More Xmas for youse...

So I'm writing, like I said, and a Wal-Mart ad comes on. When don't they?? I'm sick of Garth Brooks; Martina McBride I could look at for a while. Wish she'd invite me on her bus. (Go Cyclops; leave the screwin' to us!!) OK back to live action. Heer's one about the evil empire...

The Walking Wal-Mart (this ain't Target) Blues

I went to Wal-Mart the other day
Hoping Christmas value would come my way
Accosted at the door with outstretched hands
Thirty greeters and a high school band
Merchandise all going cheap
If quality isn't for you then bargains you will reap
All prices end in point ninety-nine
Something about savings comes to mind
Mens wear, kids wear, ladies too
Brands from Ajax to Underroos
Make your choices then queue up to pay
Say, isn't that my old principal trying on the lingerie?
Now my wallet's empty but not my hands
64 blue bags filled with life's demands
Wrapping paper and gift cards too
A calling card that's good in Timbuktu
Now I get my car in the Tire & Lube
Serviced quickly and cheaply by a greasy dude
And down the road I speed away
Knowing I'll be drawn back on another day.


NOTE: I don't personally use the Tire & Lube; I do that myself. So if anyone is offended by the "greasy" reference, stick a grease gun where the sun don't shine!!

And a Xmas haiku for u:

I hate the damn mall
Sears is the lone exception
They sell good tools