psst... rumor time. Goose...

is on the verge of becoming magnificently famous on the internet, but the skeletons in his closet could make or break him. let me tease you with these questions. for example, how did he get the name Gooseneck? it's a more sordid tale than we could ever imagine. and, just imagine for a moment, if you will, the great triad of Goose, Ernie Banks, and Crazy Larry. just think of the evil they could perpetrate.

oh, and i heard he likes to wear women's underwear. on his head. while sitting on the exercise bike. and we all know what else he does on the exercise bike.