The Real World ... Blogger Style: RW...BS Fantasy First Times...

Saturday, March 10, 2007

RW...BS Fantasy First Times...

My sick bastard mind came up with this idea last week while I was waiting for a skin flick on Skinamax at 3 AM. I thought of who I figured would be each member's "first," based on my opinion of each individual. I didn't have time to find pics of each one's "beloved," so you'll have to look them up yourselves. I'm lazy that way.

Boz: Bettie Page
Before he became our all-knowing leader, Boz's raging hormones screamed for this pinup queen. And the plaster on the walls got thicker...
Jonnie: Florence Henderson
Corn-fed, but not inbred, Jonnie wanted this Brady a bunch!!! Marsha Marsha Marsha!! (that's his second choice...)
Sandra: David Hasselhoff
Beach bum or fighting off scum, with a cool car to match, our sweet lil' Sandy turned to the dark side after she realized her lust for the 'Hoff...
Malone: Carrie Fisher
You wouldn't need the Force to sense the lust here...and she remained celibate for him. Joliet Jake could only be so lucky.
dvl: Burt Reynolds
Again, a cool car, this time a good hat, (the truck load of beer doesn't hurt either,) and our young maiden succumbs to the smarmy greasy lust magnet
belle: Dave Coulier
John Stamos? Too pedestrian.
Bob Saget? Don't be stupid.
Captain Kangaroo? He's got Bunny Rabbit.
Nope. Sweet lil' belle fell off the innocence wagon with this forgotten Friday night jokester.
Rosa Posa Posa: Paul Hogan
Cute lil' city boys can't match up to Master bushman Paul "Crocodile Dundee" Hogan...he pulled his knife, she lost her mind, into the bush he went!!
Marci: Christopher Walken
He's a hoofer at heart. He's crazy-go-nuts. She's looking for something different than, say, Rick Springfield. There you go.
AmyJo: David Carradine
He said "kneel down, Grasshopper," and she heard "get naked."
And somewhere the Dali Lama cries...
JohnnyC.: Lucy Van Pelt
The doctor is in?? (Nobody had the heart to tell the dumb bastard that Lucy's a cartoon character...)
You blockhead!!!