Blue Van Memory

For Roadhog Weekend, I'm reprinting a very early Nacho post from way back on December 17, 2003. It's a pretty funny piece of Jonnie history which is no longer posted in my archives, though it is available on my hard drive:

The Post went something like this -

When I'd recently arrived in Anchorage and was getting on my feet, I'd bought a van real cheap from a co-worker who I later learned was also a crack dealer. It was a pretty fun van to drive - there was a huge Malcolm X banner hanging in the back & a bunch of wooden beads colored like the African flag hanging from the rearview mirror; not something a white guy generally drives around town. It really turned heads on occasion.

So until something better came along, I took a job working with disabled kids. On my first day, I drove that van & I remember having a completely overbearing head cold at the time. I was in the back of the van looking for some kleenex & found this huge caliber sawed-off shotgun in the back! I don't know what I was thinking (I was ill & disoriented at the time), but I picked it up & pulled the trigger (I guess to see if it worked) and BLAMMM!!

Blew a hole right through the side of my new van. Right in the parking lot of the house I was going to work in on my first day! I just remember my ears ringing like crazy & the smell of gunpowder. I'm glad nobody was outside in the parking lot! The lady who ran the house came running out & asked me what was going on. All I could think about was my headcold & I didn't want to explain it all to her, so I stupidly stuck my head out the window, held up the shotgun & said, "I just shot a hole in my van. I have a headcold", as if that explained anything at all.

She didn't say a word, went back in the house. I came in a little later & started my first shift. We later became fairly good aquaintences, but she NEVER mentioned the incident as long as I knew her. Pretty easy going lady, that one.


In the above pic, brother Todd is holding his Swiss Army knife by the shotgun hole for scale. It wasn't too far from hitting the gas tank. That would've been a mess.