JohnnyC Weekend

Seperated at birth

Hello, I'm Hervé Villechaize for Fantasy Brand Condoms

JohnnyC Weekend

A JohnnyC Limerick
There once was a young man named Bodley
Who was into auto racing totally
He'd sit on the grass
And as the race cars roared past
He'd pleasure himself most choadily

JohnnyC Weekend!

Welcome to JohnnyC Weekend in which we will post celebratory limericks about JohnnyC based on the "last line" collection posted on today's Rebel Leady Boy post.

And I just scanned this classic JohnnyC photo which I call Happy Birthday -


Slicing your throat right over your birthday cake is a pretty badass thing to do.

Talkin' World War III Blues

by Bob Dylan

Who Killed Davey Moore?

A Bob Dylan folk classic sang from the What-A-Lot-A-Pizza parking lot -

Red Light

Rock On!

This is even better than finding a golfball in the asphalt of Von's supermarket -


[ Click to view larger image ]
Somebody wrote "'Rock and Roll Will Never Die' - AC/DC" in my workplace's parking lot.

That song, "Rock and Roll Aint Noise Pollution" is being used in a Nike ad now and it reminds me of what a great song that was. I think I need to re-stock my empty AC/DC titles. Perhaps I can find them used at Millenium Music.

This post is dedicated to JohnnyC who just hooked me up with 4 heavy metal CDs.

Rock On, JohnnyC!!

Boz gets a package in the mail

A song dedicated to JohnnyC

Click Click

Thanks For All Of The Beers...

I am too too distracted to write anything right now.
I miss my old typewriter and almost bought one today on break.
I don't know why I didn't.
I love writing on typewriters.
I love not having any other complications than the amount of space to write on getting shorter
and shorter
You learn to get to the point
or you just give in to laziness

There is nothing wrong with this.

Surfer Girl

AmyJo's stupid jokes

The following jokes were memorized from a Laffy Taffy wrapper when I worked in the Center Store of my dorm, circa 1994. The jokes, I assume, were Laffy Taffy's lame attempt to be even lamer than Bazooka Joe.

Q. What is the difference between zombies and darned socks?
A. One is dead men, the other is mended.

Zombie One to Zombie Two: Drop dead!
Zombie Two: I already did!
Zombie One: Well, get a life, then!
Zombie Two: I can't, I'm dead!

(I am pretty sure I told this one wrong. I think the punchline was slightly less lame. Also, I had to sort of wing the last two lines of dialogue. Let it be known that AmyJo kills jokes. Even jokes about the undead.)

The answer to yesterday's stupid quiz...

The answer to the picture I posted yesterday was:

It's the transmitters for WOWO radio. The white one is their new one, the blue one is from the 70s.

And I'm the only person within a 175 mile radius that gives a rats ass about it. I just wanted to use the pic for a pointless post so you all would not question my insanity. It exists.

Juan Bodley tells a bad joke...

This woman walks into human resources at her job and tells the manager, "I want to file harassment charges against Mitch Andrews."
The manager asks why, and the woman says, "Every morning he comes up to me and says "Gee your hair smells terriffic!""
The manager says "What's wrong with that?"
The woman says "It's Mitch Andrews, the midget."

Stupid Joke Tuesday

Rosa Posa Posa Posa Etcetera walks into a supermarket and buys ten jars of Vegemite the cashier says to Rosa Posa Posa Posa Etcetera "That certainly is a lot of Vegemite" and Rosa Posa Posa Posa Etcetera replies "Shaddup you stupid git, I'm really really really hungry".

booooooooooing!

SJT

A lady was on a plane arriving from USA. She found herself seated next to a nice priest, to whom she said, "Excuse me, Father, could I ask a favor?""Of course! What can I do for you?"

"Here's the problem... I bought myself a new hair remover instrument for which I paid an huge amount of money. I have really gone over the declaration limits and I am worried that they will confiscate it at customs. Do you think you could hide it under your cassock?"

Father said "Of course I can, my child, but I will not lie."
"You have such an honest face, I am sure they will not ask you any question," and she gave him the hair remover.

The aircraft arrived at its destination. When the priest presented himself to customs he was asked, "Father, do you have anything to declare?"

"From the top of my head to my sash, I have nothing to declare, my son," he replied.Finding this reply strange, the customs officer asked, "

"And from the sash down, what do you have?"

The priest replied, "I have a marvelous little instrument there destined for use by women, but which has never been used.

"Breaking out in laughter, the customs officer said, "Go ahead Father Next One!"



***********************************
THINGS YOU DONT WANNA HEAR DURING SURGERY

* Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness!
* Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?
* Damn, there go the lights again...
* You know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of them.
* Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
* Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.
* What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...
* Anyone see where I left that scalpel?
* This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
* Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donor card?
* Don't worry; I think it's sharp enough.
* She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover.
FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out of here.

Stupid joke tuesday

Do it.. morons!


A couple goes to an art gallery. They find a picture of a naked
women with only her privates covered with leaves. The wife
doesn't like it and moves on but the huband keeps looking.

The wife asks, "What are you waiting for?"

The husband replies, "Autumn."

Juan Bodley posts nothing!!

OK so this is more of a "I know what these are, do you?" post.

1.) They're on 1190. At least one is, the other is a backup.
2.) I say I want to blow one up.
3.) Purple Viper, Jonnie, and maybe AmyJo might know that these are in Roanoke, IN, just off of U.S. 24.
4.) I want to work here!! (Although this is only one of maybe 8 sites this company has in the Fort Wayne area.)

Any guesses what these are??? The winner (if she's hot) gets me for a night at the Motel 6.

Random shit from JohnnyC. (again!!)

I'm going through the beginnings of the interview process with Cinergy Communications for a job as a video engineering tech, out of Indianapolis. (I love Indy and I'd like to be there.) Cinergy is building a video on fiberoptic service from Evansville to Indy and I would have the task of keeping the video true. I can do it.

Boz and Jonnie, be on the lookout for CDs landing in your mailboxes soon. (Jonnie, it was cheaper to send these 1st Class than Media Mail; I added some more stuff to them and packed them full.) There's some bumper stickers for 2 of my fave radio stations in there. I just hope I burned them error-free; the songs all came off CDs in my collection. Boz may not like the stuff on his so I say use the discs as coasters or hang one from your rearview mirror (if it hasn't fallen down like my Beretta's...can't trust Chevy anymore!!)

Peace out bitches.

Oddity

Is anyone missing a golfball?

Buried underneath the asphalt in Von's parking lot is a golfball -

And it looks like it's trying to get out -


[ Click to view larger image ]

Maybe Von's built their parking lot over a golf course.

weeeeeeee

Post anything

My new blog.
http://fourque.blogspot.com/

Ode to twisties

Oh dear twisties
youre crunchy and cheesy
and make my fingers orange.



How i wish to hold you in my arms.

Post anything weekend

My underpants drawer

Post Anything!!

I love the occasional Post Anything Days (or Weekend) because there are always a few things on my hard drive that I have no reason to post which have just been sitting there forever and I'm getting kind of tired of seeing on my desktop but I don't want to just delete them.

Such as -

Pics from my August, 2005 visit to Missouri's Harry Truman Museum.


Jonnie with eyepatch at Harry Truman's burial site.

Post-WWII poster.

Give 'Em Hell, Harry! - Truman in his Freemason Gear.

And, let's see...

I'll throw this in -


And....
Oh, what the Hell -

Post anything on rw ... bs weekend

Really gay looking Russian figure skaters.

Juan Bodley, Your Ring Announcer...

Beyond The Book of Lists 2

I was ill last weekend and didn't have the chance to post the rest of boz's latest parcel. He really went all out and The Book of Lists 2 was just the appetizer.

Also included:

1. A trilogy of discount videos - Bubba Ho-Tep, Beyond the Mat, and The New Kids On The Block Hangin' Tough. A little something for everybody. Beyond the Mat puts the other two to shame though.

2. A handmade punk rock CD carrier filled to bursting with a great selection of burned CDs, most notably an entire punk & new wave box set (retail value - $119.00).

[ Click to view larger image. ]

3. A great selection of promotional items from local E. Tawas businesses and an E. Tawas community guide. The promotional items are mainly pens and magnets (which I always have a use for).



I'd also like to add that two of the magnets were easily the largest magnets I've ever seen -


E. Tawas magnets with a can of Grapette for scale.
[ Click to view larger image. ]

After thumbing through the E. Tawas community guide, I would theorize the local availability of huge magnets has something to do with the good deer hunting around there. Availability of deer meat suggests a lot of large freezers to store it all and that would mean most households probably have a lot of un-decorated freezer space just begging for a hugeass magnet.

4. My very own authentic and soon-to-be-immortal Detweiler Bros. wrestling t-shirt

5. A PERFECT storage container for my eyepatch. I can't imagine this container being used for anything else -


Piracy Accessory.

6. A selection of men's cologne which will be the subject of a future post/taste test.

Danke Boz!

Dirndl vs Evening Gown Match

Listen to the audio.

Tri state area tag team champions

The Detweiler Brothers new blog.
All future posts concerning the Detweiler Brothers will be made to the Detweiler Brothers new blog.
UPDATE YOU LINKS!!!

WrestlePalooza XVI or XVII

Fear The Claw!!!

Has Belle heard the good news?

Supposedly they are making new episodes of Saved by the Bell!
http://www.avclub.com/content/hater
Possibly she has known all along.
I have my suspiscions that Belle is, in fact, the Onion's Amelie Gillette.

The Brutalization Continues

Behind the scenes -


Jonnie Hardcore Detweiler talking shit from a Laguna Hills parking lot.

The Detweiler Twins, Wrestling Promo, Take II

Fear The Claw!!!

Introducing J.H. Detweiler

Sneak Preview II

Me and my brother Jonnie Hardcore Detweiler will be defending our tag team belts this Friday night at the Benton Harbor Civic Auditorium.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!



Bruiser Boz Detweiler demonstrating the devastating Bruiser Boz Detweiler Iron Claw

Sneak Preview

After I've teabagged everyone in the tri-state area, this is the promotional glossy I'll probably be signing -

Jonnie Hardcore Detweiler.

A Haunting Pic Indeed...

If Boz sez that Belle bought a haunted house then she should hang this pic next to the belfry and keep the bats away!!

(This is me working the CC Haunted Jail back in 2000 or 2001 I think; it may be earlier than that... As you can tell I enjoyed it immensely!!)

This is the best therapy you can get outside of a lobotomy or just good oral sex, in my opinion...

Rebel Leady Hulk?

CD overload!!

I cleaned out my CD collection last week; got rid of discs that I had used back when I was still on the air at WJHS in Columbia City. (That was the high school station I sometimes refer to...back "in the day.")
I had a bunch of AC/DC that I didn't listen to and some other "obscure" stuff that I sold to a local shop (Wooden Nickel, Jonnie...they're still here!!) I got a few bucks but I didn't replace any.
But I was inspired to make some collections for my car and soon they're going to be in Jonnie's and Boz's mailboxes!! Although Boz may not like the "Headlong Into a Brick Wall" metal collection...
And I know I still need to send you "proper compensation" for the discs you sent to me...I will be including the Bob and Tom comedy discs (and 2 Xmas CDs I burned for the family too!)

So I will be working on them this week and hopefully they'll be in the USPS's hands soon.

What song was #1 on your 18th birthday

Go here and type in the day that you turned 18 and it will give you the song that was #1 on that day. According to my good friend Chez Pink aka La Peaches this will be your life's theme song, whatever that means.
Remember, use the day you turned 18, not the day you were born

My results:
US Charts - Mrs. Robinson by Simon and Garfunkel
British Charts - Young Girl by Gary Puckett and the Union Gap

Mrs. Robinson, older woman, younger guy
Young Girl, younger girl, older guy
I am so confused.

You decide

Hulk Benet Ramsey



or

Joran Van Der Hulk

Twister in Iowa City!

My big sister KathyJo survived a major twister in the college town of Iowa City, where she lives. Her house was almost directly in its path.
For those of you who love natural disasters with (sort of) happy endings, read her account of it, which I've posted on my blog. There are also links to surreal twister-damage photos.
http://stoneandstar.blogspot.com/

Unflattering Comparisons

Three people I have been compared to, in chronological order:


Divine Brown
Monica Lewinsky
Natalee Holloway
Does anyone see a trend?

Rosa Posa Posa Posa Speaks

I was searching through my old Netscape storage accounts and I found this audio clip made by rosa posa posa posa a couple of years ago.
Rosa Posa Posa Posa Speaks!
Enjoy

New Kids On The Blog

[Click to view larger image. ]
Synopsis of the 25 cent NKOTB - Hangin' Tough video cassette that Boz sent me is posted on RLB's Video Synopsis Page.

Easter Survey

1. What is your favorite color jelly bean - Red
2. Do you like black jelly beans - Yes, but only by themselves
3. Did you color eggs last night - No
4. Will you be going to church today - No
5. Where do you stand on white chocolate - It's very rich, so only in small quantities
6. Ham for dinner - No
7. Where does Easter rate among your favorite holidays. Favorite, least favorite, or somewhere near the middle - One of my least favorites as an adult, one of my favorites as a kid.
8. Peeps, yes or no - No
9. What is your favorite Easter memory - Visiting my grandparents one year when it was unseasonably warm and my Uncle Danny teaching me how to roll up the sleeves on my shirt, and then letting me shoot his bb gun.
10. Do you know any Easter Urban Legends - Every year while growing up my mother used to tell us about the little girl who was diabetic who went into a diabetic coma after finding her brother's Easter basket and eating all his candy.

It's Dead, John...

My 27" TV will not be resurrected like Jesus...

The flyback transformer is iffy so I have made the decision to do like Bob Barker sez and have it sprayed for cooters.
OOPS, I mean I'm having it put down. As in the dumpster. As in bye-bye.

I have a 19" but that really cramps my style with the ladies...

Kudos to youdos

Have I mentioned lately how much I dig the rw ... bs thing?
I was going to say how much I loved the rw ... bs thing, but just thinking about writing it made me blush.
And remember we always put the Real World before the ... BS.

Create A Blog...

Taking in the details

Carry the weight
Of constantly-trickling
Brain water

Words in Cyberspace
Versus
Words in veins

You will always lose in this

What you really wanted to put down

Always wins

What you really meant to say

Always exists

You always

End up

(losing)

Where's the Kaboom??

I am warning the East Coast and Great Lakes regions (this means you Boz):

Check your generators and batteries because I've got the parts and I'm going to attempt to fix my 27" Panasonic TV tomorrow!!! If all goes well I'm going to have 2 TVs now!! If not then I'm going to have a lot of extra parts for a Panasonic TV tomorrow.

Updates will follow.
AmyJo will grade me on my efficiency in repair and also grammar.
And then we'll do sake. And Munchkins from Dunkin' Donuts.

Nascar Brand Meats--a link for JohnnyC

http://www.tastetheexcitement.com/

things I learned this week

Don't put your rent check in the landlady's mailbox because it will get stolen.
Don't put garterbelts in the dryer because their parts will melt and then your stockings will fall down.
Don't read scary Catholic novels before going to sleep.
Don't listen to the Hawaiian radio station in the middle of a rain storm because it will just piss you off.
Don't buy wine that is on sale next to the checkout in the market, even if it is a high-end market because the wine is sure to be crappy.
Don't shop at Ross Dress for Less--it will only end in tears or, at best, a long wait in the Returns line.
Don't neglect your bipolar alcoholic friends for too long because they will send you perplexed and incoherent rage-filled and sorrowful emails that are messy and you will have to be suitably penitant and face the fact that you are a crappy person who selfishly didn't write to your alcoholic bipolar friends because it took too much energy and you will then have to penetrate deeply the nature of your own lack of compassion because, after all, said bipolar alcoholic friends have good hearts and they did teach you to drive AND to hate Bob Saget with a near-religious passion.

JohnnyC - PunK ROcK Icon

A friend from my Los Angeles days, Kelley, claims the Which JohnnyC Quote Are You? quiz is a big hit on her MySpace page -


Kelley's MySpace Page

Since I'm not a MySpace member, I couldn't see who all else took it, but she says a ton of people have.

Rock On, JohnnyC!

Media Mail from Jonnie

the childhood pleasure of my generation that will not come again

Abbey Road was one of my favorite album covers. It haunted me. Why was Paul barefoot? What were they doing crossing the road? They seemed so full of purpose. Where were they? What was going on? Why did they all have such long hair? Why wasn't George wearing a suit? And on and on...

I remember being very little, before I could read, and opening my mother's record cabinets and looking at the album covers. The record albums seemed HUGE to me, and the covers were more vivid than the most vivid art--they were, to put it pretentiously, a sort of Sistine Chapel that I could flip through. The record cabinets were made of elaborately carved japanese teak and they smelled like furniture polish. The albums themselves were already beginning to fray at the edges,