A Sure Sign Hell Is Frigid...

I read in Rolling Stone that the new Iron Maiden disc is in the Billboard Top Ten.
Above all the rap, hip-hop, country, jazz, jizz, fizz, and everything else out there.
There is justice for the Metal Revolution after all.


Up the Irons!!!!


A public (dis)service of Juan Bodley...

17 answers

1. How many bedrooms does it have?
Just 1, rent is insanely high here, there's no way we can afford a bigger one, especially since I still don't have an employment authorization (the process is SLOW).

2. Do you get cable TV, if you do, do you get any premium channels?
Nah.

3. Is Sandra still able to volunteer at the cat shelter?
Yes! We're even closer to the shelter now, I can go there by bike.

4. Can you have pets?
Can and do! I brought home a 1.5 years old little cat from the shelter. He's still quite shy, but getting better each day. His name is Turkey. When he's bad, we put him on drugs (catnip) and call him "Stanley Wood". That probably doesn't make any sense to you, but it sure does to us.






5. Does the apartment complex have a pool?
Nah. But we have orange and lemon and avocado trees. We could swim in juice and guacamole.

6. Do you have high speed internet access?
As long as I'm not allowed to work, we're going to watch our money and keep the old computer and the old internet access.

7. Are you still going to buy a new computer?
See #6.

8. Are you still in Orange County?
Hell yeah! We're in Santa Ana, OC.

9. Do you have enough furniture?
Yes. We could bring the furniture from Jonnie's old room and the kitchen was already furnished and we bought a few things... it's all good in the hood now.

10. Will you be posting pictures of your new apartment?
I'm not sure, probably not.

11. What is the surrounding area like?
Hispanic. We have a ton of mexican food places and mexican supermarkets and well, mexicans. The only halfway affordable places are in hispanic neighborhoods.

12. Have you found any new favorite places to eat?
Not yet, but that's our plan for the weekend. I bet one of the mexican chicken grills will definitely make it to our favorites list.

13. Did the people who lived there before you leave anything?
A small ladder.

14. Can you write a haiku about your new apartment?
No. I bet Jonnie can, I'll ask him to.

15. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
Last night: Jonnie, the night before it was me. The right side of the bed is slightly cooler because it's right under the fan, so the one who's sweating more gets to lay there. (we do have AC too, but still)

16. Do you have a television in your bedroom?
Yes!

17. What's it like to have a kitchen all of your own?
It's almost better than Christmas in June in February.

Gay Aquaman

Brother Todd just informed me about The Absorbascon's recent contest in which people submitted the gayest picture of Aquaman they could find.

This was the winner:

WAY gay.

My Question For Jonnie and Sandra...

I will go back SEVERAL years and repeat a question I once heard, at 3 AM in lovely Bloomington, IN, on an 88 degree summer night, during a prank phone call to some poor nutless bastard who had been asleep with his "shag piece" (aka mistress) when one Rebel Leady Boy picked this fool's name out of the phone book.

Jonnie, with style, finesse, and tone befitting a phone sex operator, when inquiring of this gentleman's evening's pleasures with his woman, asked the question that I now ask of him:

"Have you been, mmm, shall we say, moistening the wick??"

Boz's Twin????

Bob Seger (the dude in the pic) was on Letterman last night, and the whole time he was performing I kept saying to myself, "Holy shit he looks like Boz!!!" So I put it to you, RW...BS faithful, do you agree?

Was this man and our beloved Boz separated at birth??

Was Boz in the original Silver Bullet Band and just won't fess up??

Was Bob Seger ever part of Boz and the Bozztones??

We want answers!!!

RW ... BS Jigsaw Puzzle

Questions for Jonnie & Sandra about their new apartment

1. How many bedrooms does it have?
2. Do you get cable TV, if you do, do you get any premium channels?
3. Is Sandra still able to volunteer at the cat shelter?
4. Can you have pets?
5. Does the apartment complex have a pool?
6. Do you have high speed internet access?
7. Are you still going to buy a new computer?
8. Are you still in Orange County?
9. Do you have enough furniture?
10. Will you be posting pictures of your new apartment?
11. What is the surrounding area like?
12. Have you found any new favorite places to eat?
13. Did the people who lived there before you leave anything?
14. Can you write a haiku about your new apartment?
15. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?
16. Do you have a television in your bedroom?
17. What's it like to have a kitchen all of your own?

A Life Question...

If Jesus was at your place and he lit up a fattie, would you tell him, "don't bogart it you dickhead" ???

Discuss.

Haikus At Random...

I was tired and hungry Saturday night, so natch that's the theme running through my Haikus At Random...

Sirloin of beef steak
Grilled extra tasty for me
Pass the A1, bitch

Pepsi chillin' cold
No ice no glass no coaster down
Drink fast and belch loud!

Pepper steak with rice
General Tso's chicken too hot
Mall Chinese is crap

The next two...I have NO idea where these came from...

Fuck it all Beulah
Damn that shit you two-bit whore
Give me back my pants

Olivia Newton-John
Sandy in Grease; damn fine chick
I would still nail her

Damn Funny!!

As a fan of the Almighty Bob and Tom, I keep my eye out for some bits that we all can apprecitate, espcially since not all of us get to hear Bob and Tom on a daily basis. (I almost got hired to work for their home station in Indianapolis, and I know 2 of their former engineers...loosely; they claim not to know me.)

They have a lot of stand up comics on and sometimes the bits become instant legends. One in particular is from Dan St. Paul, about baseball and Harry Caray. Two things I can do: watch baseball and imitate Harry when he's loaded, which was 24/7. So listen to this bit and enjoy!!

The First Baseball Game

Another blast from the past

A NUDE self portrait of AmyJo singing Candle in the Wind especially to me.

What some people won't do to become old school.

Duty Calls

I was looking through my photobucket account today and I ran across a couple pics from the early days of the real world ... blogger style.

The Adventures of Jonnie Rocket!!!

Jonnie: I slept almost 10 hours, I am like a rocket ship now. It's a shame I have to waste that energy on going to work.

Just for Jonnie

Motivator

I uploaded a random photo from my desktop, added some more-or-less random text, and ran it all through JohnnyC's Motivator for very satisfactory results:


[ Click to view larger image. ]

Desmond And I Don't Get Out Much...

I don't think that there's much of a difference between my own persoanl life and that of a guy who lives in a bomb-type shelter on an island.

But he's gay and I'm not and I like comic books and he doesn't.

New Template

How does this look?

EDIT: DON'T BOTHER LOOKING BECAUSE AFTER I INSTALLED THE NEW TEMPLATE I DELETED IT FROM THE PRACTICE BLOG

A New Toy!!

I found a new site for making motivational posters. Who needs the old boring eagle flying over a mountain to show patriotism?? Put Beetle Bailey on one and post it at the local American Legion hall to show your pride!!

Go here and show me your stuff!!

Time for a change?

It's been over two years since there has been any significant change in the template for the Real World ... Blogger Style, and I think it's about time for a change. What do you think? Should we just go with a background color change, or should we go with a brand new template, or should we ask zann?
Feedback people, I need your feedback. If there's a template out there that you like, or if you have any input whatsoever let me know.

10 True or False about JohnnyC.

1. I is the reason that Valerie Bertinelli divorced Edward Van Halen.
2. The role of Ralphie Wiggums on The Simpsons is based on me.
3. I have qualified as high as 17th for the Indianapolis 500, 23rd for the Daytona 500, and almost beat Ayrton Senna at Imola in the Italian Grand Prix.
4. My guitar playing has been featured on three different movie soundtracks, including Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and Crossroads.
5. Boz is my real father.
6. Star Wars was my idea.
7. I created the Blu-Ray DVD format in my bedroom while filiming independant porn movies.
8. I was an 11th round draft pick of the Toronto Blue Jays, but I turned it down because it wasn't the Cincinnati Reds.
9. I rode on the hood of a moving car going 60 miles an hour for a quarter mile without a helmet.
10. I stalked Chloe from 24 all summer, only to find out she wasn't living at the house I stalked. (It was Kirstie Alley.)

Truth or Lie?

Answer to Boz's True and False quiz.

10 True or False About RLB

1. He spent a week in Bloomington IN hopped up on No-Doz prank calling people.
2. His address in CC used to be "69 Woodcock Ave."
3. He dated Vanna White and Lita Ford at the same time.
4. He hates Doritos, due to an allergy to nacho cheese dust.
5. He once crashed into Ford Pinto just to see it explode.
6. He slept outside of Lou Reed's apartment for 15 days in 1981 hoping to see David Bowie.
7. He thinks Eddie Van Halen is the anti-Christ.
8. He watches Jeopardy in hopes of getting on the show one day, unlike the rest of us.
9. He once punched Meat Loaf.
10. He has a collection of McDonalds Happy Meal toys that he plays with to this day.

10 True or False about Boz

True or False?
1. I was in a airplane that almost crashed.
2. I had tickets to see Woodstock but my parents wouldn't let me go.
3. I flunked Drivers Education twice.
4. I was in a category five hurricane.
5. My sister dated the bass player in Bob Seger's first band.
6. When I was in the Air Force I served with a guy who is now the mayor of Jackson, Mississippi.
7. I had sex in a prison.
8. I sent in an application to be on Jeopardy but never heard back from them.
9. My sister's best friend's daughter was one of Barker's Beauties on The Price is Right.
10. I was one of four finalists for Macomb County teacher of the year in 1981.

Feels Like Hail...Constantly.

Old Goth ex-girlfriend bit my leg two hours ago.

Look At The Puppies!!!

OK Sandra if you see some of these guys, ship them to me care of Boz at PO Boz 5150, Cleveland OH OU812. Pay the shipping and handling and I'll pay ya back; you know I'm good for it.

Oh yeah the pups must play well with a VERY territorial Fox Terrier. In other words: the Fox Terrier will try to turn these pups into Snausages.

Brian Jones is dead weekend continues

Mick Jagger, looking and sounding very faggy indeed, reads a poem, at a free Stones concert in Hyde Park, in memory of Brian Jones.

Sympathy for Brian Jones Weekend

Read about the life and death of Brian Jones.

Kitten!

I'm volunteering for a cat rescue organization and today a bunch of yet nameless kitten arrived and I got to name them. They're brothers, 8 weeks old and bottle fed.

Say hello to:


Jonnie the Rebel Leady Kitten


Johnny C


Malone


Bozzie

I don't get how 3 of the brothers look almost identical and one looks nothing like the rest.

However, I'm still mad I didn't get to name the one on the right:

Libby and iMax

That would have been just too easy.

Johnny Plywood

Here's an odd photo I scanned recently:

Fun With Plywood Scraps.

The guy squatting is our own JohnnyC, the guy standing is the host of the party we were at. JohnnyC was apparently tending the fire.

Plywood scraps make a great prop when you're photographing somebody. I think this picture really captures JohnnyC's essance.

Concern for belle's mental health

I'm worried about belle. In belle's sick, twisted, and deluded fantasy life her BFF Janelle is in grave danger, and there is a possibility that belle might do something stupid if things don't work out right for Janelle.
So, as administrator of the RW ... BS I am putting belle on a 24 Hour Suicide Watch. I'll take the 8:30PM till 12:30AM shift. You can sign up for your shift in the comments section.
Keep the coffee flowing and the John Cougar Mellencamp Suicide Prevention Hotline open.

1969 Redux

Ten MORE things that happened in 1969
1. Joe Namath guaranteed that the New York Jets would defeat the Baltimore Colts in Super Bowl III, despite huge odds favoring the Colts, and made good on his guarantee.
2. Ho Chi Minh died.
3. Jim Morrison of the Doors was arrested while allegedly masturbating on stage during a performance in Miami.
4. Cigarette advertisements are banned from TV.
5. Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones dies in his swimming pool from an apparent drug overdose.
6. Two of the top 100 best novels of the 20th century, according to the Modern Library, were published. Portnoy's Complaint by Phillip Roth (#52) and Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut (#18)
7. Hurricane Detwiler hits Indiana
8. Jonnie was born
9. The Manson Family plans and carries out the Tate-LoBianco murders in SoCal.
10. I spent Xmas Eve all alone in a flea bag hotel in Athens Greece after an all day flight from New York, well, I spent about 23 hours all alone, but that's another story.

Bargain of the Week

Kmart has a Memorex 512 Flash Drive on sale this week for $14.99, which is half the normal price. I think everyone in RW ... BS should buy one, it could be like we are in a club, ok, we're already in a club, but this could make us even a more special club. This would really be great for Jonnie and Sandra because they are buying a new computer, and you should always buy new computer accessory stuff when you buy a new computer. Kmart also had Snickers on sale, a six pack for $1.50, which comes out to 25 cents a candy bar.



The flash drive also comes equipped with a handsome lanyard, which if purchased separately would probably retail for anywhere from five to ten dollars.

1969

Ten things that happened in 1969
1. Nixon sworn in as president
2. I enlisted in the Air Force
3. Former President Eisenhower died
4. Widespread campus unrest
5. Man walked on the moon for the first time
6. Woodstock
7. Dvl born
8. Hurricane Camille struck the Gulf Coast
9. The Hells Angels beat some guy to death on stage at a Rolling Stones concert
10. I got really really drunk on New Years Eve

For Someone Known As Detweiler..

(Sorry for the lack of size on this pic...)

The gentleman to your left is someone Jonnie cannot forget from his youth in shithole Indiana. In fact I believe that Jonnie and Todd used to call in pledges to this man just because they wanted to talk to him. (In the back of my mind I think this person is the reason why I grew the goatee...)

Yes Jonnie, aged as he is, that is none other than LARRY BOWER!!! Former co-host of the Fort Wayne segments on the Jerry Lewis MDA telethon. Now a news person at the local Jesus Freak radio station WBCL. Praise the Lord and change the station!!

BTW...if you were going to call in a pledge this weekend, make it in dedication to Jonnie Detweiler. May he rest in pieces.