The Real World ... Blogger Style: Film Noir Friday... dispatch from Frisco

Friday, April 01, 2005

Film Noir Friday... dispatch from Frisco

It was a dark and stormy night.
Hell, scratch that. The sun was shining like a jazz band and if you want to know the truth, this dame hit me like a bolt of lightning from a clear blue sky. It was the first day it hadn't rained in weeks. Frisco's a sopping city, wet as a dishrag in the cafe of the blues, but the day, like the dame, was an exceptional case. (For a city with this much rain, the women in town look great. Not a drowned rat among them. But when the sun comes out, they go to hell and fall to pieces. I guess trench coats cover a multitude of sins. God knows that's why I wear mine.)

So it was a bright blue morning. My secretary, Iphigene, came in early to polish my hat rack. She's a good egg, in love with me, too bad for her a man can't live on eggs--they're bad for the heart. You know some guys swear by a nice juicy tomato, but call me a health nut, I'll take a tall drink of water any time.

This dame, this bolt from the blue, was all that and more besides. She had champagne tits and whiskey eyes.

I trusted her. I always trust a dame with brown eyes, especially if she sucker punches me with a couple uppercuts from her eyelashes.

"Detective," she said, "I want you to tell me the truth."
"Lady, with an opener like that a man's going to lie to you, just on principle. Shoot."
"I don't have time to trade flaccid quips, Detective. I need help."
She sat on my desk and waited for me to light her cigarette.
I wiggled my toes at her through the hole in my shoe.