The Real World ... Blogger Style: Belle's VCR

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Belle's VCR

Since Belle could not watch Martha Stewart: Apprentice tonight, I agreed to be her eyes and ears:

Martha Stewart: Apprentice, Week 3 - Synopsis

Tonight's episode began with Matchstick (the "Creative" team) talking amongst themselves about how much they hate Dawn and want her to go home.

When they watched Dawn & Jim return to the suite, both having survived last week's conference room firing; one team member commented, "I want to throw up".

Jim's wife had a baby girl and informed Jim about it via cellphone.

In the morning, Martha called the teams directly from her horse stable. She asked the team, "Just waking up? I've been up for HOURS" (as if she had been personally shovelling horseshit for 5 hours).

This week's task was to design, bake, and sell a wedding cake at a "Wedding Expo".
Martha mentioned the wedding industry brings in $72 billion per year and generously allowed the teams to thumb through back issues of Martha Stewart - Weddings magazines for ideas.

Matchstick team leader Shawn (the short-haired newscaster girl) was so confident, she told George Wannabe, "If we don't win this one, you can fire me personally".
George Wannabe seemed really concerned about the comment and confided to the camera that Shawn was "boisterous".

Over at Primarius (the "Corporate" team), team leader Howie went off on his team when they complained that he sent them to an Asian wedding store. "That's Bullshit!!!! blah-blah-blah-blah!!!!!"
["Bullshit" was censored by the network, but you could read his lips].

None of them had ever seen him that way before and were glad when he calmed down and began hugging people instead of screaming at them.

Primarius was working late into the evening and were all exhausted when they got a surprise visit from Martha's daughter, Alexis.
Primarius claims that the visit from Alexis, "lifted our spirits" because they enjoyed asking her questions about what it was like being Martha's daughter.

The next morning, Matchstick loved their cake so much that they were practically screaming with glee. Shawn totally hated it though. She hated everything about it, but mostly that it had a bow on it. She sulked all through the Wedding Expo and throughout the rest of the show.

There was a disgusting clip of Jim and David talking in the bathroom, strategizing in their underwear while David was trimming his facial hair - not pretty at all.

When all was said and done, Primarius (the "Corporate" team) sold 5 cakes while Matchstick (the "Creative" team) sold ZERO.

Martha asked Alexis to bring her back a piece of each team's cake so she could personally sample them.

After sampling the cakes, Martha commented, "It tastes homemade and that's what you want to go for in a cake".
As soon as she said this, Jim nodded excessively with fake enthusiasm, very unconvincingly. If he was trying to communicate that he felt exactly the same way, that's not how it came off.

Martha shook her head at Matchstick for losing all 3 weeks in a row and commented that the Corporate group is "demolishing the Creative group".

Primarius' reward for winning was to have desert with Donald Trump and his wife.
Martha called Trump on his cellphone during desert and Trump told her, "You have a real attractive group of winners here".

Then Trump asked if any of them would like to work for him (implying "instead of martha") and they all yelled, "YES!" except for one girl who got a really sour expression on her face.

The conference room scene was advertised as "A Conference Room Twist" and it really was. After the usual nonsense, everyone was sent back to the suite except the 3 who were singled out. Martha and George Wannabe decided that everyone should be called back into the boardroom though. Their reasoning was that it wasn't the cake's fault nobody bought it and they wanted to fire one of the sales staff. I think the secret reason was because they wanted to fire Shawn for being boisterous.

They asked Shawn why she said they could fire her if Matchstick lost and Shawn said that in the TV business where she works as a newscaster, everybody always says "Fake it 'til you make it" when they can't remember their lines.

Martha countered with, "I've been on TV for 12 years and I've NEVER said, 'Fake it 'til you make it'!!"

She fired Shawn for saying "Fake it 'til you make it" and for being boisterous.
She still hasn't developed a catch phrase when she fires people (she probably didn't want to pay Donald to say, "You're Fired" since he copyrighted it). Tonight she said, "I wish you well, but I have to say goodbye". Then she rolled her eyes when the team left the conference room.

Snippet from her goodbye letter to Shawn - "At Martha Stewart Living, everything we do has to be beautiful on the inside and out, just like the wedding cake".

George Wannabe was as annoying as ever. I will never respect him.

The previews for next week look even better than this week's "A Conference Room Twist".
The phrase for next week is, "One Team Won't Even Finish"!!!

I bet it's Matchstick again.

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