This one will slay ya!!

Now for my next trick...
Sorry for the overload, but I only get a few hours a week online so I'm making the most of it. And this one will get ya in the cahones (ladies I don't know where this will get ya...the ovaries maybe???) Inspired by Jonnie I was...

Rebel Leady Boy Saves Christmas

The call came in from the North Pole
Santa Claus is dead!!
The elves have all gone crazy
Rudolph's nose is anything but red
So the call went out around the world
Who would they get to take the reins?
What man, what woman, what person
Had the passion in their veins?
In the O.C. of all places
Amongst the vanity and and shallow faces
REBEL LEADY BOY!!
To the Great White North in a flash
This kind of temp work doesn't pay cash
A red suit and hat to match
And a mistletoe beltbuckle too
With a wink of his eye and adjustment of his cup
Mrs. Claus, no, wait, Sandra, through the snow flew!!
His lady and his elves and his toys all ready
The world awaits the arrival of Santa Rebel Leady!!
Goodies for all, and beer for Santa
And something in black for the new Mrs. Claus
No hooves on the reindeer
It's Goodyear black on their paws
(excuse the poetic license please...)
In a '71 Chevy Impala
Rescued from an Indiana junkyard
Still rusty and the horn still honkin'
Provides Santa his world transport and (for the Middle East)
a bullet guard
Stopping first at Boz's to deliver a special package
Of meats in the can and music and goodies galore
Left outside by the snowy back door
To the rest of the faithful Real World bloggers he flew
(And to brother Todd's and Chad Fry's too)
Toys for Mina, and lots of surprises
But could you have brought me some working eye-es?
Instead, for JohnnyC., a Christmas whore!!
Looking like Claudia Schiffer, at his bedroom door!
Back to the O.C. in the blink of an eye
Rebel Leady Claus heard a mournful cry:
"Where's the liquor, Rebel Leady Claus?
We don't want Christmas Day to be dry!!"
With a wink and a snap
The bars were open and the beers cold on tap
Now we heard Jonnie say with all of his might:
"Leave me alone, I'm with my woman tonight!!"

Faithfully submitted to the Real World clan, awaiting your biting critiques...
JohnnyC.
(for the ladies' info: I am a Longfellow.)