The Real World ... Blogger Style: reasons I love the midwest

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

reasons I love the midwest

So here I am in chicago and it is 630 am CA time and I am groggy

but still, I love the midwest. Why, you may ask. The Midwest is much maligned, and wrongly so. So without further ado:

1. Good hair--I always have good hair in the Midwest, because the humidity makes it lustrous and gives that freshly-fucked look
2. the presence of ashtrays indoors--for some reason this strikes me as so retro it is comforting
3. people are fat and that's A-Ok
4. pie--the PIE here is without peer
5. it spawned some cool people
6. the delicate and subtle landscape
7. seasons
8. everything is so cheap you feel like you're in mexico or something
9. people say hello on the street-- at first I thought this was creepy in a stepford wives way,but now that I am more worldly I realize that is really the vestiges of civilized behavior--the people have yet to be terrorized by the ranks of the crazy and the homeless who never stop spare changing.
10. Places like "Don's Guns"
11. homogenaity--so many blondes it is like "Village of the Damned" and I, a brunette, become a rare exotic by comparison
12. sawblade paintings
13. for me there is a kind of spiritual breathing room here--probably because I am not a native and didn't have to attend a midwestern high school.
14. all the hipsters HATE the midwest


15. I have an uneasy feeling though that living in Frisco has ruined me for other cities and why can't I smell the ocean?