Goose's Conspiracy Theory

In order to understand that Bigfoot exists you need to realize that everything is controlled by the Fire Monkeys of Bora Bora made up of Jewish librarians with help from the eternally wicked.

The conspiracy first started during the Kent State tragedy in Morocco. They have been responsible for many events throughout history, including Washington crossing the Delaware.

Today, members of the conspiracy are everywhere. They can be identified by the picking of the nose and eating it.

They want to bludgeon lil' skater dude and imprison resisters in dungeons using trains.

In order to prepare for this, we all must quit our jobs. Since the media is controlled by The planet of the Apes we should get our information from our local bartender.