeah, Jonnie needs a new pair of shoes, and I bet he is the only one who ends up not getting a pair.
Here is the pair of Doc Martens I bought yesterday.



Like I really need another pair of shoes.

Legion of Substitute Bloggers

We are going to start a "Legion of Substitute Bloggers" for emergencies and to make us feel superior.


Each RW...BSer is to appoint a substitute blogger. I will nominate my brother Todd.

We should appoint a liaison (like Boz) and send the liaison our nominees' email addresses so the liason can contact them and notify them of their obligations.

The Legion of Substitute Bloggers will have their own blog and will provide additional drama and action through their own interactions and their interactions with the RW...BS parent blog. The Legion of Substitute Bloggers will furthermore serve as a means of harvesting new RW...BS members on an ongoing basis.

Once the original seed group of Substitute Bloggers is nominated, they will run as an independent blog and are free to handle all recruitment and dismissal activity for that blog as they see fit. Once the group starts blogging, they are free to nominate a technical administrator from their ranks or to have the RW...BS liaison act as technical site administrator as they see fit.

So post your nominations for substitute bloggers in the comments.

The Face On The Milk Carton

Jonnie's Footwear dilemma solved!

OK Mr. Rebel Leady Boy...here's your shoe/boot/monk shoe problem solved in one easy search of Zappos.com.

I have a pair of these (as anybody reading the zonk knows) and I love them!! I've had mine for 10 years and even as my feet got wider these bad boys take a lickin' and keep on kickin'!!

If you look closely you'll notice that your Gov. Ahnold wore this same style in the first Terminator movie. None better for the man with the robot eye, none better for the dude with the plastic eye.

Drop a dime and order up Jonnie!! Sandra will love her Terminator Leady Boy in a kick ass pair of these!!! Ain't lyin' to ya!!

Footwear Answers

Jonnie check out these links at Zappos dot com.
Great deals and free shipping on all purchases.
These are all marked down to $39.95.
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/8015520/c/3.html
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/10110995/c/27040.html
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/6932169/c/3.html
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/9538437/c/18.html
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/9526891/c/139.html
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/8407833/c/32408.html
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/10116543/c/126.html
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/9800051/c/72.html
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/6454127/c/15959.html
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/10478820/c/4830.html
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/5173751/c/325.html
http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/7891860/c/6.html

Footwear Question

I need new footwear. My work boots are worn down and they have dried cement all over them -


My sneakers suck. I don't want to wear my Doc Martens everyday either, they aren't ideal to work in.

So I'm gonna get new shoes, maybe something a litte more formal than a sneaker, but with a sneaker's comfort level. And I don't want to shop around at all.

I thought I'd ask what the cool shoe is these days. Since I have no idea. I figured it would be smart to get some advice first, then I won't have to waste time browsing.

I don't want to buy basketball player endorsed sneakers. Aside from basketball player endorsed sneakers, Is there a cool shoe these days?

Does it matter? I don't think it matters, but if I'm buying a pair anyway, I'd rather buy a pair that doesn't draw negative attention.

Boz does Prine

Come Back to Us Barbara Lewis Hare Krishna Beauregard

Juan Bodley goes to the doc...

...and finds out that unless I get my gallbladder taken out there's not much to do for it. So in the next week here I've got to schedule an appointment with a general surgeon and see what he/she says.

Since I'm going through the free clinic system, I've got to prove how much I make (or don't make) and get a letter from anyone supporting me (the parents) so by the time this is done I may just have to deal with the pain, take a job somewhere (READ: The EVIL EMPIRE: tire and lube express) and let my OTHER Uncle Sam pay for it. I've had to do more proving of how much I make lately than people have visited New Orleans. I just wish I'd kept my fucking mouth shut when I worked at the TV station; I might still have a job there.

I'll keep ya'll posted. BTW: the last few weeks, I've cut fat and junk WAY out of my diet, and I feel TONS better. Like I said this comes and goes. Oh well.

Audio Birthday Post

Happy Birthday Rosa!!!

Hey, I just remembered ...

Monday, and it is probably already Monday in Australia, is Rosa Posa Posa Posa's 25th birthday!!!
I think that calls for Rosa Posa Posa Posa Birthday Audioposts through tomorrow.
Happy Birthday Rosa Posa Posa Posa!!!
Why don't you show everyone the madly expensive birthday card and present I sent you???
Because we all know that even though it is your birthday it is still all about me!

Media Mail

Boz's media mail package has been sent -

Faygo Redpop Exchange.

Video killed the radio star

The Velcro Monkey of Doom ... Speaks!!!

Another guitar to drool over...

In my last post I said in unflattering terms that I wanted the guitar that James Hetfield was holding. Well, my friends, I may have been lying. I really want this guitar. You may recognize it; yes, it's Mr. Edward Van Halen's 5150 Kramer guitar, also called "Frankenstein." (that name came from the fact that the original was a mixture of parts from different manufacturers, mainly the neck was from Charvel, and this one is a Kramer neck.)

If any of you Cali people want to have a friend forever, you'll wait for Ed to get drunk and then sneak into his studio (also called 5150) and swipe this mother for me to wail on.
I might trade an eye for it.
An eye for an axe.
What a deal.