The Real World ... Blogger Style: camoflaged deer

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

camoflaged deer

Originally uploaded by AEP.
There's a deer hidden in this photo. Just because it is hard to see doesn't mean I'm a crappy photographer, it means the deer is great at camoflage!

But the true masters of deception are TICKS.

I HATE ticks. They LOVE me. I found one oh so casually feeding off my ass this morning when I stepped outside the tent to mark my territory. The tick was marking hers (I assume it was female--aren't all bloodsuckers female?)

I pulled it off and am now seriously considering NOT QUITTING SMOKING because nothing gets a tick quicker than the burning cherry of a good strong butt. The little bitches crisp like bacon.

I hate ticks. I pull them off the dog. They are double deckers here, too--a huge fat tick so swollen it's mealy-pale and underneath it, a tinier tick cleaning up the dregs.

Like wheels within wheels, ticks within ticks. And you can NEVER feel them on you--you have to eyeball them, of SEEK THEM OUT WITH YOUR FINGERS because they can be there, and feed, and feed, and feed and you will never know until you're anemic and dying of lime disease.

How many ticks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
How many ticks are on the deer in this picture?
How many ticks are in my hair right now?

Oh god, oh god, I have to go, they're ALL OVER ME!!!!!
They're ALL OVER ME!