Ten things I know about Malone

1. He chews with his mouth open.
2. He spent five years in a Menudo tribute band.
3. He is a hit man for the Vietnamese Mafia.
4. He is Stewie's stand-in on the Family Guy.
5. He caused the rift between Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie.
6. He is the baby jesus.
7. His real name is Melvin Kalzone.
8. He is working on a scientific thesis that states that girls really do have cooties.
9. If given the chance he would drink Natalie Portman's old bath water and then brag about it.
10. He is morbidly obese and hasn't left his bedroom for five years and he spends his days watching his bootlegged tape collection of The Price is Right that date back over 30 years.