It's Jonnie Wednesday

Tell me about Jonnie.
Tell me how you feel about him.
Is he as he appears to be?
Is there something deep and mysterious about him?
Has he ever done the sombrero for Sandra?
He's not as cool as me though, right?

I think he has this boyish enthusiasm about life, and about things, and it is infectious. Try spending any time around Jonnie and not get caught up in his fascination with Nixon, Hulk hands, Del Taco, or ejaculation.
I dare you, go ahead and try.