The Real World ... Blogger Style: 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006

Friday, June 30, 2006

JONNIE

Jonnie was born and raised in a small town in Indiana. He was a pretty normal kid growing up if you forget about his fascination with pee, shaving cream, and vienna sausages. He went to the University of Indiana, and I guess he graduated. Then wanderlust set in. He's lived all over the place, including the wilds of Alaska, the wilds of Las Vegas, the wilds of Los Angeles, and he currently resides in the wilds of Orange County. Some of the many jobs he has held include working with handicapped kids, day laborer, and a short stint in internet porn as a web designer and part time fluffer. Jonnie recently finished work on his Masters Degree and is currently looking for work as an archivist, or whatever it is you call those guys that work with archives.

Jonnie met Sandra on the internet about two and a half years ago, and despite the concern of friends, Sandra flew over from Germany for a visit that lasted most of the summer of 2004, which led to their engagement of 2005, and soon to be wedded bliss of 2006.

Jonnie likes the Ramones, the 99 Cent Store, Del Taco, Soul Train, the Pirate Salute, and Cincinnati Steamers.

Jonnie is the HASSELHOFF of the blog world.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Ummm...

Can anyone recommend a good, inexpensive car insurance company?

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

BELLE

Belle was born and raised in the northeast corner of GUAM. At least one of her parents is French, or French Canadian, or plays the French Horn. Belle's real name is Isabella which is Latin for either spawn of the devil or possessor of the golden hoo hoo. Belle went to a couple of colleges and has a degree or two and she now works in a hospital where hopefully she doesn't have access to people on life support systems.

Belle admires both Nancy Kerrigan and Pamela Smart.

Belle recently moved into a Victorian mansion that is haunted by the ghost of Ted Danson.

Belle is borderline psychotic during the figure skating portion of the Winter Olympics and has been known to shout out
More tule, more tule, you need more tule!
When her emotions get the best of her.

Come to think of it, Belle is borderline psychotic most of the time.

Belle also has trouble distinguishing her real life from her tv life as evidenced by the fact that she considers Benson DuBois, Jeb Bartlet, and Zach Morris among her closest personal friends.

But despite all this ...
Belle is a role model.

Fun with Geography

What is wrong with this map?

AmyJo's Mysterious Zip Code

Before AmyJo left for Zen Buddhist Summer Camp she posted an address in case anyone wanted to write to her. She gave the wrong zip code, I mean the zip code wasn't even close.
Here is her correct mailing address:

Amy Parker
c/0 Tassajara ZMC
39171 Tassajara Rd
Carmel Valley CA 93924-9316

Btw, her birthday is this Sunday, July the 2nd.

Monday, June 26, 2006

MARCI

Marci is from the south, the deep south, the deep deep south, Alabama I think. After college Marci got a cubicle job which didn't quite satisfy her so after a couple of years she moved to Atlanta and got a Masters Degree in some kind of Psych field. She is now employed by the state of Georgia and deals with schizos, which begs the question, who's watching Marci while Marci is watching the schizos.

Marci is a free spirit who likes tiaras, midgets and free beer night.

Things just happen to Marci.
The following is a fictional account of something that might happen to Marci.

Marci turns into a supermarket parking lot and pulls into the only vacant parking space. As she walks into the supermarket the city road crew comes back from lunch and replaces the No Parking sign by Marci's parking spot.
Time passes ...
As Marci is pushing her shopping cart back to her car she notices that one of her shoes is untied. As she bends over to tie her shoe her pants rip all the way up the back causing her to lurch forward sending her shopping cart careening through the parking lot finally stopping when it crashes into the parked police car belonging to the officer who is writing Marci a ticket for parking in a no parking zone. Marci makes the best of a bad situation by getting the police officer's phone number and inviting him to the next Free Beer Night
.

Marci fully understands and appreciates the irony that is her life.

The above bio is based entirely on my observations. Any corrections or comments should be made in the comment section.

ROSA

Rosa is caught between two cultures.
Her parents were born and raised in Italy and are very old world Italian while Rosa was born and raised in Australia and considers herself Australian, but ... still Italian.
There have been many culture based conflicts between Rosa and her parents, mostly with her father. She wins some, she loses some, and some of the conflicts are ongoing.
Rosa is a very talented and hard working high school teacher and should go far in her chosen profession unless she explodes first.

Rosa likes the color pink, kittens, acrylic nails, retro pin-up art, shopping, and more shopping.

When Rosa sees something she likes she is very aggressive in her pursuit of her goal, sometimes to the point of being overly aggressive, or OBSESSIVE in her pursuit.

The following is a typical IM Chat with Rosa.
Rosa: Hallo!
Other Person: Hi!
Rosa: How are you?
Other Person: Oh, I'm fine. I was just about to ...
Rosa: Ok, that's enough about you, let's talk about me now!!!

Rosa is the Queen of the Drama Queens.

The above bio is based entirely on my observations. Any corrections or comments should be made in the comment section.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

DVL

Dvl is half Persian and half Austrian. She was born and raised in Beverly Hills California, and attended Beverly Hills High. She is married to a former Marine turned lawyer and is the mother of a young slightly precocious daughter. Dvl has worked in a law office since high school and has worked her way up, or down, to paralegal status.

Dvl likes people and likes to be around people, but ... she is a natural born lurker who would rather observe than be the center of attention.

She enjoys live music in intimate surroundings, fetish clubs, and posture bars.

She believes in the concept of shaudenfreude, meaning that she takes a slightly perverse pleasure in the misfortune of others.

She is also fond of pointing out that you can't spell devil without a d a v or an l.

Dvl is the ultimate unattainable web babe.

The above bio is based entirely on my observations. Any corrections or comments should be made in the comment section.

Friday, June 23, 2006

The Fez From Hell...(actually Columbia City...)


This is for Jonnie.
A present from the 2006 Old Settlers Days parade in beautiful downtown Columbia City. (Actually the street coming out of the high school, North Street.)

Sandra, you man has a fez fetish. Relish it. Get a leather one and the game is on.

Speaking of high school, Jonnie, I think I'm going to get to help work on Bob Brittain's well. Fun!!!

(this pic was taken while the float was moving, with a camera phone. sorry about quality. I may send this to AmyJo, just for a laugh.)

MALONE

Malone is half Irish and half Vietnamese. On his 18th birthday his father, his Irish parent, gave him $500.00 and kicked him out of the house. Malone moved around for awhile. He lived in his car, and on the street, and with whatever friend would take him in. He eventually got it together and has settled down in Orange County and has been in a relationship for at least four years. He works in an office and does part time bar tending. He wants to be a writer and is not particular if it is novels, short stories, poetry, screen plays, or comic books. If he had his way he would only leave the house to buy beer, cigarettes, and comic books. However, he doesn't have his way and is often lured out by friends, which usually leads to trouble in the form of shaving his head or jumping out of moving cars.

At least four of the female members of rw ... bs have had, or still have a crush on him, I think it's because of his poetic yet tortured soul.

He is occasionally referred to by certain members as The Baby Jesus, because he is.

Malone and I almost became gay lovers, but neither of us like sweaters.

The above bio is based entirely on my observations. Any corrections or comments should be made in the comment section.

Bios

Malone came up with a pretty good idea about everyone writing a short bio to sort of re-introduce ourselves to each other. The part about the short bio is a good idea, the part about everyone writing one would be pretty much impossible to get everyone to do, so instead of everyone writing a short bio, I will write a short bio on everyone, and if you don't like it you can correct it or add to it in the comments.
I'll post each one separately, but not all at once, starting with the person I've known longest and working down from there.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Hello audioblogger

Monday, June 19, 2006

A Baby Tiger, Brought Back To Life

Bad Moments in Cinema Part I

This is the Batman and Robin I would pay to see.





Sunday, June 18, 2006

I Got You, Babe

Jonnie & Sandra present the best audioblog duet in history -

this is an audio post - click to play

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Thursday, June 15, 2006

Who cares, really...

Hi.
A short post, really a repeat of Juan Bodley's Hell's latest post.
I've got an interview tomorrow about a temporary wire pulling job. On site at a few places. Don't really know what to expect, so I'll tell ya later.

Other than that, I'm a happy camper. I fixed a TV this week, so I haven't lost my touch. And I didn't get any parts at Radio Shack. They're slackers there, ya know...

We've been copied!!!

Check this out! Lousy copycats! They even have a belle!

"Belle is shy and shuns the spotlight. She’s friendly in a crazy-hermit-kinda-way. Breathtakingly beautiful, she wants to be respected for her mind, not her looks. Good luck, Belle." [quote from belle's bio]

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Courtesy of dvl



Sloganize your name.

You're in good hands with Boz.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

AmyJo in Tassajara Update

She has another case of poison oak from going skinny dipping on her day off. This time one of her eyes is swollen almost completely shut.
She has tons of black fly bites the size of dimes all over her body.
She has dish pan hands from washing the morning breakfast dishes for 87 rich guests at the center.
She isn't sleeping very well because her bed is too narrow and too high.

Despite all this she said she would rather be at Tassajara right now than any place else in the world, and except for all the itching she feels like she is in paradise.

This has been an AmyJo in Tassajara Update, we now return you to your regular broadcast.

Monday, June 12, 2006

For Boz, from a secret admirer...


Remember that this is in TRUE Juan Bodley fashion...

Retaliations are expected.


Happy Birthday. Have a Pepsi on me.

Happy Birthday to Boz!!


From Jonnie & Sandra

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Sunday, June 11, 2006

Urban Dictionary

boz

For a good time call

In honor of belle not posting on her blog for a year I am posting this song which she wishes had been written about her.

Bathroom habits

1. Do you read in the bathroom?
2. Do you take a shower or a bath?
3. Do you shave your whatever before, during, or after your bath or shower?
4. What color is your toothbrush?
5. What brand of soap are you currently using?
6. What brand of shampoo are you currently using, and do you lather, rinse, and repeat?
7. Do you sing in the bath or shower?
8. How many towels do you use after your bath or shower?
9. Do you use a hair dryer?
10. Do you leave the door open, close the door, or close and lock the door?

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Celebrate Dammit!!!


What I am doing right now, and you should too!!

Sandra's here, so Lowenbrau is on the house!!!

Party like your ass is on fire!!!

Fun with RebelLeadyBoy

I never noticed this before, but if you take the name RebelLeadyBoy and break it down into syllables you get
Re ... belLe ... ady ... Boy.
Jonnie has belle's name hidden inside of his name ... belLe!!!
And if you take the Boy out of RebelLeadyBoy and take the last letter and change it from the 25th letter in the alphabet to the 26th letter of the alphabet you have ...
Boz.

RebelLeadyBoggle
How many words of three or more letters can you find hidden in RebelLeadyBoy?

Friday, June 09, 2006

The holiday weekend starts today

The RW ... BS Holiday Weekend starts today.
June 10th - Sandra arrives from Germany.
June 11th - The one year anniversary of belle NOT posting on her blog.
June 12th - My birthday.

Celebrate and enjoy.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Celebratin' Old Skool...

From the Wayback Files...
Mr. RLB (on the right) and Mr. Juan Bodley (on the left) proceed to ingest 25 ounces of Austrailian nasty-water (named Fosters...we were young and uneducated about good beer then...)

Love the room? That was our family room, circa 1990-1991 (I'm guessing later than 1991; I'm still swollen from the "big" surgery in the pic.) My shirt is Bill The Cat from Bloom County with about 200 cigarettes with an Uzi to his noggin...the caption is "Thank You For Not Smoking." One of my favorites.

Post this pic this weekend and open a can of your favorite to party along with RLB and SandraB. (that's her married name, ya know...) And then puke till ya puke.

Lisa Loeb in her underpants

Monday, June 05, 2006

Guys named RAY are taking over the food world!!!



Sunday, June 04, 2006

Texas Holdem! Ambien!!

Since Rebel Leady Boy Scrapbook has wound down, I've self-published a commemorative blog book, Content: Selected Blog Posts from Jonnie 7-11 which captures the high and low points of the I'm Nacho Steppinstone and Rebel Leady Boy Scrapbook blogs.


Cover of "Content: Selected Blog Posts from Jonnie 7-11".

140 pages (I think) and heavily illustrated, it's a bargain at $11.08.
Order your copy today.

RW...BSers who appear in Content: Selected Blog Posts from Jonnie 7-11 -

Dedication page - Dedication to Sandra & photo of Sandra

Acknowledgements page - RW...BS is acknowledged and individual acknowledgements are extended to boz, amyjo, johnnyC, and belle.

pg. 17 - AmyJo's Introduction, Like Mayflies on a Summer Night: Ephemera and the Hardcore

pg. 28 - Comment from Marci re: Shaving Cream Head

pg. 36-38 - 2 Sandra & Jonnie blog posts are reproduced

pg. 46 - Boz's blog is mentioned

pg. 59-60 - Comments from Sandra, Boz, and AmyJo

pg. 81-83 - 2 more Jonnie and Sandra blog posts

pg. 84-85 - Reproduction of Sandra's Last Supper...RW Style! drawing which includes Rosa Posa, DVL, Marci, Jonnie, Sandra, Boz, Belle, and AmyJo.

pg. 89-90 - Jonnie & Sandra post

pg. 91-92 - "Crisis Line" post featuring Belle + comments from AmyJo and Belle

Well, screw this - I guess the rest of it has comments from probably most of you.

It also features an original foreward by my Eskimo sidekick and perpetual transient, Donald Kilbuck; emailed to me fresh from Dutch Harbor, Alaska.

And an Afterward by my lawyer, Jon David.

Pick up your copy of Content: Selected Blog Posts from Jonnie 7-11 today.

Also, it would be much appreciated if you gave it a good ranking and/or review on the store page.

A portion of each sale goes to support AmyJo in the zen monastary and Donald Kilbuck as he wanders aimlessly around Alaska.

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Saturday, June 03, 2006

BBQ Saturday!

Jonnie's last weekend of bachelorhood -



I'm unshaven and living off of pizza, bbq chips and Grapette.
I feel just like Sammy Hagar.

There's only one way to rock!

I should post a photo of my pot belly.

My last Sunday of bachelorhood will be spent cleaning my bathroom, doing laundry, and making sure everything is generally clean and tidy.

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OH NO!!!

The zonkboard is down ... Try the chat room.

A review of the chips I will be eating at Jonnie's Last Week as a Bachelor Party tonight

Uncle Ray's Hot Potato Chips

Taste: These are good hot chips with a nice flavor. They won't win the contest for the hottest chips in the world, but they're still fairly hot and have a lot of flavor. They're hot enough that you might need to go get a drink of water after eating them (but it won't be a super-urgent situation to get water, as it is with some even hotter chips). The flavor powder on the chips is a bright red, similar to some ketchup chips. A good snack with some zing.

Aroma: A good hot barbecue sort of smell — it kind of makes your mouth water.
Review courtesy of Taquitos.net.

Uncle Ray also has a nice little slice of life story about what it was like growing up in Detroit which he refers to as Uncle Ray's Chapters.
Here are some excerpts:

Chapter 1
My First Business Venture

The Fisher Housing Project was hot in the summer. As a way to make money I tried selling Kool Aid for a penny a cup. I offered orange, grape, strawberry and lime. (Lime was not a good seller.) At 8 years old, I had a lot to learn. One day a boy came by and grabbed one of my gallons of Kool Aid and ran away with it. Naturally I took off after him. I never caught him and when I came back to my stand the rest of my Kool Aid was no where to be found. This taught me a valuable lesson. Always be sure to keep an eye on your business or it will get away from you.

That same summer my father tried to earn extra money by ordering various products from a magazine to sell. Things like men's work clothes, Gillette razor blades, Bayer aspirin in a tin, bobby pins, shoe laces, etc. He would sell some at the foundry where he worked. I went house to house in the projects and sold items for ten cents apiece. That was a good deal of money back then for razor blades and aspirin. I remember one young lady who bought many items from my tray. There was something very special about her. Her face was as white as snow and her kindness abundant. To me she looked like an angel, and maybe she was.

Chapter 3
Before Potato Chips There Were Blacken Potatoes

In the Summer-time we had a lot of fun living in the Fisher Housing Projects (S.W. side of Detroit). At 9 years old, everyday was an adventure as well as every night. At night we would dig a hole in the back yard and build a fire to roast potatoes. We would put them on the end of a wire hanger and stick them in the fire for an hour or two. Summer time was bare foot time from May until September; most of us kids would go bare foot. I can still remember the pain, because someone would always leave their red-hot wire on the ground after they took their potato off. I remember going house to house trading comic books at one time. I had comics stacked 3 feet high. Comics were 5 cents at the store and the best way to read new books was to trade. I remember marbles on the day I took a cardboard box and made holes in the side. The shooter could win 2 to 25 marbles, and the smallest hole was for 25. Very few would shoot for the 2 or 5 hole. Most would lose by trying for the hole that only 1 in 100 ever made. By the end of the day I had a large box of marbles. But I felt bad and gave them back. I tore up the box and never did that again. It's ok to play fair when everyone has a chance to win, but to take advantage of someone is wrong.

Chapter 4
Can't tell a book by it's cover (or a chair)

As a 10-year old boy in the Fisher Housing Projects we didn't have extra money for the movie show and such things.
From time to time, I would take the cushions off the chair and couch to look for lost change. One day a neighbor put an overstuffed chair out in front for garbage pickup.
Looking at the chair, I thought there could possibly be some money stuffed down deep in those cushions. So I began my search. I found a quarter, then a dime, and another. Before I knew it, I had over a dollar.
As I removed the fabric from the old chair, the lady of the house came outside. When she saw a like new chair underneath the old one, she thanked me and took her chair back into the house. As she dragged the chair up the walk she hollered, "Keep the change!" I was ecstatic. I had enough movie money for a month.
It goes to show you, you always have a choice. You can choose to do what is right or what is wrong.
Our lives are like a seed that is planted in the ground. You will reap what you sow. Whether it be good or bad it will come back to you.

Chapter 10
A HARD DAYS WORK FOR A GOOD DAYS PAY

After finishing the 8th grade at sixteen, I went to work at Great Lakes Gray Iron Foundry, where my Uncle Ira Jenkins was plant foreman.
At 6 feet tall and 125lbs., the work was the hardest I had ever done before or since. My job was to mix facing (fine sand and graphite). This was used to insure a clean finish on the casting. After a year, I became an assistant molder. One day we were pouring a 4-ton mold (8,000 lbs.) of molded iron when the flask split open. A stream of molten iron poured out on to the floor. We ran to keep from getting burned. The iron was 2-3 inches deep and melted shovels and everything in its path. Boy, were we scared !
After work, we stopped at a Polish bar for a boomba of beer (a boomba is the size of a small round fish bowl). The bartender didn't ask my age because with black soot on my face he couldn't tell how old I was.
A month after I left the foundry I was still coughing and spitting up black soot. My father worked 30 years in the foundry and died from Black Lung Disease.
I joined the Navy three weeks before my 18th birthday. The recruiter said I would be sent to the Navy Foundry in Norfolk, VA. He must have thought he was doing me a favor. There was no way I would go back to a foundry, so I became a cook on the destroyer USS Bristol.
One of the most important gifts God has given me are my memories. Thank you Lord.

For more about Uncle Ray visit his WEBSITE.

Saturday Night is Jonnie's Last Weekend as a Bachelor Party

8PM Eastern and 11 PM Pacific



Bring your BBQ Chips, your Little Debbie Snack Cakes, and your Grape Soda ...
But leave your toe nail clippers at home, because it's Hard Core Party Time!!!

Friday, June 02, 2006

Tracing Paper

Among the E Tawas promotional items Boz sent me some time ago is this tiny pocket notepad from Independent bank -


I've been using this notepad for jotting down "to do" lists (i.e. things I need from the 99 cent store), but today at work, I realized the paper was extra light - very transparent, you can see right through it!

I realized I could probably use it to trace stuff really easily!

So I used what was handy (a menu from Juice It Up! and a copy of Content: Selected Blog Posts from Jonnie 7-11, particularly the reproduction of Sandra's Last Supper...RW Style drawing, and images of palm trees, an explosion, and a hand giving the finger)

Everything came together to make this powerful image -



Flaming palm trees, Boz, Juice It Up, and a hand giving the finger. I think this is an ideal tattoo for somebody out there.

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June's UPS Motivational Slogan

Courtesy of the 2006 UPS Going Places calendar which was given to me last December by the UPS man for free -


Let's Turn On a Dime - And Make It Look Easy

Bad illustration, those big carts will fall right over if you try to turn them too fast.

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What's the dumbest thing you did yesterday, or today, or tomorrow, or the next day?

I wore my t-shirt backwards all day up until a half hour ago.