The Real World ... Blogger Style: Speaking of boobs

Friday, September 24, 2004

Speaking of boobs

I have written the following sonnet about man-boobs, partly inspired by Russ Meyer, partly in honor of all the unsung heroes, men to a man, who hit what I like to call the second puberty, the day they discover they are growing in a special place....

I call it: "The Day John Wayne Gave up the Gun"

I donne'd my gunbelt in the blinding sun
wrapt low about the hips as God intended
but lo, the dazzling duel had not yet begun
when peeping down I realized my boobs extended
flaglike in surrender, white as flags
and crimsoned tipt and garnished with grey hair
lo gravity, I knew, cast down these crags
of mighty muscle. They just hung there!
and though the guns were good grey steel
tight to the grip and trigger quick and trim
the withered flesh above did but reveal
the sad development. Oh god, I was becoming--who had been
such a man! --paragon and lover of the ample breast
knew I could not fight a duel--my manly heart beat sternly in a woman's chest.