Bitches Hit Me and Other Things You Shouldn't Know About JohnnyC

1. Bitches hate my sense of humor.
2. Bitches steal my eye at bars.
5. Bitches hate it when I post out of order.
4. Bitches hang up on me when I prank call.
3. Bitches are bitches to me.

Chicks dig my glasses, and other fallacies concerning chicks and Boz

1. Chicks dig my glasses



2. Chicks dig my hearing loss.
3. Chicks dig my webbed toes.
4. Chicks dig my spinal fusions.
5. Chicks dig that I am touch with my feminine side, but only up to a point.
6. Chicks dig my knowledge of Manifest Destiny.
7. Chicks dig the oblique references I make to Shemp Howard.
8. Chicks dig what I'm packing.
9. Chicks dig that I often confuse Star Wars for Star Trek.
10. Chicks dig the dark side of Boz.

And We'll All Praise The Big Boy...

This is a post-Thanksgiving present for one Jonnie (and Sandra...she may never have been to a Big Boy but she must bow before him too...)

This is a part of the video to Big Butter Jesus, a song done by Heywood Banks on the Bob and Tom Show...the hosts may be boring but the comedy is excellent!!! (It's on YouTube...put in Big Butter Jesus and giggle yer ass off!!!)

Cat Thanksgiving

Video footage from me and Sandra's first annual Cat Thanksgiving:

Part I, Introduction:



Part II, Free-for-All:

Inspired by JohnnyC

The annual RW...BS hayride:


[ Click to view larger image. ]

Ya Gotta See This...

For the music lovers (or haters) Juan Bodley Productions, in association with Juan Bodley International Films, presents...

The Battle Of The Bands!!!

Random Thoughts...

Consider these whilst feasting and then submit yer answers ASAP...

1. What character from Star Trek (the original) would you vote for to be President of the USA?
2. If you could turn a veggie into gasoline (other than corn) which would you choose?
3. Name one Golden Girl.
4. Now name another female.
5. Who would you rather see on the U.S. dollar bill, Bob Seger or Ike Turner?
6. Pick a number between 1 and 47.
7. Have you ever purchased Goodyear tires?
8. Could you willingly push the button to implode a Taco Bell?
9. Have you ever listened to a Motorhead song of your own free will?
10. If Bill Gates sued you, could you win?

Thanks For What...

So in the days leading up to Turkey Squat '06 I've been a framing contractor, an auto body man, and a mover. (Since my dad's prostate surgery he can't lift more than 10 lbs, so I'm the fucking family pack mule and grunt.) So since I can't take my aggressions out on my old man, I thought I'd do it here. And disguise it as a thanks list. (There's also one over at JB's Hell...compare and there will be a quiz later.)

And I can "truly" say I'm thankful for...
-The McRib sandwich at McDonald's.
-Cheap sex with unknown women.
-Jack Daniels and Jim Beam...fine businessmen.
-Fort Wayne Komet hockey...because Michigan hockey is inferior.
-Metallica and the legions of fans like me who keep it going.
-Duracell batteries.
-The Clapper.
-My comrades on this blog who allow me to write shit like this.
-Pontiac, because I'm tired of Chevy.
-___________________________ (this is a fill in the blank one...)

And for those thanks I've left out well just get in line and cry about it why don't ya???
Now go and get sloppy drunk on tryptophan tomorrow!!!

Krishna Das vs. John Denver

John Denver kicks ass ... or PENIS!!!

Amyjo update

She hates Krishna Das as much as most people hate John Denver.
She is a little depressed and felt like she might feel better if she could hit someone, so one of her friends took off his glasses and said she could hit him, but she couldn't do it.
She will be having Nutloaf for Thanksgiving dinner.
She wants turkey for Thanksgiving dinner. (Don't tell anyone, but I sent her a bag of Dove Chocolate Miniatures and some Slim Jims today, and maybe that will ease the "No Turkey For AmyJo" cravings.
She has been doing the Zen Vogue Icelandic Shuffle with her gay friend who is from Iceland, hence the Icelandic part of the Zen Vogue Icelandic Shuffle, and he is an awesome dancer mostly because he is a gay European, and she's just pretty good for a white girl.
I guess that's it.

Porn as art by Boz

New RW Challenge

JohnnyC had a spectacular idea when he posted his own pornographic drawings.

I encourage all RW...BS! members to follow JohnnyC's example by posting their own homemade pornography.

Here is mine, I did a Thanksgiving theme:


Thanks for the Porn, Or Stuffing the Turkey.

[ Click to view larger image. ]

Scraps of Porn

I'm still mad I lost my Sleaze CD-ROM which contained about 6 years' collected porn and sleaze as well as the outtakes from the porn site I used to webmaster. A thorough search of my hard drive turned up only a few notable articles:

1. While Trevor Brown is best known for his sadomasochistic paintings of Japanese girls, I thought this was a notable departure for him -


Sexy Hulk.

2. I'm not sure where this came from, but it has a bear and a toaster in it -


Sexy Toaster.

3. Alien Sex Fiend #6 -


Alien Sex Fiend #6.
So I've pretty much scraped the bottom of the barrel.

Porn for the Blind #2

Entitled New Masturbation Girl and it is presented by I Feel Myself Dot Com.

Porn for the Blind #2

For Those We've Left Out...

If Picasso Did Porn...

Well, not Pablo Picasso...maybe Giovanni Picasso, or Jimmy Picasser, or some shit like that.

I couldn't stand to not put my fingerprints on this fabulous week (that includes my birthday; what a way to build up to it!!!) without something "original"...

This is titled "Black and Gray Blow Away."

A 30 second "master"piece if I do say so myself.

A "PG" Porn Week Addition...

(Because there are children in this house, I cannot access the "good shit" for Porn Week.)

So I offer a giggle instead.

Screw you if it ain't funny.

What would Porn Week be without Tijuana Bibles?

Tijuana Bibles

Porn for the blind as narrated by Boz

Ok, I knew I could do better than the guys over at Porn for the Blind, and guess what ... I did.
Here's a little PFTB entitled:
Blow Job In The Shower!

Gabcast! Porn for the Blind by Boz

Even the sightless get horny

Porn for the blind.

From the Feel Good Night Scrapbook

My favorite Hustler comic:


[ Click to view larger image. ]

And I thought this was pretty funny too:



Yay Porn Week!

Rosa Posa does her part to support Porn Week on RW ... BS

Johnny VS the Siff

A cautionary tale for everybody to keep in mind during Porn Week:


Johnny consults Boz:

Porn week continues

Rate the nude photo.

Yay Porn Week!

May it grow into a monster.

PS:
I scanned this out of one of my old scrapbooks about a year ago and haven't had an occasion to post it until now:


It's a penis chin-strap thing. I wish I would've saved the name of it.
Does anybody have any lesbionic* videos of the penis chin-strap thing in action?


*Is "lesbionic" in the urban dictionary? If not, I will add it. I may have invented it, or I may have learned it somewhere. It combines "lesbian" and "bionic". It would be a good idea for a makeover show.

Boz salutes "It's Porn Week on RW ... BS"

My porn pick of the day:
Gothix Goth and Punk Rock Pinup Girls

UPDATE: Ehhh, not as good as I thought it was.
This is my favorite gallery of the bunch.

Jonnie had an idea ...

To stir up a little interest in the blog.
So It's official!!!

A Barely Adequate Solution

The IHOP in Orange has this sign posted in the men's room stall:


The text reads:

Please Don't Throw
Paper In Toilet
Thank You

Before I could wonder where I was supposed to throw my toilet paper, I looked down and saw this thoughtfully provided receptacle:


I decided to just not use the toilet at all.

When I returned nearly two months later, the sign and receptacle were still there.

I just thought that's kind of a cheap fix for a business trying to overcome a plumbing problem. Especially in a financially upscale OC community.

Congratulations on your penny pinching, IHOP! Why hire a plumber when you can just ask your patrons to throw their toilet paper in a bucket?

So, what's going on with you?

The supermarket that closed down in July re-opened today under new ownership.
They had some good sales that I took advantage of.
2% Milk for $1.88 a gallon.
Campbell's Cream of Broccoli, Chicken, or Celery, with the pull tab top for 58 cents a can.
Frozen vegetables, including cauliflower, broccoli, green beans, peas, or mixed vegetables 79 cents for a 16 ounce bag.
They also have a 99 cent aisle and a lot of other good stuff which I really didn't scope out too much tonight because I really only went there to get milk.

I ordered my thanksgiving dinner from the other supermarket today.
For $29.99 you get the Thanksgiving Dinner Classic, which includes a 10-12 lb Butterball Turkey and a choice of 4 side dishes.
The side dishes I picked were:
Mashed potatoes
Dressing
Candied Yams
and
Dinner rolls
I could have gotten the Thanksgiving Dinner Supreme for $39.99 which included two extra side dishes, that's it, for ten dollars more you get two freakin' extra side dishes, which means you're paying five dollars each per extra side dish!
The side dishes I didn't pick and the reason(s) why included:
Gravy (you can buy a can of turkey gravy for 69 cents)
Cranberry sauce (you can also buy a can of cranberry sauce, jelly or berry for 69 cents)
Apple or Pumpkin pie (I already bought 2 Sara Lee Pumpkin and 2 Sara Lee Apple Pies, and they only cost like $1.79 each)
And
Green bean casserole (yuck)

More stuff is going on with me, but that's it for now ...

Oh, the Rite-Aid drugstore had Halloween candy for 75% off, which means they didn't have a real good selection, but I did get an 11 ounce bag of Reeses's Peanut Butter Cups marked down from $3.39 to 84 cents.

Oh, and I've lost 5 pounds in two weeks on my diet.

Fish Heads...

No fishing allowed...

adopt your own virtual pet!

This is still my favorite Emo Blog post

Dad, why are you such a hater?
Jonnie is buddy_nob and the second anonymous.
I am the first anonymous and dhd_me (dr hunter douglas_me).
And the rest are real people, I guess.

Let's Show Them How the Pros Do It

November's inspirational slogan from the UPS calander which was given to me for free by our UPS man at begining of 2006:


Let's Show Them How the Pros Do It.
Wa-hoo! Replace "UPS" with "RW...BS!" and aren't you all ashamed for not posting more often?

More boredom on Saturday night

Click the MORE button.

adopt your own virtual pet!

Saturday night boredom

adopt your own virtual pet!

Shazbot.

I still have to show my ID when buying beer - which is nice.
I still have to feed my brain and penis steroids - which is not.

A moment of silence for audioblogger

Final Final Final Farewell Audioblog