Fill in the blank

1. I hate when Boz ____.
2. I cried when dvl ____.
3. Whenever marci ____ the crowd cheers.
4. Belle rhymes with ____.
5. If Jonnie ____ in Germany we may never see him again.
6. When Sandra went through customs in Germany they double checked her ____.
7. I once saw Rosa ____ in downtown Sydney.
8. Amyjo got in trouble at the monastery when she chanted about the time she ____.
9. The last time JohnnyC got happy in his pants was when he ____.
10. If Malone only knew what we knew he'd ____ himself.

Mr. Clean Cut Guy goes to AA

Frank L. Henry ... American Shriner

What CD am I listening to?

Hint: Hooky Wooky

Virtual Record Store

I made a great discovery at Barnes & Nobles' discount shelf last night:


Horrifically Bad Album Covers - by Nick D1fonz0
It's full of colorful photographs of album covers which are, according to the author, horrifically bad. Such as George Milstein's Music to Grow Plants -


And this lady getting ready to deepthroat a lightbulb -


It is a hard covered masterpiece with a dust jacket and priced to go at only $9.99. I almost bought a couple of extras for gifts.

The best part of the book is when you are leafing through and notice an album that would be just perfect for you or for somebody you know.

Like this one for me -


Perfect gift for Rebel Leady Boy.
Since this blog is a virtual community, I thought I would go record shopping through this book and pick up a suitable gift record album for each of you.

For Sandra -


Music to Soothe that Tiger.
Perfect. Right down to the katzen imagery.

For Malone -


A Nite Cap with Larry.
I know Malone appreciates the super heroes.
Larry seems like he may be a super hero of sorts.

For JohnnyC -


Keep the Dogs Away - Thor.
Norse-Metal answer to Who Let the Dogs Out?

For AmyJo -


Lord, Lubricate My Bones - Rev. Clarence Henderson.
That looks like a good one.

For Rosa Posa Posa -

Ding Dong School.
No comment.

For Belle -

Teen Age Dance Party.
You can tell, by the look on that girl's face, that this album is FAB.

For Marci -


The Whole Church Should Get Drunk.
"A Soul Stirring Sermon by Rev. Dr. James Wade".

Yeah!

For DVL -


Organ Freak Out!
Those girls look like they're having a good time.

And for Boz -


Julie's Sixteenth Birthday.
I don't know what those two are discussing on the cover, but I can tell the guy is more happy about it than Julie is.

Frank L. Henry ... Shriner

Ok, I think I've figured out all the Jonnie/Shriner/Germany nonsense.
Jonnie, through his contacts at the Nichard R. Mixon Library, has been recruited by the CIA to do a job in Germany, and his new identity will be Frank L. Henry ... Shriner.
That's all I've got so far, but I'm still digging.

A Change Is Going To Come...

Juan Bodley is now posting under the new system. You have been warned. We now return you to whatever the hell Boz is up to now.

Ten things Jonnie should do when he is in Germany

1. Ask someone why they call it Deutschland instead of Germany. That can be very confusing.
2. Order a bottle of Liebfraumilch without laughing.
3. Go into a department store and ask if they sell a thong version of Lederhosen.
4. Pretend you are David Hasselhoff and tell everyone you want to rebuild the Berlin Wall because you are David Fuckin' Hasselhoff.
5. Go into a sex shop and tell them you have pictures of Angela Merkel and Hillary Clinton doing the nasty.
6. Whenever you go into a restaurant ask if they serve Dachkaninchen.
7. Try to take a tour of Stalag Thirteen.
8. Point at every monument you see and ask if it's the Eiffel Tower.
9. Try to recruit some new members for the RW ... BS.
10. Tell them that Boz sent you.

The Real World ... Shriner Style

As painstakenly photoshopped by Jonnie

This is all screwed up

I transferred over to new blogger on the account I use for rw ... bs, and now it won't let me sign in on Internet Explorer. So now I am using Opera to post.

Be creative

Create a doodle movie.

Undercover Shriner

I've been buying Avengers back issues on eBay for about a week now.

Encouraged by the abundant comic book auctions, I decided to explore uncharted territory this weekend and I came back with almost everything I will ever need for going undercover as a Shriner:

1. Authentic Shriner fez -


From the Islam Temple in San Francisco.

2. Set of 2 commemorative towels from a Shriner golf outing -


Text reads, "Lu Lu Shriners Annual Golf Outing".

3. Authentic signed Shriner membership card -


From 1957.

All for less than $15.00

I couldn't be more pleased with eBay.

I didn't post this earlier because I didn't want anybody to bid against me.

Addendum I: I thought it would be funny to mail the fez around to all blog members so they could get a photo in it for the sidebar icons, but considering the level of participation lately, I don't think I would ever see the fez again.

Addendum II: The name and signature on the Shriner card belong to a Mr. Frank Henry, so if you notice a Shriner answering to the name "Frank" or "Mr. Henry", it is probably me.

The Official RW ... BS House Band

The Teenagers From Outer Space aka The Sparkletones perform authentic space music.
Right click, open in new window

If teenagers from outer space came to earth and started a rock and roll combo

This is what they would look like.

Mail Call

A package for Boz
Right click and open in new window.

Officer Jonnie being orally pleasured by the Burger King.

Yeah, he's famous, right?

I met Peter O' Toole tonight.

He's a boy and he's a man

Happy 59th Birthday to Alice Cooper.

Malingering

I faked being sick this morning so I could sleep as long as I wanted, but now that I am up I really am sick, sick as in my sinus are killing me. Maybe Jesus, who belle is on a first name basis, is trying to tell me something.

I wonder if Jonnie and Sandra got a package today?