I think Bartleby killed the zonkboard

Mea culpa. I was trying to pour some Melville onto the zonkboard and it couldn't handle his scintillating prose. That's what I get for trying to raise the tone of this place. Damn!
Sorry. As penance I will now give you a quotation, at random, from Thackeray's "Vanity Fair" which has nothing whatsoever to do with Melville, but they are making a movie of it (with Reese Witherspoon) so maybe this will whet your chops.

". ..was perverted at the Cocoa-Tree, made helplessly tipsy by this abominable suitor and perverter of youth, and fleeced of four thousand pounds."

Ah Bartleby, ah humanity!